Dave wrung his hands through his hair. It felt like it was falling out, he wasn't sure if it was the stress or the male pattern baldness. To the side of him was Ian. Yeah, that bitch, in his bouyant bird costume having a grand old fucking time being bald and a problem. And Dave was still no closer to finding his chipmunk children. He was getting too old for this.
"Y'know, it wouldn't kill you to let me just have a little nibble," Ian said.
"I thought you were asleep," Dave exclaimed. "And no, this necklace was made by my SON. What the fuck is making you crave uncooked soggy pasta?!"
Ian looked offended. "And you wouldn't?"
"No!!!" Dave looked at Ian like the balding man suggested they eat Alvin if they found them. WHEN they found them.
--------------------
"cmon Dave" Ian said sultrily, "just gimme one pasta morsel and ill leave you alone". Dave sighed. Why this bitch was so thirsty for uncooked pasta he will never know. Maybe being in that stupid bird costume effected his brain and made him crave uncooked nasty food like some dumb seagull. Or maybe his baldness effected his critical thinking skills. Dave doesnt know.
--------------------
dave snaped out of thought, Ian was approaching, staring at Daves neck with more intensity each step. He couldent take this creep any longer. he pulled a gun he was hiding in the sparse hair he had left and aimed to shoot Ian. he had no hope to escape this island any longer he might as well spend his last days in serenity. he shot but ian was suprisingly spry in his bird suit and doged, from behind ians moving form he saw his chipmunk son before it was too late. he was found but it was at a cost, his rodent son. as he wept over the mangled chipmunk body ian stood and said "i dont think their are laws against chipmunk violence and i wont pursue this in court if you let me make cipmunk alfredo"
YOU ARE READING
Multi-fandom Oneshots
FanfictionVarious oneshots of miscellaneous characters including smut, fluff, and angst. Includes your favorite characters. Do not steal.
