The Gen-Z Avenger (One-Shots!)

0110| That Week

There are 52 weeks in a year.

By far, the worst of these takes place in May.

On May 29th, Tony Stank was born. Meaning the week long celebration of him takes place.

Collectively, Tony almost dies at least 12 times due to his own stupidity. Last year I had to take the entire week off of school to basically babysit him, I was not going to do that again.

"Why is everyone gathered so early.." I said, arriving in the kitchen with Wanda, we had just gotten out of bed.

"A, it's 1 in the afternoon. B, the week is upon us.." Steve said, dropping his head to the floor.

"I will not, no wait, you cannot fucking make my babysit the man child this year!" I yelled, I wasn't going down for this one.

"Please Y/N!" Bucky said, the boy looked desperate.

"I will not sacrifice my precious time, resources and hotness to making sure Tony does not die jumping off of the Empire State Building!"

I mean I only walked into the kitchen for Nutella toast and now, 327 dollars and Bucky's motorcycle later, I had a weeks worth of drunk man life saving ahead of me. Always wait for them to start throwing out the cash, and well the cool method of transport.

Usually on day one, that's when Tony gets the most wasted. Probably because he isn't partly hung over so this is the day I have the most pain on my hands.

"MOTHER THESE ARE MY FRIENDS!" He yelled and I had to use my powers to remove him from the top of the Chrysler Building.

"Please, never use words again." I said, putting him in the car. I could only deal with one near death experience a day.

On the second day is usually when  Tony thinks that if he gets drunk in the morning, you can beat the hangover. I honestly don't know if I believe him, he's meant to be a genius.

Today's near death experience was when he fucking decided upon eating a walnut salad, and choke on the nut. Scratch that, mans not a genius he's dumb.

Day three was okay, until it was almost midnight when he tried to jump off of the DJ stand at a nightclub. I'm a teenager, mans had to BUY me in, then in a drunken move, he bought the club.

By day four I was sort of over the whole 'I'm the birthday boy and almost die because I'm wasted' type of thing. I mean i was so tired, I just wanted to get into my nice, cozy bed, with my beautiful girl. I just wanted a small break.

"KID?! WOULD YOU LIKE TO BEER DRINK?!" Tony yelled.

"Dad, do you mean drink beer?" I said, sipping my diet coke.

"YES DRINK THAT, YOU GO GIRL!" He screamed.

"One of us has to drive home, It's not certainly not gonna be you.." I said, continuing my drink.

Day five I wanted to die.

I wanted more than 327 bucks for this, I pleaded with Steven to just let me have the night off, bitch laughed a threw me a 20. I guess I got something from him. On day five he almost died after getting chased by a lawnmower, don't ask.

Day six I was in the home stretch. Tomorrow i would get cake, my final day, a week of no training. I also got that from Steve.

I was thinking of all the things i would do with my freedom, that's why I didn't notice Tony attempting to see if compared to a car, his leg was indestructible. Spoiler alert, it was not.

"Hey Stevie.." I said, once I answered the phone.

"Y/N is three in the morning.." Steve said in a sleepy voice, "Is that a siren?!" He said, boy was he awake now.

"No.." I nervously said, watching Tony being loaded into an ambulance.

"What happened?!" He said, I could hear him trying to wake Nat up in the background.

"Tony's leg, there taking us to New York-Presbyterian Hospital, can you bring snacks and Wanda?" I said, climbing aboard the ambulance.

Steve, Nat, an extremely tired Bucky and my Wanda arrived in the waiting room, I was the only one allowed inside because i was family.

At midnight, it was my dads birthday. Apparently my dad needed to stay overnight, meaning he was in for his actual date of birth.

"Hey.." I said, knocking on the door to his very expensive and private room.

"Hey kiddo.." He said, in the most sober tone I had heard him all week.

"I got jello! They have no cake, but I have birthday jello.." I said, presenting it to the man in the hospital bed.

"I think next year, we should just celebrate on my actual birthday, not the entire week.." He said, eating his jello.

"I mean I gathered over 400 bucks as the week went on, Bucky motorcycle for a weekend, a week off of training and years supply of soda.."

I would do it all again for the soda. Thanks for that Peter.

"How did you do that?" He giggled.

"Nobody, I mean nobody, wanted to babysit when you were drunk.." I replied.

Tony was back home for birthday cake, the next year he only had a three day long celebration. It was a lot to ask of him to go from a week of himself, to just three days. I got a whole bunch cash the next year. Steve even considered getting me another dog for my effort.