Save Me (An Eddie Diaz 911 Fanfiction)

Fallout

Triggers: Self-Anger/Hatred, Mental Health Medications

Note: As I've warned, Jane's journey is not linear. Brace yourselves for Waterworks.

Jane and Eddie's first argument since they'd decided to become a couple was a bad one. So bad that Jane had been momentarily certain they could never overcome the hurdle. Eddie though, he was so sure of them, so sure of their fit, that he'd vehemently disagreed. He'd fought for them, and Jane had allowed him to sooth away that anxiety. That's why, when she'd confronted him about his fighting, she'd HATED that he'd used that moment of vulnerability as an excuse to keep things from her. Even if, as he'd said, it was to protect her. Secrets...they always came to light, and as a result there would always be a fallout.

Jane's Apartment- Five Days Before the Ice Rink Call

Since the trial, Jane hadn't slept well. She wasn't sure if it was PTSD or stress or just plain old insomnia, but her sleep schedule had to get back on track if she wanted to get back to work. It had been taking such a toll on her body and her mental health. It had gotten so bad that Jane had fallen asleep mid-conversation with Eddie over the phone in the middle of the day. Worried for her, Eddie had come over after a shift and had insisted that she take a nap. She had no energy to argue, and Jane fell asleep on her couch, waiting for Eddie to make her cup of tea.

Each dream was the same. Jane was in the courtroom, and HE was there. It was a familiar situation that mirrored real life, except this time HE wasn't surrounded by prison guards. He was free and the entire courtroom, filled to the brim with people, would watch as he stood up and came at her on the witness stand. She would be stuck there, in her seat, unable to move. She'd look around the courtroom at her family and friends, at the judge and prosecutor and court reporter, and she'd scream. She'd beg them to stop him. To help her. All of them would stare ahead blankly, complicit smiles on their faces as they didn't even blink as he came for her.

Willis, a cruel and satisfied expression on his face didn't speak either, so the only sound was his approaching footsteps paired with her frantic pleading. Then, before she could comprehend it, he was there. He'd grab her wrist, and pull her into him and then-

Jane jerked awake with a startled gasp for breath and a muffled sob. It startled Eddie, nearly causing him to drop the cup of tea and small lunch he'd made for them, but before he could ask her what was wrong, she shot up and ran back to her bathroom, muttering under her breath.

"Off," he thought he heard her whimper. "I've got to get him off."

Jane didn't register where she was or that Eddie was there. She didn't notice Felix, who looked up at her as if she'd lost her mind. She saw absolutely nothing beyond her intended destination. She made it to her bathroom sink and turned the hot water faucet as far as it would go. Steam began to come out of the spout, and she took a nearby rag, covered it with four shaky spouts of hand soap, and began to scrub violently at the offensive appendage.

After two minutes, she was still scrubbing, her movements jerky and rough. Tears fell on her face, clouding her vision of hands that appeared almost raw, but that wasn't nearly as bad as her right forearm. The place where, in her dream, her monster had grabbed on and would not let go.

He has to come off. He has to get off of me. I'll cut the arm off if I have to, but I have to get him off.

"No," she cried, scrubbing her arms harder, desperately trying to get the feeling of his hands off of her. "It's not clean. Why isn't it clean? Get off! Get off! Get off!"