Multi-fandom Oneshots

Alvin The Fucking Traitor

Alvin was an average chipmunk who lived in wherever the lorax is set. He loved the truffola trees and playing in them. But one day the Onceler moved in. He destroyed all of the truffola trees and Alvin was sad. He went to visit the Onceler to give him a piece of his mind. He knocked on the oncelers door angrily and demanded he open it. Alvin was ready to give the Onceler an epic burn, maybe tell him that he was from the rude store or something like that, but what he wasn't expecting was the door opening to show the most handsome man he had ever seen in his life.

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"Oh, some woodland animal? You've got the wrong house little man, the Lorax doesn't live here," the Onceler said barely hiding a melancholic tone. "At least, not anymore."

"You-!!!" Alvin began, but all he could do was feast his eyes on this sad, sad, green man. Pulling himself together, Alvin straightened his little chipmunk back and looked the Onceler with unearned defiance. "YOU RUDE MAN! STOP CUTTING DOWN TREES!

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the onceler was confused as to why this little creature with such a high pitched voice dared to oppose him. didn't he know who the onceler was? for god's sake he made thneeds! this creature needs to treat him with more respect, although the onceler doesn't mind having to tame one every once in a while. maybe this will create something interesting in his mundane life of deforestation. "well? I said you better stop cutting down the trees you freak!!!" screeched the chipmunk. "oh yeah? and why would I do that?" the onceler taunted back. "well.... well..... I could sing for you!" this intrigued the onceler. "go on....." alvin then sang E-girls are ruining my life by Mr. Husband flawlessly. the onceler was awed by his raw talent. "that was amazing!! you're a Mr. Husband fan too?!?!" alvin replied "OF COURSE!! who isn't? did you hear the Teenz Bop cover?" the onceler began to like this newcomer. "obviously I have, we made Teenz Bop brand thneeds once. do you want one?" alvin was super impressed "yes of course!!!" and the two walked into the onceler's factory, leaving the environment to get fucking wrecked.