meant to be yours | d.w

33

"God, is this all it is, the ricocheting down the corridor of laughter and tears? Of self-worship and self-loathing? Of glory and disgust?"

I've always been a logical person, in a sense. Those who don't know me would refer to me as: "the good girl, a law abiding citizen." But those who really know my persona would grin only slightly at the mention of my antics. "Oh Rebecca? You see, she never breaks a rule. She only twists them to her advantage."

Too bad not a single soul knows my intricate personal. Well, anyone alive that is.

I had not a clue what I was doing, sneaking around with Dallas like it was some sort of crime. That alone should have been an indicator that I was doing something wrong, but no fair quality thoughts seemed to register in my mind.

All I could think about was that I wanted to see him, and he wanted to see me.

Only there was something about the actions we were pulling while the world stayed senseless. For there was still this undeniable feeling of discomfort that me and Dallas couldn't quite explain.

We both knew the lying was making at least one of us feel bad. Sure, I had grown used to lying when necessary. Practically all of the stories I fed to my parents were the truth, only they stretched out into something that was almost far from actual reality.

I hate lying to people I genuinely care about. I suppose that was a realization that came out of my encounter with Dallas at my doorstep. It was then, the moment that he left, when I was able to finally take a breath. I screwed up, and ultimately, the blame was on me, partially.

If I were to defend myself, I would say that I had every right to act the way I did. For gods sake my brother got a black eye, what did I not have to be stressed about? But then again, it wasn't the worlds fault that I was upset. The people who roam the earth have nothing to do with my demise.

So instead of defending my honor, I apologized to Kristy, Evie, everyone I had hurt. I had high hopes that this would resolve the deepening feeling in my heart that was still remorseful, but if anything, it only seemed to expand into something that terrified me.

He became this secret. This person that I wanted to have all to myself, but in the end he always manage to slip right through my fingers. Everyday we met, never really having a reason as to why we kept our whereabouts hidden. Maybe it was because it felt more alluring that way. But as far as I know, Dallas never cared for the romanticization of situations. All I know in the end is that every day the desire grew stronger, along with my loss of pride, and the darkness that flooded throughout my body whenever he was around.

Rebecca was currently in his room, waiting for him, oddly enough. They made plans last minute and for some reason, she felt nerves swelling in her stomach. It was odd, she didn't feel the need to impress him, but at the same time this reoccurring feeling came flooding back to haunt her.

She wants him to like her. Only this time it's different. This time, they both are in understanding that something is going on between them. They both know that undeniable attraction is on the rise. However there is only one problem.

They are both faced with this admonition. This intensifying feeling that only grew every time they met. Rebecca knew it was wrong, she knew that every time she looked into those eyes she should scorn. But she couldn't help it.

It was in a crucial time like this where she desperately wished he had a clock in his room. Then maybe she wouldn't be so paranoid about being so early, letting herself in, everything that led up to this moment.

The sad excuse for a bed was where she currently sat. Well, it wasn't necessarily a bed. That is, unless you count a lumpy mattress shoved in the corner of the room as a bed.