Lenna
I don't know why I kept checking my inbox.
I didn't understand why my pulse quicken every time I used the elevator.
Or gasped when a car slowed down near me.
Every hope in me was loosing up. And I hated the curse I had.
I hated that I always gave something to people that didn't deserve it. Even if it was a slight reaction of mine.
He just wanted to fuck you. He made that clear since the beginning Lenna.
Ugh.
He didn't even have my expectations. Well...
Yeah, he is good-looking and a hard-working man. Or maybe his sarcasm, confidence, or irritating attitude somehow got me over my heels.
But, he wasn't romantic. God, does he even know what romance is?
He couldn't care less of women's emotions. I mean why would he have to?
He's young. Rich. Smart. Fucking hot.
He can have any woman he wants without even trying.
Look at me.
Proof that he succeeded. He convinced me easily and I fell for it. Another naïve girl that thinks he'll settle for me.
He may have had my body and mind, but never my heart or soul.
I sighed as soon as a took a sip of water from my water bottle. It only took me two steps to bump into Cindy, who smiled mischievously at me.
"Hey, are you—"
"You look different," she interrupts me.
Her eyes scan my whole body, and there was a hint of disgust and bitterness that formed in her face.
"What do you mean?"
"You look like you got laid."
What?!
"Uh no. This is how someone looks when they haven't slept well during the last few days. Thanks for calling out that I look like shit," I humor, but she doesn't laugh at all.
My body freezes as soon as she takes a step towards me until she leans, "Let me be clear on something."
She smiles fakely and continues by saying, "You're not the first who sleeps with boss for a better salary or position. Many of these women have. Not me. And that's what differentiates me from all of you whores. I've worked hard, and you don't know-how what has taken me to get this far."
I tense and watched her eye-widened.
"If you ever take my place or win more money than I do, I'll take you down, Lenna. I may not have a young and curvy body, but in this world you survive with this—" She points her head. "Not by spreading your legs."
I swallow harshly, eyeing her speechless from where I stood.
I didn't even sleep with him and now I was getting called a whore.
"No wonder why you got chosen for the trip." She laughs bitterly. "Apparently Boss needs entertainment."
She takes a few steps back and before she leaves she yells that I need to send her the check-up list for the event.
Her heels echo on the marble floor, and as soon as she disappears into the corner I breathe normally.
I look around and notice a few stares on me, all of them curious probably because the scene was more interesting than what they were doing.
After scanning my surrounding, I search for Dave which I gladly find in the lunch room.
"What's with the horror face?"
He takes a bite from his fancy steak while he stares at me confused yet amused.
I never told Dave what was happening between Luke and me, never thought it would become too serious even though he suspected it.
I was going to tell him everything after I had sex with him, but now I hated that I hadn't told him before.
Taking a seat in front of him, the words slipped with guilt. I told him about the kiss at the disco, the way he corned me, helped me in the local selling, and the way I felt about all those moments with him.
Once I finished breathless, I waited for his concern but he only laughed.
"Told you!" He smiled. "I knew you were hiding something from me!"
"So? Did you have sex with him?!" He whispered with excitement.
I rolled my eyes and shook my head.
"I couldn't. I got scared...I didn't felt comfortable. It...it felt like I was giving myself to a stranger."
"It's okay Lenna. You'll do it when you're ready." He grabbed my hand and squeezed it. "Just remember that if you ever get the chance again to choose...choose him. At least he won't brag about it to his friends like some of the guys at college do."
I furrow my eyebrows. "I don't plan on giving it to any man at my college. No way that'll happen." I cross my arms in front of my chest, in disbelief. "I just want it to be special, Dave. Lovemaking not fucking." I smile. "At least not yet."
He mimics my posture. "You remind me of my uncle."
I tilt an eyebrow.
"She never settled for an average dude."
He takes another bite.
"And what happened to her?"
"She never married and died alone."
My jaw drops in horridness, making him laugh again.
"I'm joking. Relax." He pauses and gives me a comforting look. "I actually respect your decision, Lenna. It's admirable."
I shrug with uncertainty and he continues. "It's okay to want him. You have hormones woman. You need to please yourself and I don't blame you neither should that bitch. Bet that she has thrown herself towards him at least once too."
I roll my eyes, but a smile rises on my face.
"Maybe I shouldn't go on the trip, it'll only cause me more trouble."
"What?!"
"Dave I can't be near him. God knows what I could do. I can't even think clearly."
"I mean who could? He's hot and intimidating. He might leave any woman stuttering." He pauses and tilts his head. "But still is not a reason for you to not go and enjoy yourself."
Enjoy myself? I doubt that.
I'll simply be uncomfortable with Cindy beside me and throwing it all over me when the times comes. And even though I might not see Luke there like I do in the office, I'll spend those liberating moments wishing I could be near him.
Not enjoyable.
After spending a few more minutes with Dave, a weight lifting in my chest, I returned to the office just to find a new email in my inbox.
My palms began to sweat in anticipation but as soon as I see Cindy's name, I let out a loud sigh of disappointment.
Checking and typing a new bunch of emails, I don't realize the time until Dave knocks on my door. We walk side by side, talking all over my fourth coming year in college and how Dave plans to live the 'crazy life' on the trip.
Describing it in three words: sex, alcohol, and tan.
A laugh slips from my lips before it fades when the elevator doors open and I lock eyes with him.
