Multi-fandom Oneshots

The Sakamaki Family Goes On A Field Trip

Sensei Wui and the Sakamaki's get off single file from the bright yellow school bus. Driven by Reiji, of course. This time, their vehicle didn't fly into the air and combust. A first, for sure. The other students of the bus were playing E-Girls Are Ruining My Life Nightcore, before the vampire men started killing them and drinking their blood. All vampires are too cultured for Mr. Husband, and couldn't stand anything that wasn't Crazy Frog.

Before he can even get off the last step of the bus, Sensei Wui is accosted by Laito.

"Come on Bitch-chan, you're coming with me to see the sharks."

Sensei Wui makes several anime noises as he is dragged by the arm into Ripley's Aquarium in Toronto Ontario.

"W-where are you taking me?" He asks.

"The fucking sharks, are you deaf?"

Laito shoves Sensei Wui in front of an upright map. "Read this."

The map is incomprehensible. He tries to find the sharks, but the only thing the Aquarium seems to house are minecraft fish.

"Laito, they haven't added sharks to minecraft yet."

Laito growls, which makes Sensei Wui flinch. He can tell it turned Laito on. "That's cause you're dumb, Bitch-chan. I thought you knew how to read."

Before he can reply, Laito drags him once again. They walk all around the aquarium, which does indeed only house minecraft fish. Their little block eyes bore holes into Sensei Wui's black painted orbs.

After what seems like hours of walking around and around underwater hell, they finally come across the entrance to an exhibit only labeled "don't fucking go in here you'll get eaten by sharks bro".

"Finally! I'm going to see the sharks!!!!!" Laito yells excitedly. He pushes Sensi Wui in first, and walks into the exhibit behind him. All around them were sharks of differing varieties. Sensei Wui didn't know any of them, he didn't take that shark science elective in high school.

Laito runs up the stairs to where the top of the tank is exposed. "Hey Bitch-chan, watch this."

He jumps in the tank, splashing water all over Sensei Wui's robes. He watches as Laito goes to pet the shark, but before he can do so the shark in question bites on his arm.

"AAHHHH!" Laito screams as his head is tugged underwater.

"Laito!" Sensei Wui yells in concern, but doesn't do anything to help. He's like a typical otome game protagonist like that.

The other sharks surround Laito at the taste of vampire blood. It must be premium shit, way better than human blood, Sensei Wui bets, for them to crowd around like that.

As Laito is ripped limb to limb by hungry sharks, Sensei Wui realizes something. Laito never treated him right, calling him by derogatory names and not respecting his boundaries. He starts doing the gangnam style dance as he reaches enlightenment.

As the final shreds of Laito's consciousness fades, Sensei Wui catches his eye and strikes a pose.

"Who's the Bitch-chan now, Laito?"