Redamancy

Luke's POV. 23

Luke

     We left early the next morning after Susan called to remind me for Saturday's meeting. One that I could not bypass due to its importance.
      A few investments I shall decide.
    Although I sat for hours pretending to be listening, I shifted to last night's moment. The way we hugged for too long. Her body against mine way too perfectly. How she laughed while she hid her face. How smooth her hair felt.
     God, her fragrance was still etched in me.
What is wrong with me?
       Why can't I stop thinking of her?
  Shit.
       "Good meeting everyone. We will see each other again next week."
      All men stood at the same time and eventually left after exchanging a few thoughts between them.
I remained seated and thoughtful until one of them approached me.
Sam, Assigned in the operational system of the company. A few years older than me but one of the rare people I could stand.
Very cautious in what he said. Or maybe one of the least normal people I could interact with.
No hair. Money. Divorced. Four children.
For a fifty-two-year-old man, he looked satisfied with that lonely life that he has.
"Heard the convention was a success last night. Anything interesting that happened?"
I straightened and regarded him with intrusive thoughts.
"Met a girl last night."
A smirk surged in his face and he began mocking me with his eyebrows
"Blonde? Big tits?"
I shake my head. "Beautiful smile. Amazing personality."
"Woah. That's new." He smiled and crossed his arms, interested in more details. "Is she good in bed at least?"
I got closer and returned his smile. "That's none of your fucking business."
He adjusted his tie and laughed it off. Too scared of pushing the topic forward. "Relax bud. You are not in good mood, I can see that already." He sighs and walks towards my side.
"Actually we are going to the nightclub if you want to join us."
He pats my shoulder while his voice dramatically changes to a horny one. "Maria will be there."
No wonder why he got divorced twice.
The guy spent a lot of time with hookers.
"Not interested." I pat his shoulder back and begin to walk away.
But he quickly ran and kept my pace. "Well, I didn't to get turned down. What about next week?"
"I got plans already."
He shakes his head in doubt. "No way."
We turn around the corner and joined the others in the elevator just in time. They fell silent once I stepped in, except for Sam who continued rambling none sense.
         "We work a lot. We deserve to...to release all this stress we've been dealing with. Come on, you won't regret it." He continued with a humorous sound.
     Why couldn't he shut up?
       "Come on, Luke. You are young, and you must enjoy life while you can. Right guys?" He looks at the others and chuckles. 
Sighing I turned to look at him with sadistic eyes and finally said, "You're pissing me off Sam. Why don't you keep your dick out of sight? You did a favor to your wife. Why not return the same favor to those poor whores that cannot stand to have an old guy inside of them. Mmm?"
The others tried not to laugh while Sam tried so hard not to look offended. Nonetheless, his face gave away everything he felt.
Resentment. Bitterness.
Suddenly the doors opened and I left without anything else to say.
My patience today could not be tested. And all I wanted was one thing.
      Raising my wrist, I checked the time and drove to the best flower shop I knew in the city. It took me one hour to finally arrive at her place with ten men behind me.
       I knocked at her door and as soon as she did, she reddens for one of the two reasons: she was embarrassed cause she was covered in flour or eleven men regarding her at the same time.
     All of us holding different flowers
      "Luke? What is this?" She took a step while she tried to clean her clothes.
      "An apology."
     I nod at the men and they begin to walk inside.  She takes a step back and watches them with widened eyes, place the ten vases and bouquets on her apartment.
      All of them from different colors. All of them styled in a different way. All of them combined in every possible way.
      All of them for her.
    They were all placed in her living room and once they were done, the men excused themselves. Not before Lenna smiled and thanked each one of them.
      Once we were left alone I remained outside, waiting to be allowed to come and join her inside. She was still giving me her back side, so I just patiently waited.
     I noticed how her breathing changed. It became shorter and paused.
       "I'm an arrogant asshole who deserves to be slapped again," I admit, trying to release any tension between us. "I know you hate me and I know I should have kept my word. I'm truly sorry, Lenna."
       She doesn't move. She just continues to observe the flowers placed on different spots.
        "I don't know which flower you like so, I bought them all," I continue, trying to make her look at me.
I think she doesn't like them. Should I have given her more? Is it not enough?
"Are you too busy? I can...leave—"
Unexpectedly, she shook her head. "Wait there. I'll be back."
She left with nothing else to say.
She probably hates them. Fucking great.
This is why I don't do these things.
I stood there, hating the feeling of caring. I tried to calm myself and not to reflect any emotion that she caused me.
When she came back, she looked at me shyly. Her face beautifully blushed already. Especially her nose. The redness in it standing out.
"Would you like to come inside?"
I gave her a sharp nod and made my way in.
