Distressed // Steve Rogers

30 - Ripples and Shockwaves

Something had changed. Almost overnight the shift had taken place and Talia felt the sting of panic as if it were an insect crawling beneath her skin, leaving a trail of venomous bites all over her. She never got to see Nat anymore, nor did she see Thor or Vision. She was even beginning to miss Tony and his moody quips as they searched high and low for any trace of a trail left behind by Zemo in the wake of what had happened two weeks ago. Not a day passed by without her thinking of his words; of his warning. Despite everything, despite finally feeling as if after years of punishment she had found her redemption, despite the blissful peace she felt in the arms of the super soldier who loved her, she was not safe. She would never be safe.

Her panicked state had not gone unnoticed. Before the others had left Bruce had begun to watch her, always from the sidelines, and he noticed the changes. He noticed how she sought out the comfort of familiarity; never staying in a room if she would be alone there, only training if she could partner with Steve or Sam, staying up later and rising earlier each day to avoid sleep. He saw it all and he knew what she was going to need. He spoke to Stark.

Steve found himself benched from the mission and if he was honest with himself he'd never felt more relief than the moment Tony told him to sit it out. He spent his nights holding her, loving her. He spent his days watching her, distracting her, protecting her. Still, she worried. Every night for a week Talia had screamed out in terror as she slept, she had thrashed and kicked and clawed at phantom faces that taunted her from behind her eyes and each night Steve had held her when she finally woke. He held her as she cried, sobbing against his chest, her mind racing down dark paths of her past she never wished to revisit. He held her in moments where she could not find the words to voice her darkness, and in moments when she needed to tear it from her chest, to detach it from herself so it could not cling to her any longer. When she slept soundly he would watch her, tracing the dark circles under her eyes and wishing he could wipe the pain and worry and heart stopping fear out of her mind. He watched with pained eyes and an aching chest as the terrors became worse, as her relief became harder to find, and one detail stuck out to him.

She was worse because Bucky had stopped letting her in.

*

Talia huffed as she threw her phone down against the couch cushions again, disappointment and bitter resentment burning her throat as the emptiness of her notifications screamed out to her. She felt his thumb rub slowly against her side, a small sign of support and affection as she lay with her back against Steve's chest, and his lips pressed into her hair gently.

"He's avoiding me, not you Tal," Steve mumbled against her hair. He reached for the blanket strewn over the back of the couch and pulled it down, laying it over them both so that they were snug and warm. "Stop letting it get to you."

Talia faced the television, her eyes unfocussed as the film she forced Steve to watch with her played on in the background. She had no idea how long it had been on for now. She had focussed on nothing but the silence that was screaming at her from the medical centre and what she could have done to cause it.

"Yeah well," the discontent of her mind seeped into her voice, "it sure as hell feels like he's avoiding me."

She glanced at her phone beside her.

"He's ignoring my texts now too."

Steve sighed. He knew what was going on and he hated that he was a part of it, involuntary or otherwise.

"Talia, I promise you, it is not you."

She looked back to him with sad eyes as he spoke.

"He is fine with you. He just doesn't know what to say to me right now and I'm not going to push him to talk until he's ready." He placed a soft kiss against her lips before she looked back to the television. "I'm sorry Runaway. I know it's hurting you, but just give him some time."