BLACKmail

16

"You didn't show up for dinner." He sounds disappointed, still looking at the scenery in front of us.

"I don't wanna post that picture but you hurt my feelings, you know?" Oh yeah? Then who's gonna take care of mine? You didn't just hurt my feelings, but my pussy. Abuse us mentally and physically. And emotionally.

Who are we kidding? There's no way a girl will surrender herself to her rapist doesn't matter if he feeds her at the most exclusive restaurant first.

I've been home for a month but I'm so traumatised to have sex with my girlfriend, I can count with my fingers how much we've had it, with just one hand. I can't help but to feel like I'm cheating on her every time we get into it.

I can't relax, so all I do is freak out and that is the one thing Juliette hates the most. She's in PR for God sake. She's supposed to contain the whole freak-out thing. That's her main scope of work, her specialty.

So I agreed to continue the whole open-relationship thing, allowing her to chill with her friends. By chill, it means go clubbing and have sex with them. I don't want her to notice those uncomfortable feelings I had every time we're together. Heck, I winced at her kisses during the first week I'm here.

"I thought you won't come tonight so-" He posted that picture?!

"I haven't." That's all he says, perhaps after seeing the horror on my face.

I heave in relief as he suddenly puts a smile on his face, grabbing my hand and puts it in between his, sandwiching my tiny hand in between two of his, "I take it you're not gonna go, then?"

As if I have a choice.

But I know better than to answer him that way so I shut my mouth, and just stare at our entwining hands.

"I'm not gonna bring you to my room tonight," he tells me in a calm tone as he plays with my hand. I should feel better when he said those words but I don't, because I know he must have a worse thing planned for me.

But to be honest, why? I'm seriously curious right now. Why won't he bring me up to his room? His text specifically told me to go to his room so why?

Is it because he thought I'm not gonna come tonight so he has a different woman upstairs? The one he picks up from the bar? Just like how we started a few months ago?

"But I do have a to-do list for you." A to-do list?

He touches my chin and brings my face so I'd look at him, but I don't have the courage to do that. Instead, I direct my eyes towards the wall behind him, blankly staring at the ivory paint as I try to compose myself instead of showing what I'm feeling in front of him.

Fear. That's what I'm feeling right now.

"I'm gonna have the key to my new place this Tuesday so I need you to finish the to-do list by then." What's it got to do with him moving to his new place? He wants me to run errands for him?

"There's only two on the list so two days should be enough for you." Fine, I'm curious now. Fucking tell me what those are so I can get the hell out of here.

"The first one is, I want you to," I can feel him drilling a sharp gaze through my skulls, but I fight the urge to look at him, no, "Break up with that girlfriend of yours."

And just like that I direct my eyes at him, "No."

He doesn't say anything but carves another smile.

"The second one is," he totally ignores my no, "Pack your stuffs, because I'm gonna pick you up on Tuesday evening, after work." Do I look that stupid to him?

"I'm not gonna move in with my rapist." It's a surprise how I managed to gather my courage to say that to his face, this close.

He pulls that intimidating look instead of the warm, no-harm one he had just now, "I've warned you not to say the bad word didn't I?"

I cower at the warning, "Please Gabriel," his name taste like poison on my tongue, "Please let me go."

"Let you go?"

"Please," I sob like a lost little girl as I continue with my pleading, "I've done everything you wanted at Thailand, so please. Please let me go. I can give you money if you want, I-"

"Money?" He looked disappointed, "I don't want your money. Why would you even mention it? Can't you see how much I like you? And you like me too, I know-"

"You raped me!" I stand at such a rapid speed the chair I was sitting falls behind me after that loud screeching noice on the floor, "How delusional can you be to say I like you? You're sick!"

He immediately stands and holds both of my arms, "Do you wanna come upstairs to calm down?"

I shouted the word rape, I had tears on my face, with a big scary man next to me, so why isn't anybody coming to rescue me? To get me out of here? To be on my side, defending me. Where are you God?

"No," I answer him defeatedly, I'm not ready to have anymore physical interaction with him. I'm exhausted, emotionally.

"I'll see you Tuesday." I wipe my tears as he pulls me into his arms, for another hug. I don't have the energy to push him so I let him do whatever he feels like. It's not like I can escape him. It's not like God's gonna be on my side.

"Alright, I'll pick you up this Tuesday. Okay." He rubs my back gently, but I'm not feeling better. Instead I feel more disgusted with myself.

"I'll send you home."