My body tenses and I quickly look away.
This time I felt relief when we were not the only ones in the elevator. Two more guys and a girl named Elizabeth are here too.
Dave noticed and gave me a side look meanwhile, he kept talking as if seeing him wasn't that important. I kept my gaze on the door, but I felt his hot gaze on my cheek.
There was a need in me to turn and look at him. A need to hear him call me another nickname that he knows I'll hate.
A need to walk towards him just to have him near and be able to smell his scent. Or maybe just to feel how intimidating, tall, and strong he is beside me.
Will his breath smell like whiskey? Maybe mint.
Suddenly we come to stop on a new floor and Jacob walks in after the others leave.
He smiles at us but goes to stand beside Luke, with whom he begins to have a small chat. I try to get as well into a conversation with Dave to distract myself but when I hear Ivan calling my name, my face turns red.
"Hold on—" He says to Luke before he continues to talk to me. "Lenna, are you free tomorrow? We can make up the last coffee we talked about."
I open my mouth to answer back but another voice takes over.
"She can't. She's busy."
I look at him stunned.
What the hell?
"What about Thursday?" Jacob insists.
"Social event," Luke continues making Jacob clench his jaw in annoyance.
"Next week?"
This time I'm quick enough to answer before he does.
"Actually why don't we go now?" I smile at him.
Luke looks at me with cold eyes. And I can feel his judgment and disapproval.
And a new feeling settles in me.
Why does he care?
"Yeah, I'm free right now," He says as he glances at his wrist watch meanwhile, Luke and I still stare at each other.
"Will you go home and change so we can meet there or do you want me to pick you up?"
I furrow my eyebrows. "You don't like how I look?" I say in a disturbed tone.
"No...no no I didn't mean it that way," he says defensively. "You look nice and all but...this is like a date, right? Shouldn't we look formal?" He pauses and rephrases. "Sorry, Lenna. What I mean...I want to freshen up for you."
When I said coffee I mean it as friendly. Not a date. And I don't see Ivan as something else, but seeing how furious and disturbed Luke is now I'll go.
"Umm...sure," I say in a high tone, unsure of my decision. "I'll see you there then."
The door opens and he nods at me with a smile before he leaves.
I half-smile and glance at Dave who mouths, "Don't go."
He begins to walk away and I follow but then a hand grabs my arm and pulls me again into the elevator.
"What the hell Luke?"
He presses a button and the elevator begins to move upwards.
"You can't go. You have work to do."
"What? I don't have any!"
He glances at me and simply says, "Well now you do."
The doors open and when he sees I don't move, he bents down and slides his hand on my leg and back to carry me outside.
"Put me down now!" I demand. "I'm tired. I want to go home."
"You're not tired enough to not go to 'your date' right, pumpkin?"
I fight a smile.
"Lenna," I slowly say. "And no. I have a little energy left to give but not to you."
"So to him? Not to your boss?" He tilts an eyebrow with amusement.
"Yes."
"That also reminds me that you are my boss. You can't carry me like this—"
Suddenly he throws me in his arm making me gasp at the sudden move. My ass next to his face now.
"How about like this?"
His hands travel on my bare legs and I curse myself for wearing black tights and a skirt.
I remain silent to focus on his warm touch. And firm hands.
My legs squeeze and I grab his suit jacket from behind to steady myself. But he only grabs me tighter causing a wet and warm reaction between my legs.
Oh God.
We haven't spoken or even seen each other since I made my walk of shame. And now we acting as if nothing happened. As if the deal is still in place.
When we get to his office I tense. He gently places me to my feet and observes me as I lower my skirt.
"I was clear with what I said. I'm not sleeping with you, Mr. Huxley."
I don't know why I said so directly but I knew his intention and his amazing skill at seducing. This has to stop.
But why don't I want to?
"I know."
My heart slips.
He turns around and makes a lot of distance between us.
"We made ourselves clear in that. And I won't bother you anymore."
"You won't?" I take a step forward, unaware of what I'm doing.
He leans on his table looking at me with his arms crossed.
"That's what you said and I'm a man of word." His gaze turns darker. "I won't get near you anymore and I won't touch you anymore."
"You won't?" I say in disbelief making him smile.
Suddenly I realize how I'm sounding like.
"Yes, understood," I clear myself.
Disappointment settles in me too. And there's a hint of regret in me.
No Lenna. Focus.
He must deserve you. Not loathe you.
"So, what am I actually doing here?"
He pauses and his eyes travel up until down my body making me feel small yet powerful.
"I'm going to make you work so fucking hard until you get exhausted and worn."
I suck harsh breath and the way he said it made my legs tremble.
"And then, only then, you can leave for your date."
I swallow harshly. "Will I get paid?"
"Every cent," he says in a lower voice.
I lick my lips and wonder, why am I agreeing to this? Why don't I fight against him?
He promised he wasn't going to get near me and that's a relief cause things can build up and I fear of not rejecting him twice.
I walk forward with a playful smile until I sit in his comfortable chair near his large and expensive desk. I fold my hands and watch him.
"Alright boss. Try me."
He darkly smiles.
.
YOU ARE READING
Redamancy
Romance"Not being able to fall in love even though you want it so bad." Lenna's life in college is almost finishing and she hoped for one thing in her life: Success. But who said success didn't include having a growing relationship. A healthy, passionate...