Warmth and a sweet smell greeted me.
"What are you baking?" Placing my hands on my pant pocket, I slightly turned around to look at her.
"I was...I was actually baking your almond snowballs." She tugged a lock of hair behind her ear and strolled past me. "I promised you these and...and I was going to leave them at your office."
My heart skipped a beat.
What the fuck was that.
I clenched my jaw. "Took you by surprise then."
She smiled. "Yeah."
"Can I—" I pointed at the chair as a way to ask if I could seat, for no fucking reason.
Why the fuck am I being so nervous around her?
"Yes, yes." She nodded quickly. "You don't have to ask my permission for that Luke. Make yourself at home." She turned around to focus on her baking, and thank God she did cause those words made something to me. 'Home.'
My reaction was too obvious.
"Do you have plans for tonight?"
She turned her head towards me and pressed a hand to her chest. "Umm—no."
She cleared her throat and focused on the balls she powdered. "I was actually going to order food. Baking desserts leaves me exhausted."
"What are you craving for?"
She sighs. "Honestly, a giant burger with fries."
"I can buy you—"
Suddenly she looks at me with thoughtful eyes and that's when it hits me.
"Fuck you can't eat that."
She agrees by nodding. "Yeah, my life is sad."
"I'm still learning how to do those burger bread. Not the best recipe at the moment." She shrugs. "I was going to order Soup."
I look around her kitchen and I glance at the pasta that sat near her refrigerator.
"You have gluten-free pasta. I can make us some," I offer and she stiffens.
"You can cook?"
I nod and began to take my jack suit off.
"Don't you have people that cook for you?"
I roll my sleeves up and she regards me with the same eye-fucking gaze she hates I do.
"Cooking is a basic life skill, Lenna." I move towards the pasta and begin looking for the tools I need. "I spent a lot of time with my parent's staff. They taught me a lot of recipes that you'll be surprised I know of." I look at her. "Like those almond snowballs."
Her jaw drops. "Really?"
"Yeah, but pastry is not my thing."
"Usual food is not my thing," she admits while crossing her arms.
A smile crosses my face."Good. I'll be the one doing the food and you'll be the one doing the dessert then."
"A balanced fake relationship. I like that."
We smile again at the same time.
How can my cheeks hurt so much from smiling?
"Real Relationships gotta be 50/50 right?"I add while we both continue doing whatever we are supposed to be doing.
"Not always."
I walk towards the stove while listening to her closely.
"Sometimes it will be 80/20. Or 45/55. And that's because some days one will struggle, and the other has to suck it up and give the rest that is missing." She carefully grabs my hand and places a small snowball in the middle. "That's love. That's a real relationship."
She looks away from my gaze and begins to decorate the rest snowballs there are left.
My gaze remained in the snowball while I tried to process what she had said.
"How can you know so much about love when you haven't even dated someone?"
Lifting her hand she rubbed the back of her neck. "Well...I guess I've known or experienced love in different ways. And I've developed an idea of how it should be like."
My eyes focus on the way she undid her hairstyle and began doing it again, while I stirred the red sauce.
"And how should it be like?"
She moves her hair to one of her shoulders and remains speechless for an instant. "Powerful. Painful—" She slightly looks at me. "Thoughtful."
We lock eyes for a moment and that same old feeling burns through my chest.
Way too good.
Way too intense.
Way too different.
Was it lust or love?
Desire must be.
Can't and it is not love.
She's the first to look away and finally says, "Done with these."
My grip on the spoon tightens while my body senses her move behind me.
"I'll go and take a shower meanwhile, you finish."
My dirty thoughts sink in and a new feeling of guilt crashes within me.
She is not even naked and she already makes me react this way.
"You sure you can find the things you need on your own?"
I turn around to face her. "I'm pretty sure I can find things easily. Don't worry about me, muffin." I smile sarcastically and she just rolls her eyes.
"It's Lenna," she said meanwhile, she walked towards her room.
"Whatever you say, fine wine."
She closed her door not before repeating her name.
I regarded the door for a long time until I realized the spaghettis were ready.
It was all move. From adding flavor to the sauce to dumping the pasta and mixing properly.
Ten minutes passed by and I began serving after it took me four endless minutes to find the dining plates.
I even grew annoyed when looking at the fucking forks, glass cups, and napkins. It was a lot of challenge I wouldn't take a size up to.
As soon as I was about to pour us wine that I gladly found on one of her shelves, the lights went off.
"You gotta be kidding me."
The whole place was really dark that It was impossible to locate my phone at the desk. I continued searching until I heard her scream.
"Lenna?"
My worry for her surged and I quickly tried to find her room. After a couple of seconds, I found her door and opened it.
"Luke! I need help."
I moved towards her voice until I found the door handle. Once I entered, It was a lot darker than before.
"I'm here."
I moved around until she spoke again, "I can't fucking see anything," she complained.
"You are inside the bathtub?" I followed her voice this time.
"Yes! Can you hurry?! I'm shivering here."
"You want me to hit myself with something?!" I sighed in annoyance.
