Chapter FORTY EIGHT

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Colt Knox

The darkness is tinted in a passionate pink glow as she crawls over my lap, dipping her delicate fingers into the glass mason-jar of honey she holds and bringing them to my lips.. 

"Go on, eat up baby.. MmmMmmm! You know you want it.." She coos, the amber syrup dripping from her fingertips as Mikki feeds the sticky sweetness to me, pushing her fingers into my mouth.. 

I suck on them eagerly and she giggles, smiling so heavenly bright that I know all of this can only be a dream.. Only if it is, I couldn't care less. 

Dreaming about her is all I've got now.. 

"Ooohh, such a greedy boy!" She laughs, tossing her head back and diffusing a soft strawberry scent as the delicate lines of her collar bone protrude, making me want to lean in and take a bite of her creamy softness..

The animal inside me is driven to devour her whole.. I want to taste her textures and submerge myself in her silk.. 

"Mikki, my sweetness.. I'm so sorry, baby.." I mumble uselessly.. "I love you, Sugar.. Fuck, I love you.."

She doesn't seem to hear me, or maybe she doesn't want to because she ignores my words, carrying on with her sensual tease, rocking her hips over mine, her breathy lust lulling me into a hypnosis.. "Close your eyes, Cowboy.. Trust me.." She whispers a saccharine promise warmly into my ear, her meadow-green eyes alight, fizzing with desire as she grinds against me.. 

Reluctant to take my gaze from her gorgeousness, I follow her command, allowing my eyelids to drift closed and blackness to swallow my vision, but as soon as I do I am somewhere else.. 

Somewhere dark and decaying, among the rotten roots I'd buried down deep in the landfill of my worst memories.. Somewhere I don't want to be, even though it is exactly where I belong.. 

Active Duty.. 

Smoke and soot swirl around the air, the miasmatic haze of the battlefield coming into view.. The fog of war and wails of fear permeate through everything, soaking into the hellscape.. Infantrymen line loyally behind their weapons in the dirt as lead exchanges fast and furious.. The warring roar of their gunfire an atrocious buzzing blur of whizzing projectiles.. 

Juliette's weary voice lingers somewhere in the far recesses of my mind.. "You promised me you wouldn't go back to this, Bear.. You promised.." The guilt of her sadness stings, but not as much as knowing that if I don’t keep going, if I can't support The Ranch, I’ll destroy her life even more.

Fuck me.. Do I really have to do this again?
Could I survive it again, considering the memory of it still haunts me whenever I close my eyes?

Is there even a choice?

The stuttering shock of machine guns firing relentlessly sounds out and a faceless Commanding Officer from so long ago that I have tried so hard to forget, swiftly reminds me that I am government property.. He shouts violent encouragement at me, reminding to get my shit together, snapping me out of my guilty reverie.. "The fuck are you doing, son! Are you a mama's boy or a MARINE!? Pick up that rifle!" 

Of all the things I can't do, my duty is not one of them… I am a Marine.. I will improvise..  I will adapt.. I will overcome.. Semper Fi! 

"SIR, YES SIR!" I shout, dropping to my knees as my hands sink into the mud to retrieve my weapon.. But it doesn't budge, stuck so deep in the thick, tar-like muck that it's like trying to pull a fabled sword from a stone.. 

All the while my CO continues to scream.. "We're pinned down, Gunny! There's no way out! You're on your own kid!" The blinding strike of a mortar ignites right by where he stands.. Blood and bits spray the scene as he is eviscerated to a patch of scorched earth before my eyes.. 

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