meant to be yours | d.w

5

"You flicker, I cannot touch you. I put my hands among the flames. Nothing burns"

There is something significant about pleading for your life. I used to view it as pathetic when the villain would plead for mercy.

But now my eyes with much more insight to the world see why they do it. Self preservation. It's what every human is guilty of, whether they would like to admit it or not.

Now, I could try all I want to beg for forgiveness after worrying my aunt like that, but I knew she wouldn't buy the false tears.

"Please just let me explain." I said.

I was trying to reason with my aunt the best I could, but when you piss off my aunt reasoning with her can be difficult. Mother always said she was a stubborn, vain woman. But I believe the people we despise always seem to be reflections of our inner selves.

We despise the people who remind us the most of the wretched souls we want to deny.

I remember as a kid, vividly seeing my mother and aunt argue as quietly as they could. Kristy never tried to lower her voice but Marie Davis was a woman of secrets that she intended to keep. My memories remain blurry, but if there's anything that stays engraved in my mind it was the hidden fear in my mothers eyes as she said those words loud enough for me, hiding behind the wall of the living room as I tried to listen in, to hear.

"You're ruining my children!"

"What? Can't have a woman who loves em' both in your place? Cut me a break Suzie."

She gritted her teeth. "For the last time quit calling me that. I want you out of my home."

You see, I had always known Kristy loved life and people in all kinds of ways without her explicitly saying it. There was always this mutual understanding between us no matter how much my mother detested her. I understood her, she understood me.

"Oh you better have a damn good explanation." My aunt spat venomously.

If I weren't looking at her directly, it would look as if she was completely red. My aunt almost never got downright furious, but what I did was an exception.

"There was drinking, and I got knocked out or something like that. I'm not sure but once I woke up it was really late and I had to get someone else to drive me home since I wasn't doing so hot. But the cars at the party and someone's watching it so nothing will happen to the car I promise."

She shook her head, like she couldn't even comprehend this situation. "There was drinking..."

My words being quoted under her breath was the exact indicator to tell me I was in deep peril.

She then then turned her body to face mine. "You know you had me scared to death. If I screw up as a guardian they'll take you both away and you'll be put in foster care. You know ya can't pull something like that again." She reprimanded. Her tone was matter of factly, and that's what got me to realize that this was serious.

"I'm not going to take everything away. Parents that think restricting kids from everything will get them to learn are morons. But I do want to trust you to be more responsible, ya hear?"

I silently agreed, nodding at her request. I then tried to exit the room but a part of me knew I wouldn't just get off easy.

"Hey!" She called out, causing me to turn around to hear what she had to say. "Don't think you're just getting out of this. I'm taking the car away for two weeks, and you've got to pick your brother up from his daycare for four times a week instead of two."