ʙʟᴀɴᴋ sᴘᴀᴄᴇ- ʀɪɴᴛᴀʀᴏᴜ sᴜɴᴀ

distant

It's been 3 days. Nobody has spoken to me. Suna won't reply to my texts or answer my calls. Adelia and I stopped sitting with the team at lunch, since they just iced me out anyway. I'm upset now, before I was just confused, but now it actually hurts. Especially from Suna, he is my boyfriend after all. He took me to a hotel and fucked me, told me he loved me in a rock shelter, cried to me, had me sleep at his place, calls me baby and pretty girl 24/7, and now he doesn't want to know me? So yeah of course it's upsetting me.

Luckily, art class is my only lesson of the day and it usually acts as a stress reliever for me. I find it so easy to get lost in what I'm doing and not think about anything else, even though it can also act as the opposite and be my biggest stress provider when I know I'm not gonna meet my deadline.

I sit at my desk, and take my recent piece out of my folder. It's just a simple oil painting- still takes time though. I haven't really had any friends in this class anyway, so people not speaking to me isn't really out of the ordinary.

"Hey (y/n). Have you replied to the email we sent out?" my art teacher asks as they walk over.

I kinda tense up at the reminder of the art course. "Yeah..."

"I'm hoping that you said yes?"

"I did yeah."

"Brilliant. It won't be easy, far from it. But you can succeed in this programme, I'm sure of it."

"Okay, thank you."

Way to shit me up even more.

The rest of the time in the class flies by, painting is actually pretty time consuming if you're doing it properly. I decide to go sit in my car and try gather my thoughts before Adelia joins me and we go home.

I got this car recently. So no more awkward encounters on the bus. It's black with black interior. I have a (favourite scent) air freshener too. I throw my bag in the backseat and get in the car, putting my head lazily in my hands whilst my elbows prop me up on the steering wheel. I remember thinking that I didn't care about what people thought of me, and I'd love to say that I still feel the same way, but I don't think I do.

Before I met Suna, I was different. I wasn't bothered about anything, or anyone. Sure, I had Adelia, but essentially- I was alone. So of course when I met Suna, I was like 'why do I feel like this?' or whatever, it's awkward to explain. But he made me feel so much better, I felt excitement for the first time in a long while. His nicknames, his random acts of affection, his vulnerable side, everything just made me happy.

Now, I feel like its all gone. He doesn't seem like he wants to even know me. I'd rather him just break up with me instead of just ignoring me and leaving me in the dark.

Tears fall down my face. A couple at first, but soon it's just a stream of upset.

I just want to know why. Why did he come into my life just to do this? Why won't anybody tell me what the fuck is going on? Why didn't I just do what my parents asked and go to a law school? Fuck, I'm so stupid.

Maybe I should text him again. But he won't answer. He doesn't even read them. I even tried to text Osamu, his best friend, but he didn't reply either. It just feels unfair. I can't recall doing anything wrong, and even if I did, when was it? Everything was fine all weekend, and now we've gotten back to school and it's all ruined. There's only 2 people that'll even speak to me- Adelia and Reiki. But I can't expect them to fix my mess.

"(y/n) oh my God, my class was sooo fucking boring and- hey are you okay?" Adelia says as she gets into the passenger seat.

I look up from the wheel and quickly wipe my tears. "Huh? I'm fine. Why was your class boring?"

"Don't lie to me (y/n). What's going on?"

"Nothing. Just stressed."

"I'm gonna kick Suna's ass. Tomorrow in class, you'll see."

"There's no point, it won't change anything."

Right on cue, Suna walks past my car with a girl. We only catch the identity of the girl once Suna stops and turns around to face her. It just had to be Caisey.

There it is. The icing on the fucking cake.

They look like a couple. She's looking at him with dreamy eyes, whilst I can't even read his expression. Neither of them noticed my car, and if I'm honest, I wish I didn't notice them. She grabs his hand and pulls his across the parking lot happily. He doesn't even protest. Fuck you Suna.

"Never mind." Adelia unbuckles her seatbelt and puts her drink in the cupholder. "I'm gonna kick his ass now."

"Stop." I say with a blank face. "Let's just go home."

"Are you sure?" she puts her hand on my thigh and rubs it softly.

"Yeah. I'm tired."