Redamancy

Chapter 32

Luke

    The next day I came late to work.
   My whole body felt anguished. 
      And it was noticeable to everyone. My tie was crooked, my hair was messy, and I didn't even got time to pick a new suit.
      I just wore the same one as yesterday.
     "Sorry to say it but you look miserable," Susan followed behind.
     "Good to know."
  I fixed my tie as I walked into my office but something in my desk caught my eye.
     The car keys, the necklace and the credit card I had given to her.
    She came here.
    "Do you feel sick?" She continued, her high heels echoing in the room.
  I shook my head and clenched my jaw as I grabbed the jewelry box in my hand.
      "Maybe I should cancel the meetings scheduled and—"
      "No." I turned around to face her. "Make my day full of meetings. I'll work til late."
     She tilted her eyebrow but did not say another thing. Opening her agenda, she began telling everything planned for the day.
       I tried to focus but my mind shifted to yesterday's night.
     And even though I was left alone later, or hours had passed by, I escaped my own reality to those moments with her.
      I visited her empty office and sat there to work instead when everyone had left. But to my surprise, someone watched me from afar.
      Quickly glancing to my side, my mom sat there in the lounge waiting until I decided to join her side.
      "You look tired," she simply said once I took a seat in front of her.
      "Well, I have nothing better to do than to work."
     I rubbed my temple, silence taking over.
       "You never came to the event. Why?" My mom spoke again after she fixed her blue dress and gave her full attention to me for the first time in her life.
     "Lenna and I—"
   The words slipped way too easily that she noticed how much I regretted saying them.
       "Lenna and I were busy," I finally say, attempting to sound as if everything between us was normal.
       "Oh yeah, your future wife. I'm surprised that you included her in your decision. Was she the one who convinced you to not go?"
     I smiled maliciously. "Of course." I tilt my head. "You hate her already?"
        She rolled her eyes and began to fix her hair. "Not at all. If she makes you happy—" She shrugs. "—It makes me happy."
       "You father said that you are marrying her once she graduates from college, is that true?" Her tone came out bitterly but she waited for my own words so she could truly believe the rumor.
        "I am."
     I uncrossed my legs and focused on my mother's reaction which was wonderful to see.
        "Really?" She dryly said. 
     I covered my smile with my fist and regarded her with amusement.
        "Have you met her family already?" 
      "I'll meet them soon," I assured.
       "Is that what she said or you said?" She tilted her head and tried to figure out if I was lying about all of this.
     But she never spent enough time with me to know when I lie or do not lie.
         "We both agreed."
     Finally, she straightened and nodded. "Alright then." She lifted her apple watch and pretended to see an important message just to hide her rage towards me. "Got to go. Your father is waiting for me in the car."
       "Too busy to come and say hi?" I resentfully say.
       "Stop pretending that you are care. You've proven that you don't give a shit when we come to visit you."
     Coldness giving away in the look of her eyes and words that she threw against me.
        "Maybe you should stop doing it then."
     My chest tightened and it hurt to know why she came for.
      It hurt to know how little did she care about me. After all these fucking years.
     "We will stop coming until you stop embarrassing us. We care for our appearance, Luke. And you give the opposite impression to everyone." She shakes her head. "Mature and settle for someone at our level."
     With that, she left and got into the elevator on her own, leaving me speechless at her last words.
        

   It hurt to recognize that I was raised by narcissistic people. Reckless to their own son. And Perfect to a certain society.
  

   It hurt to know that she was the only one who changed the way I perceived life.

   It fucking hurt.