Multi-fandom Oneshots

Kanato is Relatable??

Kanato slams the front door to the Sakamaki mansion as he returns from another hellish day of quadmester schooling. The bitchass school faculty wouldn't let him take Teddy to class with him. Grrr, he felt so angry! He was going to punch something! No, that was too much like his Kyle brother, Subaru. Kanato was cultured, he was going to STAB something.

"Teddy! I had an AWFUL day at English class. The three hour days are already inhumane for a vampire like me, what are they doing to those idiot human children?"

Teddy doesn't respond.

"I know! I hate it, and I'm not allowed to kill anyone! I just want to stab! Everyone in my class is a bitch and my teacher made us read The Rez Sisters out loud."

Teddy still doesn't respond.

"Kanato, you little shit, it's lunch time," Reiji calls from the hallway.

"If it's potatoes again, Teddy will wring your neck," Kanato yells back.

He picks up Teddy and takes him to the dining table. It's fucking potatoes. Again.

"Reiji you bastard! You made potatoes yesterday! I can't live without sweets, you are literally depriving me!" Kanato whines like a petulant child. Probably because he is one.

"You're not allowed to have candy until you finish your essay on The Crucible," Reiji says. "You teacher emailed me saying you haven't done any work. All you did for the nine hours of work time you were given was stare at your computer and watch Avatar."

"Fuck off!! Teddy is going to kill you in your sleep!" Kanato yells, and grabs a fork. He begins to repeatedly stab the potatoes, as they personally offended him.

Kanato flips the entire dinner table, sending potato flying everywhere. It ends up on the walls, the ceiling, Reiji's shirt. It's glorious.

He storms up the stairs to his room, also known as the gamer den. He turns on his computer to go check Discord, but an email notification pops up.

"Please get your discussion questions done by the end of the day, and don't forget to reply to two other classmates!" Is what it says.

Fuck!

Every bone in Kanato's body rejects the idea of doing work, but Reiji will continue to withhold his precious sweets until he does so.

"Teddy, this is so unfair! My teacher can't expect me to do three projects at the same time!"

Teddy doesn't respond.

Kanato sighs. "You're right, I can't live without my sweets. I know what to do, I'll get Yui to do my assignments!"

Kanato opens Discord and messages Yui.

"Yui, you're in my class right? DO MY CRUCIBLE DISCUSSION QUESTIONS OR ELSE I WILL TURN YOU INTO ONE OF MY SEX MANNIQUIENS"

He turns to Teddy and grins evilly. "Ah yes, Teddy I've done it! I no longer have to do my crucible discussion posts, and my English teacher will be none the wiser."

He gets a ping from Discord.

"Ok" Is all Yui replies with.

That's one assignment down. He absolutely refuses to read the rest of The Rez Sisters. Maybe he'll get Reiji to write a complaint to the school. His only task left is to do The Crucible essay. That shouldn't be so hard, right? He's written essays before, he knows about Point Proof Explanation.

Wrong.

Kanato checks the Brightspace lesson on the essay again. It says that they need three proofs per paragraph. What. The. Fuck. He hardly has a topic. There isn't enough time. He thinks about burning down the school, but then Reiji would never let him have his sweets again.

Sometimes, pain is worth it.

Kanato sits down for eight hours straight and writes the most incoherent, god-awful string of sentences that has ever been known to man. The sun is nearly up before he submits the assignment to dropbox, never to be seen again by vampiric eyes.

"I'm... I'm done. Teddy, I'm done!" He yells in elation.

He remembers that he needs to check his discord. Four hours ago, Yui sent discussion posts. Perfect. He posts them, then promptly closes all of his tabs.

Finally, he can have peace.