Midoriya izukill me

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Broccoli

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Broccoli: you have really weird taste in men

Broccoli: your boyfriend is literally my childhood trauma

Me: see not u trynna talk to me after reading All Might x reader fanfictions

Me: your dream boyfriend is literally your father figure

Broccoli: OUTTA POCKET

Broccoli: that was BEFORE he became my father figure

Broccoli: I don't read that anymore!

Me: yea but u didn't stop reading until like last week, pack it up daddy issues 2.0

Broccoli: who is daddy issues 1?

Me: obviously mister Canadian flag

Broccoli: oooo yeah makes sense

Broccoli: anyway, you're one to talk about parental issues

Broccoli: BOTH of your parents went to get milk

Me: AYO

Me: I mean I deserved that but man

Me: ayo where tf your biological dad at huh?

Me: thats why u started going for old ass men like All Might.

Broccoli: I KNOW you're not talking after you had an entire two hour long down-bad-simp-episode about 30-something year old Levi Ackerman

Me: HAVE YOU SEEN THAT MAN?

Me: literally HOW can you blame me?

Broccoli: let's not forget about Toji Fushiguro

Broccoli: Coach Ukai... the OLD one

Broccoli: Joichiro Yukihara

Broccoli: Arata Kirishima

Broccoli: Kamado Tanjuro

Broccoli: Kiritsugu Emiya

Broccoli: Dot Pixis

Me: STOOOOP

Me: ENOUGH

Broccoli: you asked for it!

Broccoli: how dare you judge me for ONE man when you're simping for an ENTIRE LIST OF OLD MEN?!

Me: whatever.

Me: I just like Dilfs OK

Me: at least my crushes don't act like they're my father

Broccoli: enough of this

Broccoli: Ill give you a skittle as a peace offering

Me: skittles huh that's pretty fruity of you

Broccoli: says the one who's in love with every girl in our class

Me: WHAT IS IT WITH YOU CALLING ME OUT TODAY?

Broccoli: YOU STARTED

Broccoli: ok ok Im offering you another peace skittle

Me: I'll take it cause Im hungry

Me: how's it going with Ururaka and you

Broccoli: better than your relationship with Kacchan

Me: I-

Me: are you gonna keep saying mean stuff until you run out of skittles?

Broccoli: I was going to but it's no longer fun now that you know about it

Me: man I still remember when we first met

Me: and you were a such a cute little shy boy who blushed at the slightest contact with a lady

Me: now you're just a menace to society

Broccoli: and who do you think taught me?

Me: not me, we hardly hang out

Broccoli: yeah thats true

Broccoli: it was Iida

Broccoli: he tried to commit murder, Im not nearly as bad as he is

Me: lmao true that

Me: btw, not u trying to blame your childhood trauma on Katsuki

Me: I thought your childhood trauma came from your daddy

Broccoli: Im not Todoroki

Me: LMAO

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I forgot to upload for awhile lmao sorry my bad

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