Selena is a twenty-three year old girl living in New York with her best friend James. The two have been best friend since they first met in kindergarten. In the company they work for, James works as the CFO for the Management board, while Selena is...
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It was Saturday night and normally I would be out with the lads at some club, getting wasted until I'm stumbling as I walk and slurring out my words.
Or I would have been cuddled up on this sofa with a warm blanket around us as her head lied on my shoulder and her legs draped over my lap as I rested my hands on her legs and rubbed soothing circles on her thighs since she liked the way it felt and seemed to relax her.
Lately everything I do somehow gets turned into comparison if she were here.
Like when I was simply walking down the stairs the memory of us play fighting in bed came to mind.
Remembering her smile as I kept tickling her sides, the way she fidgeted underneath me and tried prying me off and when she finally managed to do so she gets out of my bed and runs down the stairs, me chasing right after her catching her when she runs into the living room and picking her up over my shoulder and carrying her back up to my room to finish what we started.
Or when I was cooking dinner for myself yesterday the thought of her came to mind and I could just picture her clearly in nothing but her underwear and my t-shirt that reached her thighs as she stood in front of the stove and cooked for us.
I would always end up standing behind her wrapping my arms around her waist from behind and kissing at her neck in an attempt to distract her as she was cooking.
Remembering the way she would try to elbow my gut to get me to stop my affection so she didn't mess up or how she would sometimes give in and completely forget she was cooking, that led to things getting pretty steamy and then the burning food being the reason for us to stop.
She was invading my mind all damn week.
She was so cold towards me this week. She wasn't giving in for anything. Normally it didn't take much for her to forgive me, but this time she was really holding her ground. Being nothing but formal with me at work.
Every time I called her Selena she'd correct me and tell me to call her Ms. King. When I would try to call her, Sel she would send me a scowl and find an excuse to leave the office.
I haven't called or texted her knowing she won't pick up nor respond. They say that when you lose someone to stop at nothing until you get them back.
But she was different. She was the type that when she says stop chasing it means stop chasing.
Though she hasn't told me that yet her actions are showing me she wants me to. So I did. I stopped trying to reach her through the phone.
But all week I've been wanting to talk to her at the office or show up at her house and let her know how bad I miss her.
How empty I feel without her. How cold my home seems to feel now that I know she was the source of the warmth.
Every night before I go to sleep I think and think and think. I play scenes in my head, practice the things I want to say to her, I have endless "what if's", think of all the things I miss that she does, even all things she does that I hate and prepare to talk to her.
