Save Me (An Eddie Diaz 911 Fanfiction)

Jane Begins

**** TRIGGER WARNINGS THE ENTIRE CHAPTER******  Abuse, Neglect, Sexual Assault, Violence, Blood, Death, Suicidal Thoughts, Attempted Suicide, and More. Reader Discretion is advised. 

18 Years Ago

August 2000

Jane Thomas was tired. Although she was eight years old, younger and smaller than many of the children in the group home, the adults depended on her to corral the younger kids, five and under, into submission. They expected a lot from her. She needed to mind them. She had to clean up after them. She had to make sure that they stayed in bed once the lights were off. But, her most important job, was to make sure that Gabe didn't do anything stupid or break any more toes.

Greg, the man who was supposedly in charge of the entire group home was the worst. He was a round man with stereotypical dark slicked back hair and a mustache. Ironically, he could have been a taller and wider Danny Devito as he appeared in Matilda. Greg constantly forgot her name and had taken to calling Jane 'You'; as in, 'You' take over for Christina in the nursery or 'You' James is sick, so we need another person to help with dishes. Christina was as big as her husband, but with a thicker mustache and a worse disposition.

It would not be a problem, all of this helping, Jane thought, if only they acknowledged her outside of telling her to do something. Even the other kids acted like she was just there to pick up their slack and they ignored her unless something immediately concerned them. Only one person in the world acknowledged her. Gabe.

Gabriel Edmundo Montez was two years younger than Jane, and he was the closest thing she had to family. The small dark-haired boy was confined to a wheelchair and had a reputation for running over the feet of people who got on his bad side. His loudmouth and his general disregard for others, even at the age of six, ensured that very few wanted to help him. He was a child who had been diagnosed with severe muscular dystrophy. He'd been taken away from his parents, who were drug addicts who couldn't take care of him. Worse, while his grandmother would have done anything to help, she had been diagnosed with Parkinsons and she could barely take care of herself. The worst part was that Gabe knew exactly what had happened with his family. His anger and resentment were palpable, and it took up the entirety of his weakening body.

If anyone asked a six-year-old Gabe his thoughts, all girls had cooties and were losers, except for Jane who he still believed might have cooties, but she wasn't a loser. Despite his preference for the older blonde, he made her sit across the room for fear that she was contagious. Regardless of his prickly personality, he was the only one to ever ask her how she was. He was the only one who asked if she had eaten and if she had something to say about the bossy overlords, as he liked to call them. He was the only person in the Home that even remembered she existed outside of chores.

"Seriously, Janie," He told her often. "You can't let them boss you around all the time. People take advantage of you." This advice was reiterated every time he watched an episode of Dr. Phil. Which, unfortunately for Jane, was every day.

Jane was quiet. Too quiet really. Adults around her, especially Christina, Greg's wife, often complained that they never even realized she was there until she tapped them on her shoulder. It annoyed them and unfortunately, for her, Jane was an overly sensitive child in a not too sensitive world. Each time an adult said that she was annoying, she curled into herself farther. She gradually spoke less and less. She was picked on, and she struggled to let it slide. She swallowed up every criticism and every chastisement and directed it inward. She took on every burden and slowly but surely, her load got heavier and heavier. At eight years old, Jane Thomas was tired.

Already, that inner voice, the one that would haunt the girl for years to come had slithered its way into being. Echoing the words of the adults around her and making her doubt her very existence. It was a terrible burden for an eight-year-old to take on, but some days the girl just wanted to disappear and leave everyone here behind. Jane never realized that most of the time, that voice sounded like Greg because later, such vile loathing would become so internalized that the voice would be Jane herself.