Redamancy

Lenna's POV. 4

Lenna

         I head out of my office around five to go straight to my apartment to change of clothes for my training, taking place in the fifth street, where I gather with few women for self-defense lessons.
      A new thing I've always wanted to be in since high school, after many encounters with disgusting men. Boys I would say.
      Immature boys.
    A few starting when I was twelve. A guy named Nick touching my hair when we came together in the school bus with other people. The fucking prick younger than me but taller, insisting in touching me. Meanwhile, I trembled within my insides, not being brave enough to scream at him.
       To hit him when I needed to.
     He just saw how uncomfortable I was and continued.
     He fucking continued, not caring at all.   
         I eventually stopped taking that bus, after that. But then a few others came. A guy touching my boob 'accidently' and laughing about it with his other friends cause I have small ones that he hadn't notice he was actually touching me there.
       The other insisting we should go to his room apartment meanwhile, he attempted to kiss me multiple times even though I pushed him.
     And so on. 
        The same experiences we all women get to live.
     The same harassment.
       The same anxious and hateful feeling.
     But what traumatized me more where not mine but from others.
      Sarah had a toxic relationship where her ex boyfriend obliged her to have sex with him even when she didn't want to and he wasn't able to stop.
      My other high school classmates narrating how their boyfriends cheated on them, but they were so blind to actually forgive them.
     So many similar stories that made me realize men didn't deserve women.
     But just like few corrupted others and made women be like them to corrupt other good men to turn the same. A sequence basically.
     Just like everything I heard.
     'Don't get married, you'll suffer.'
       'Focus on yourself, men are only a hobby.'
       'You'll have to go through a lot of heartbreaks until you find the one.'
       'Don't fall in love... is a waste of time. You'll regret it.'
       'That prince charming does not exist. Be realistic.'
     Overwhelming.
   Every single word told by women.
       The same ones that gave up and married for wealth. And the same ones that gave up and married as an obligation.  
    A commitment. A duty.
      But even though I had gone through it, making me feel hopeless of the good men that were left, I still carry with me the same illusion of finding that man for me.
      A good one. Someone I could be comfortable with cause even though I've become a really independent woman, I yearned that every once in a while a man came to take care of me.
       Perhaps some of us are not destined for it.
       "Class starting in five minutes, hurry!" My couch said as soon as I walked past him in the gym lobby.
      I nodded and flew towards the locker rooms, not before glancing many men training as well on the punching bags that hanged from the white ceiling with a soft orange light that made them look powerful.
       A few men groaned and fell harshly on the floor from the matches on the rectangular black carpets that were aligned in a long row. My gaze finally ended on others that trained with personal coaches on the corners, professionally. Not any amateur like.
       Opening the door, I quickly make my way into the beige locker rooms with grey looking couches in each corner.
    In matter of seconds I slipped into my black shirt, yoga pant, and lacing shoes. Grabbing my hair gracefully, I made myself a mid ponytail and finally hid my bag behind an unlocked small door.
      Sighing I ran outside and joined the other three women looking between their late twenties or early thirties. One already married, a waitress and bartender, and a blond girl that used to be homeless but seems like she's my coach's new girlfriend.
      Either way, they are all nice and pretty cool. And now that it's our third class of the week, we had gotten along pretty well. Their reasons of getting this self defense course differing with mine. Just like their personal lives.
        "Alright, let's start with a warmup—" He looks at us carefully. "And then a bit of tips and then you'll fight against each other. Two against two."
      We all nod synchronized and start mimicking everything he starts doing.
     Time passes by and my body turns shaky after the hard work.
         "He may be stronger than you, but you should get advantage of your seize. Be faster...be smarter than him, " Coach exclaims. "He abuses you in your house in front of your kids?! No. Fight for yourself." He glimpses at each one of us as we fight against each other. "He thinks he has the right to touch you whenever he wants to?! No."
       He pauses and looks at me. "He fucking looks at you like a vulnerable girl and takes advantage of it."
      I whine when the other chokes me from behind but I manage to get out of her hold by slamming my head on her face. "It's your life. Do not let him control you. Never."