Redamancy

Luke's POV. 17

Luke

She slept beside me unaware that she had fallen asleep in my desk when eleven hit the night.
      I carried her to my car not able to wake her up cause I blamed myself after obligating her to stay.
      Why? I have no idea.
     In the beginning, it was all game. A good-looking girl that I wanted to sleep with, nothing more. To fuck.
     Like I did with every single woman.
         They all agreed with no hesitation, except for her.
        I must admit I was a man with particular tastes. Always slept with women with wide curves and big tits.
    Most fake bodies. I could see it through their scars. They were all plastic.
       But when I saw Lenna for the first time at her college, she looked beautiful.
      A pretty face and nothing more.
     Yes, her body was small compared to others. But it looked real. Naturally beautiful from the slight view I got.
      Even her smile.
   Her fucking smile was perfect. It brightened all her features easily, making her the most attractive person in the room.
     Especially that night when we kissed. She smiled cause she knew she wanted something she was going to regret later.
      The kiss felt good but way too short.
    Although she left me alone, her taste felt bitter in my mouth. Yet I wanted more.
       I might have done a little push for her to come here for our internship program, and when I saw her walking through the halls, it didn't feel real.
       None of it. Not even what I felt.
    Lust? Yes.
       I had gotten a taste from her and I wanted more. But never thought I wanted to know her more after what I caused.
     When she slipped under my sheet covers, I ignored the need to admire her body like I wanted to cause I had only one thing in mind.
      End my need for her once I used her.
    Cause that's what I wanted.
        Use her until she was left with nothing more to give.
     Why? Cause I'm a fucking selfish and rich asshole that can have anything he wants.
      And in a world where I had experienced everything at a young age, I felt bored.
       Until her.
     She was going to be my new toy. My new entertainment.
       But as soon as I made my research and got deeper into her personal life I realized how much she yearned for a life like mine.
      When I despised it. She craved for it.
      She craved success. Credibility. Safety.
   Everything that I have and I was willing to give in exchange for the only thing she wasn't willing to grant.
       Not if she wasn't in love.
     Which I though it was stupid.
         That's why I'm still trying cause with time she'll give in.
      She might fool herself thinking I'm in love when in reality I just one thing from her: peace.
      I need peace in my mind cause all I have is her. The idea of her in my bed.
           Love has nothing to do.
        The idea of love pushed me off. There's no time for me to let a woman inside my comfort zone.
Their bodies and hearts are fake.
      I reminded myself.
      Love was a lie.
         Right?

    'I bore a flame that burned a thousand suns for you but it died

Told you I could never love somebody else but I lied...'

     The song echoed in the car and Lenna shifted in her seat.
      She hugged herself and a feeling of protectiveness intensified in my chest.
It's just your obsession with her. It's not love.
     I looked away and my grip tightened.
The nicknames are just for fun. It's not love.
   I clenched my jaw.
The way you want to help her is just pity. It's not love.
 
     'I made a vow to stand beside you 'til the day that I die

Told you I could never live without your love but I lied...'

Once you take what you need, you'll stop to think about her. It's just a temporary feeling like the rest caused.

     It's not love.

—————————————————

    "Where are we?" She asks in a sleepy voice.
   "Your place," I say as I help her get out of the car carefully.
     Her cold palm against mine.
      "Oh." She closed the door and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, heat rising on her cheeks. "When did I sleep?"
      I took a step back giving her the space I promised. But regretted giving.
         "You passed out at eleven."
      She began taking a few steps toward her building. I followed her with the distance promised.
         "Was I drooling?" She asked in a humorous tone.
         "Yeah you left a whole lake behind."
     She smiles, and I look away to avoid all my thoughts.
         "Sorry Boss. Won't happen again."
I doubt that.
        "Oh my God!" She jumped in realization. "Eleven? I forgot to text Jacob and..."
        "Don't worry. I sent him a text saying you were busy. He hadn't even left his place when he replied back."
       No way I'm letting that fucker near her. I want to have her first.
      He can have the left overs later.
          "You did?"
      I gave her a sharp nod.
          She remained silent lost her in thoughts. I observed her curiously wondering if she was going to let me go inside but nothing spilled out of her mouth.
       She just walked away and waved at me once inside.
      I saw how she disappeared and I sighed in disappointment.
This will take time.
      And money.

  Let's see how you give in with gifts, Lenna.