Redamancy

Luke's POV. 20

Luke

   Never believed in love. And never think I will.
   Just like the way I never understood why I tattooed myself while being drunk, the word 'Redamancy' on my forearm.
'The act of loving in return'
Lovers I had plenty, but true redamancy, I always elude it.
No matter how alluring a woman looked by her bright smile, smooth skin, silky hair, attractive laugh, or long legs. I never saw beauty beyond that.
With every woman, I slept with, I treated them like the object they were inclined to be. Most of them had a lot of kinks and enjoyed it when I degraded them with insults that they yearned to hear.
Somehow those experiences made me think that's all what women wanted. Sex.
A man who leads them to that endless pleasure. A man who guides them to a point where a certain ecstasy moment is reached.
Some liked to be submissive.
Some liked to be in control.
Some liked to be degraded.
Some liked to be praised.
Some liked to be used.
And some liked to use.
Women were more or equally horny than men. They could also get addicted as men did. They could also use men as men did with them.
And when I found certain women like that, it made things easier.
There were was no attachment.
Yet a few caught feelings with time and wanted to be loved in return after having a lot sex with me.
Cause they knew sometimes love wasn't enough.
Money and good sex were also crucial.
And I could give both, except for one.
She was like them.
Lenna.
Just another girl that craves to be loved.
She was too naïve. Too young to actually understand that no man could give the three things.
She's like the rest. Or that's what I'm trying to believe.
She's way too innocent. And that makes me want to corrupt her.
I want to be her guiltiest sin.
I want her to reach my level of craziness.
I want to make her love me until she surrenders to me so, I can finally leave her.
She might hate me later for it, and probably cry because I broke her heart, but she will get stronger for her next relationship.
She will have not such high expectations like she used to. And she will not expect a lot in men from now on.
But it might be a challenge after her strict requirements.
It's a fair game. I give her a points for it.
She might be torturing me right now, but let's see who ends up suffering more at the end.
She might have gotten sick, and I might have taken care of her, but that's because I'm a civilized human being. I'm not a monster.
I did it because that's what I was supposed to do.
That isn't love.
It can't be love.
It is not love.
"Hi."
I glance at my office door, and see Lenna hold the door awkwardly. "Are you busy?"
Before I could answer she just came in after saying, "I hope not."
She hold a bag of food that smelled like Mexican tacos that made my stomach twirl. That's when I realized I had skipped lunch after the two meetings I scheduled at noon.
"What is this for?" I look at her confused and amazed at the same time.
"Well..." She sits across me and carefully moves my papers and laptop. "You didn't eat."
"You keep stalking me, shortcake?"
She crosses her arms defensively. "I thought you didn't mind me watching you." She tilts her head. "Scared that I can catch you doing something you are not supposed to be doing?"
I smirk.
Where is this cockiness coming from?
"Not at all," I finally say while my eyes take in the black skirt she is wearing along with her white nails and sneakers.
I lean back and cover my jaw with my hand, completely mesmerized by her long legs.
How would they look like around my waist?
She clears her throat, noticing where my attention is at.
"Anyways, I thought I could I return the favor. Since we are fake dating, and you took care of me once...I wanted to take care of you too."
She places four tacos in front of me with a lemonade cup beside it.
She eventually sits down and begins to eat her four tacos as well.
I remain still for a while, trying to process what is actually happening. I regard every move she does from biting, to chewing, cleaning her mouth, and finally taking a sip of her drink.
She looks around, and the way she sits so comfortable near me as if eating together is our routine, makes me feel strange in a way.
I don't know how to feel about it.
I was about to solicit my assistant to bring me food, but she, my fake date, took a step ahead.
"You don't want them? Cause I have space for another four tacos."
I fight a smile and try my best to remain serious.
"Go on," she insists. "Eat."
"Your way, huh?"
She's enjoying this too much.
"You want me to feed you?"
"Would you?" I ask excitedly.
She rolls her eyes and that's when I begin to eat as well.
We remain silent until we both finish even our drinks. I wanted to eat the slowest I could just to keep her here. But I was too damn hungry to do it.
"They were good," I finally say.
"Really good."
We lock eyes, and for the first time, I feel relaxed.
I had forgotten the issues of the meeting, the lots of work I had to do, the time, and even what she wore.
I forgot about everything. How is that possible?
"Oh." She jumps and turns sideways to check the white untouched bag. "Hope you have space for dessert."
Suddenly she takes out small white balls and places five in a napkin for me.
"Almond snowballs." She proudly smiles. "Gluten-free."
"You bought them?" I curiously ask aware that she had probably done them herself.
"Nope." She leans on the table. "They are home-baked. I always do them for Christmas."
"What's the special occasion then?"
I grab one.
"Cravings I guess."
Once I fully placed it on my mouth. She observed me with wonder.
My mouth melted at the powdered sugar and I fucking even moaned once I began to chew and taste the almonds.
"Really good, huh?"
I nodded with a full mouth like a kid did when they were fed. I didn't even want to speak because I wanted to keep savoring every second of it.
She laughed at my reaction and ate one as well.
Suddenly she straightened, and grabbed the trash bags on her own. I was left speechless that I didn't even know what to say.
"Thank you, Lenna," I quickly say before she opened the door to leave.
"You're welcomed." She smiles. "See you later Boss."