Redamancy

Lenna's POV. 9

Lenna

My grip tightened in every stop we made, cause that meant he would probably say something which will only worsen the situation.
     It will only make me like him less. So, it should be me now doing the talking. At least to feel more relaxed and comfortable around him instead of the tensed and dramatic setting. Which I love of course, but I would like to know both ways. And know more with whom am I getting into.
         "Is your father a businessman too?"
     He quickly glances at me and nods. "Both of my parents are."
       I genuinely smile at that.
         "My dad operates the family businesses and my mom administrates the financial area."
        "Impressive, " I say with shocking eyes.
    I wait for him to go along with the conversation but when he doesn't I continue, disturbed.
         "Do you have a good relationship with them? I mean do you always call them? Visit them?"
        He tilts an eyebrow. "What do you think?"
         "I presume that you don't. You're the first one in the office and the last one to leave. And I've been told you never rest on holidays." I shrug as soon as he smiles at me. "Which means you probably despise to go home, and you probably make a lame excuse that you can't cause you're working."
         "You've known that in a short period of time? You've been stalking me, darling?"
         "Lenna, " I correct him, throwing him a glare.
     He laughs and the sound comforts me strangely. "And no, I'm not a stalker. I'm an observer."
      "What else do you know?" He continues with an amused look on his face as if he finds it fascinating that I know these few things about him.
Why do I even know this things? I think the answer is obvious.
        "Now that your parents are a business couple. Nothing else. Would you mind sharing more?" I finally say after dropping the fake reason of why I want to know him better.
        "If you know more about me you won't be scared anymore."
    His tone comes with the assurance that he wants to remain this mysterious with me and perhaps everyone else. As if he was scared that I might use that piece of information against him.  
         "I told you I'm not scared of you." I cross my arms to hide how nervous he makes me. "Why would I be scared?"
He sighs and grips tighter the wheel as I do with my bag. "You are scared of getting attached to me. That I might break your fragile and damaged heart."
I clench my jaw and look away with embarrassment at how clear and easy he can read me.
God, he doesn't even know me! How can he do that?
"And you think that being scared and annoyed by you instead of being comfortable and cared for would make me easily agree to have sex with you?" I snap.
"Yes, Lenna." He pauses and licks his lips. "The lovable memories are more hurtful than the regrettable ones."
"You for sure won't hurt me but traumatize me instead."
He laughs again at that and I half-smile, not resisting how his laugh makes me react.
Maybe it's true. I might be scared of him. Of what he can own and leave a mark on. Of what he can turn me into. Of what he could make me feel and never forget. And for sure not regret.
I clear my throat after spending a few minutes in silence. "You don't clearly seem scared of me."
Just of your future.
I thought.
"So, what are the odds of you already knowing everything about me?"
"I actually I do know everything about you, my love."
"Len—"
"Your dad is a doctor and your mom is a businesswoman. But she wasn't your impulse, but your small businesses to finally choose your career.
I know that you're about to go to your fourth year of college. You spend your time at a gym, the same one I surprisingly go to—" His eyes widen with lust.
Has he seen me before? All sweaty and aggressive?
"You have a few friends. You've trust issues."
I nod at that cause it leaves me impressed.
"You wear the same white Nike shoes every day, except on Fridays." He glances at me. "Those are the days you wear those sexy black heels that make you sore cause then you leave them at midday under your desk."
My jaw drops. Fear yet arousal expands through me making me fall speechless beside him.
I've only been working for him for a month! And he knows all of that? Sweet Jesus.
"How did I do?" He humorously says.
I blink a few times and swallow harshly. "You won. I'm finally scared."
"Good. Let's keep it that way."
I nod like a little girl, and look at the window this time.
Why don't I run? Why don't I leave this job and reject the offer right away? Stalking isn't good but I'm not a saint either.
Why does the idea of him watching me turns me on?!
Is he much of a psycho that he watches me sleep as well?
Dear lord.
We finally arrive at my house, and once he parks we remain in silence meanwhile, he keeps staring at me with leisure.
"How old are you exactly?" Those are the only words that come out of my mouth instead of saying the opposite.
"Twenty-eight, sweetie. Is that okay with your age limit?" He tilts his head and I roll my eyes a the 'sweetie'.
Cringe.
I get out of the car not before asking, "You won't kidnap me one of these days, right?"
He smiles. "You should be scared not freaked out. And no I'm not that insane."
I snigger at that. "Are you trying to admit that to yourself? Cause the more you keep saying it the less believable it is."
He winks at me and I finally close the door a bit to hard. I turn around and get into my building not before glancing behind me a few times just to check if he wasn't following me.
A bit part of me wanted to and the other feared that he did.
Once I closed the door, I sigh in relief and lay instantly in bed. My phone vibrates and I half smile when I see Dave's text.
'U alive? Is sex happening right now? Am I interrupting? Never mind enjoy!' (Plus a naughty emoji)
'I'm alive. And no, I didn't and I won't have sex with him.'
Will I?
My phone vibrates again making my forehead crease.
'You don't have to pretend with me. You need to get railed and you know that.'
I lock my phone and ignore all the tempted thoughts that are drowning me.
Maybe this feeling isn't real. Maybe I need a boyfriend.
I laugh at that.
Nah I'm just horny. Oh but I'm so lonely.
What if I do accomplish to not get feelings attached? Or make things awkward between us?
Maybe he will stop stalking me once I sleep with him. I should get this done and it'll be over. Easy.
But I don't want this to be over.
"Damn it."
He's right. I should use him as a sex toy.
Our sexual tension is inevitable. I should only seek for pleasure and nothing more.
"Please it's for sure that I'm going to be obsessed with him and I'll only get hurt."
And those fucking nicknames...I hate them all. Not even one makes me feel good about myself. I feel like another conquest.
One of his thousand conquests.
I do want him. But not as a challenge, a one-night stand, a bet, a way to prove myself that I can do this...but as a true partner.
Someone, I can feel safe and comfortable with. The same one I can laugh with, grow with, and be intimate with.
The same one I would risk to build things. An empire and a family.
Is that a lot to ask for?
Sighing I go and take a shower and change of clothes to finally catch some sleep.
I cover myself with the covers but once I close my eyes all I see is his smile. His beautiful and damned smile that unsettles me.
He knows he is the perfect dream guy.
Smart, young, attractive and of course with money. Who would reject that?
Oh I know me.
Am I being stupid? Ugh.
I open my eyes, and groan with irritation.
I count numbers to avoid thinking about him and that's when darkness takes over me.
And he conquers me too again. A nightmare but he's dressed like a daydream.
He hunts me but I run. Way too fast until he eventually catches me in his arms and I surrender. I tense at his thousands of nicknames he whispers in my ear. Each and every one hitting that one spot that makes me furious.
And to shut him up I'm the one to kiss him first. He eventually slows down, and whispers, "You know you want it, Lenna."
His lips find each of my weak spots. And his body perfectly fits into mine.
He laughs as the scene goes on and he makes me his. A laugh of triumph.
I wake up trembling and replenished of sweat all over my body. I'm out of breath and start freaking out.
'You're scared of me' his words echo in my mind that I feel he might be in here. Finding this amusing to watch.
"I'm."