Chapter 43

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Makayla POV:

I was back in the black void. I started to look around when the black void shifted into my old bedroom.

"SLUT! GET YOUR FUCKING ASS DOWN HERE" I herd Sir yell. My feet started moving as if I had no control over them. I limped down the stairs and into the living to.

I made sure that my head was down when I approached sir. "Hey bitch where gonna play a little game" he slurred. It was clear that he had just gotten home from the bar.

Before I could try to decline his offer, he grabbed me by the hair and dragged me over to the worn out couch. He threw me down on the disgusting couch.

He then grabbed something out of his waistband. He pointed the object at my face. I felt my heart stop. This was the first time that I had ever seen a gun.

"Now you whore your gonna sit there while I test your luck" he slurred with a cold smirk. I opened my mouth to protest, but before I could a loud bang filled.

I could practically hear the bullet buzz past my ear. "One" he growled. He then let out another shot. This time it nearly missed my hip as it hit the couch behind me.

"Two". It looked like he was starting to get frustrated. As the next bullet fired it felt as if time had slowed. I watch as the bullet scraped the side of my cheek and dug itself into the wall.

"Three" he hissed as I looked at where the bullet was lodged into the wall.

I shoot straight up shaking from how real that felt. I started hyperventilating and shaking. I herd some noises, but it wasn't clear. It was like I was drowning.

I was falling deeper and deeper until I felt something wet press against my hand. That touch brought me back to the real world.

With a large gulp of air I was finally able to breath again. I looked around to find that I was laying in my bed. I looked down to find king laying next to me whimpering.

His nose was pressed against my hand while he looked up at me with scared eyes. "I'm sorry boy. It was just a bad dream" I told him scratching the top of his head.

I looked over at my clock to find that it was 2:57. I was supposed to wake up for school in like three and a half hours.

I knew that if I stayed in my room then I wouldn't be able to fall asleep. Not knowing what else to do I headed out of my room. King decided that he was going to follow me.

I stoped in front of Liam's room, with my hand on the door knob. I took a deep breath before slowly cracking the door open.

I peaked my head in, trying to find him in this dark room. Once I spotted him sprawled out on his bed, I slowly headed to him.

"Liam" I whispered, nothing. "Liam" I tried again a little louder, still nothing. "Liam" I tried once more, poking his shoulder this time. I finally got a response this time. Sadly it was only a groan.

"Liam please wake up" I begged him. "I'm up, I'm up" he groaned. He looked at me for a second before he saw my tear stained face.

Seeing how upset I looked he sat up and looked at me. "Makayla, what's wrong" Liam asked me. "I had a bad dream" I said looking down at the floor, a little embarrassed.

"Come here" he said gently scooting over. I climbed on to his lap and king jumped up on to the empty spot Liam just made for me.

I rested my head on Liam's shoulder as he started to stroke my hair. "Do you want to talk about it" he asked me.

I was quite for a second until I finally decided to tell him. "When I was thirteen Darrel brought a gun home" I started telling him.

"He pointed it at me and told me that he was going to test my luck. He fired the gun three times. He missed all of the shots. The last bullet grazed the side of my face though" when I finished I started bawling my eyes out again.

I felt Liam go stiff at my words. I hope I didn't say the wrong thing. Is he mad at me? "I'm not mad at you Makayla" Liam said with a sigh, almost as if he read my mind.

"I mad at that sick so of a bitch who you called your step father. But most of all Im mad at myself for not being able to protect you from him" Liam told me.

I looked up at Liam and gave him a sad smile. "It's not your fault" I told him. I don't understand why all of my brothers always blame themselves for what Darrel did to me.

"Liam" I said look back up at him. "Yes baby" he asked me. "I really want to cut" I told him looking back down ashamed. "I know that I shouldn't but I...I just need some kind of control right now" I told his. I felt the tears start to gather in my eyes but I pushed them away.

Without another word Liam picked me up a carried me into his ensuite bathroom. He say me down on his counter and closed the door.

He looked me in the eyes before he finally said, "I used to cut too". I'm not going to lie, it surprised me to hear that. The way my brothers talked about cutting it made it sound like they didn't understand.

"When May took you I blamed myself. I know I was young when it happened, but it didn't stop me from blaming myself. I had a lot of anger.

I was angry at everyone and everything. I just shut down. Soon that anger turned into self loathing. I hated myself and I needed to do something.

So i started cutting myself. I needed some way to make myself pay. One day Luke walked in on me cutting myself.

I told him everything and we both cried for awhile. That day I made a promise to him to stop cutting. Trust me, I know it's not as easy as people make it sound.

You can't just stop one day, at least I couldn't. If you want ways to make it easier and still get some relief then you can always talk to me" he told me. I felt tears run down my face by the end of his story.

"Help me" was the only thing that I was able to choke out through all of my tears. He nodded his head before looking though his drawers.

He pulled out red food coloring and a hair tie. I gave him a confused look but all he said was 'Trust me'. He poured some food coloring on my wrist before putting the hair tie over it.

"Pull the hair tie" he instructed. I did as he said and pulled back on the hair tie. I released the hair tie and watched as it snapped back into my wrist.

I felt a sting and watched as read food coloring flowed down my wrist, looking just like blood. "This was the best way for me to get a release" Liam told me.

"The sting of the hair tie mixed with the food coloring made me feel like I was cutting" he told me. I didn't pay to much attention to his words as I was focused on my wrist.

One for being weak

Two for being too lucky

Three for not dying

Four for waking up Liam

And five for causing my bothers all of this trouble

I was about to do it agin when I felt Liam's hand grab my own. "Just because your not cutting doesn't mean that I like it. I don't want you doing this to often, only when you need to" he told me.

I nodded my head a d started feeling tired. I laid my head on Liam's chest and closed my eyes. I felt Liam let out a soft chuckle.

I herd the sink start and my wrist being placed under it. He scrubbed off the food coloring before tuning off the sink. He carried me back to his bed and laid me down.

I curled into his chest feeling safe in his arms. "goodnight baby" He whispered. "Goodnight Liam. I love you" I replied without thinking. There was a slight pause before he responded with "I love you too Makayla". Once those words left his mouth I was back in dream land.

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