"Hand me the towel first!" She said once I got near her.
"Wait, so you are naked?"
Fuck. Did I say that out loud?
"No Luke. I was taking a bath with my fucking clothes on."
"What's with the attitude?" I finally said already sure I was in front of her. I lowered myself and realized the bathtub was higher than expected. "Alright, give me your hand—"
"No. Give me the towel first."
"Lenna. How am I going to fucking find the towel with the lights off?!"
A smile appeared in my face, and I felt relief knowing she couldn't see how much I was enjoying this.
"I don't fucking know! You know what, I'll do it myself—"
"Just give me your hand—"
"—I'll just—"
Suddenly a loud slippery sound echoed and she felt right into my arms. She loudly gasped as soon as her wet body slammed into mine. My hands instantly fell into her back and thigh to secure her against me. An inch high and I could touch her bare ass.
Her nipples burned into my chest just like her smooth cheek did with my neck. Her arms around my neck tightened as she tried to hold herself together.
Our breathing changed with each minute and even though I could not see her at all, this unraveled the darkest side of me.
Her body against mine felt luscious. And the drops of water increased that desire in me. My shirt began soaking and all I could feel was her loud beating heart along with mine.
     I slowly lowered her down for my own good, and her thigh finally drifted off my hand.
     "Are you okay?" I deeply said, taking my hands off of her while she still remained against me.
   Fuck. I need to get away from her. Now.
         "Yes, thank you," she said breathlessly, gripping my shirt with one of her hands.
         "I'll wait for you at the kitchen," I suggested even though I yearned to stay here.
        "Okay."
     With both of my hands, raised at my sides, I waited.
    Waited until she stepped away and took distance between us, but she never did. Her grip got tighter pulling me closer, and that's when I realized she was starting to lose control.
         For the first time, she couldn't resist anymore. And neither do I.
      Her hand traveled through my face, trying to find something she craved for. Her delicate fingers found my lips, and began tracing them gently until she rose to her feet and slammed her lips against mine. We both breathed in relief, a feeling we both hid in our deepest and hidden side.
  Creating an unbreakable bond and a unique connection. I pulled her closer with my hand on her neck, to explore her completely.
     I guided her.
   A gentle kiss let in comfort and consolation between us.
     She tasted sweet. As if she was the only dessert I'll crave for always.
      Suddenly she pushed me carefully until I hit a wall behind me. Our breathing was quicker as soon as our kiss took a different direction.
      She moaned against my mouth and the sound unraveled the beast within me. I turned around and pushed her against the wall.
      Both of wanting more.
    Needing more.
        I pulled back and began kissing her neck. Sucking different spots until I found her weak spot. She struggled and fought against herself to not moan. Soft Whimpers leaving her mouth instead.
      The sound brought me to my edge. I had to stop those sounds before they lead to something else.
     I brought my lips to hers and her hands made their own way to my hair. Pulling so I could stop, but caressing so I wouldn't.
      Mixed signals getting along the way. Lifting my knee between her bare legs, I pulled her closer, another moan escaping her mouth way too easily.
       Her body was against mine, and the only barrier between us were my clothes.
      I could have easily taken her here, but deeply I wanted to take things slow.
     I wanted to play.
     Give her a taste of what it actually felt like until she came asking for more.
     I needed her to give in to the minor things I'll let her experience.
   She had to unravel the beast within her. She has to become crazier than I me.
     And I'll gladly take my time to do it.
     I pulled away and tried to focus.
   We were both breathless and shocked by what we did. I knew it because neither of us moved.
   She froze in my arms and after a few seconds, she started backing away.
      Realization hit her and I knew she was embarrassed by the way she started it and the way that I finished it.
      I could not sense or know where she was, she had taken a lot of distance already.
     "Oh my God," She whispered way to softly that I almost missed it.
     "I'll go and check the food."
     Check the food? Really? That's the best I could think of?
    She didn't answer back but I knew if I stayed longer it would have gotten worse.
      I managed to move and walk away as fast as I could. The same feeling in my chest expanded even more and I began rubbing the spot carefully.
     Eventually, I received notifications, and my phone light up. Grabbing it, I turned the flashlight and sat in of the bar tools.
     I remained thoughtful and heard how she moved across her room. A few things fell on the floor while she cursed.
     I rubbed my jaw, as I struggled with an inner fight. I glanced at the food, at her door, at the flowers, and all that made me feel uncertain.
  Finally grabbing my suit jacket, I stood and left.   
    Indecisiveness and confusion took over me.
     I had chaos that I couldn't get away from. I had to go. I needed this feeling to disappear.
    Why does my chest feel so heavy?
     

I didn't look back and I couldn't care less to explain why.
  

I just left.

.