BLACKmail

10

"You didn't tell me you're back." I'd be stupid to do that.

"I told you to contact me once you're back in Bangkok." I'd be stupid to do that.

"I know you've been back for two weeks. Figured I'd email you but it's work email. Should've asked for your number or personal email." I'd be stupid to do that.

"You're not gonna say anything at all to me?" I'd be stupid to do that.

"Sweetheart," suddenly he puts his hand on mine, we stop walking as he turns me to face him, "Why didn't you call me?"

"I'd be stupid to do that." There, I've been wanting to say that.

"In what world would a girl call her rapist when she has the chance to get away? I'd be stupid to do that!" I shout at the top of my lung as he quickly looks around. We're standing in the middle of an indoor playground, separating between the hotel and the service apartment building. He's lucky there is nobody around at midnight.

Not so much for me.

He sighs, "I told you not to call me that."

"Why? Can't accept the reality?"

"I'm gonna give you your reality in 5 minutes. Let's go." He takes my hand and urge me to walk to the entrance gate. I stand still, "No."

"No?" He asks, challenging.

"No." I'm not gonna be stupid and invite him home to rape me again.

"Okay." He takes out his phone and unlocks the screen. That's when I become panic and quickly reach out for his hand, "No! Please, no!"

I might lose my dignity to him but at least I still have some spared when I face the world. He looks at me, as if giving a warning.

"Please, don't." I put both of my hands on his, begging him. He can fuck me all he wants, I still can be in one piece.

But I won't be if my family knows about it. My mother will personally carve my vagina from me then dig a grave to bury us, alive.

"Let's go." Two words, then we're off to my apartment.

***

"If you ever, call me a rapist, again, I will release a picture of your before." He warns me in the morning, while sipping his coffee from my batman mug. The one Appa gave me that I'd bring everywhere I go when I'm on work trips.

"Do you wanna see which one I'm talking about?" I quickly shake my head as I look at him in horror. The one he snapped before he fingered me during our first time at the rig. Uhh embarrassing.

"If you call me again after that, then the after comes out." He takes another sip of the hot beverage, "But of course, you won't. Right, sweetheart?"

He's been calling me that all night. I really wanna slap him so bad. He's disgusting but there is nothing I can do about this.

"I want you to pick up every time I call you, reply every text messages I sent you. Do you understand?"

I nod. He made me give him my number last night, even my personal email. Let's just say his method of getting them is very erm persuasive.

"I want words, sweetheart."

"Y-y-yes." I whisper as I look down on my hands, fidgeting with the fingers.

"Look at me when I'm talking." I immediately look up upon his warning. Why am I so weak. This is not me. I scold people for a living, why am I being a mouse right now.

"From now on I want you to call me daddy." What? Am I hearing it wrong? I must have spent too much time here that I'm hearing nonsense. Thai accent is-

"Are you listening?" His voice brings my eyes up to him again.

"Come here," he stretches the other hand to me as another is still holding the mug. I jump to him so fast I almost stumble on the coffee table in between us.

"I'm gonna have to go back to the hotel but I'll come again tonight." He kisses my forehead then put his finger on my chin, making me look up to his face.

"Wear something sexy," his voice is husky. I gulp, nodding three times.

"No more batman," he smiles as I nod again. Every time I leave for work I only bring my batman panties and black sports bra. Is he expecting me to buy lingerie here? Spending money for my rapist? Making an effort to entice him more?

But do I have a choice?

***

"So you've been single for three years?" Darlene seems so surprised hearing his answer when the four of us have lunch later that afternoon. Four, including her other friend Brighton who also stays at the same hotel.

"Why three years? What happened?" His dick happened. I mean, who in their right mind would take his enormous dick? We want pleasure, not pain.

Though I have grown accustomed to his size since the second week he raped me. Guess it takes at least ten sessions to get used to it.

"I'm just too busy. I've been deployed everywhere since I started. Long distance doesn't work." He drinks his wine as he focuses on Darlene. Brighton and I seems to be the third and fourth wheel to their lunch date.

"Tell her about it!" Suddenly I'm being roped into the conversation. I stop munching my chicken while cursing Darlene silently, please don't bring my relationship into this. Not cool, Dar. Not cool.

"Why? What happened, Charlie?" Brighton asks. Now everybody's looking at me, interested. And apparently waiting for a story.

"I, uh," I turn to Darlene, asking for her help. I don't wanna reveal about me and Juliette. Not in front of a stranger and a rapist. I told her in confidence!

"She's the only one who's in a relationship. You know, since we're here. In Thailand. Far away. Long distance relationship. That's what I mean." She saves me, finally realises how uncomfortable I am now.

"Oh so you have a boyfriend." Brighton states. I put my hand on her lap, stopping her for sharing more details. Don't you dare. Don't you fucking dare correct him!

"Anyway, how old are you Gabriel?" She smiles at me while asking him. Good. Another topic. Stay away from my life, bitch.

And I'm never gonna share anything with you anymore. Ever.

"28. You?" They're back at their lunch date, as Brighton and I are back at being decorations at the table.

"Oh, I'm 28 too!"

I drink my wine hearing these babies talk. I'm basically ancient compared to these three.