Silent

Chapter 15

Loren's POV

"I'm going to take a shower and bed." I said in sign language. I almost forgot that nobody probably knew what that meant.

"You know sign language?" Ponyboy asked. "I know a bit of it."

I gave him a look that was supposed to give off the hint I was saying, "Really?" Or something that gave off the vibe I was impressed and shocked. He nodded. "How do you know it?" He asked.

"I don't know that much but I can carry a conversation. I took it for my first year in high school. Ninth grade."

"Wow. I didn't know that. But your going to bed?" He asked. "You slept for two weeks straight, almost."

I grinned. "Doesn't count" He laughed. "Doctor said to rest." I grabbed my crutches and gave everyone a sarcastic wave. I limped over to my bedroom and boy did it feel good to be back in my own room. I limped over to the bathroom and turned on the shower. I had the only room with it's own bathroom. After Mr. and Mrs. Curtis died, everyone moved around.

It hurt like hell when soap got into some of the cuts, especially my forehead, but it felt nice in the end. Then I got to lay down. My own bed never felt better. I fell asleep for a little bit. But as Ponyboy said, I did just sleep for almost two weeks straight. I wanted to go out. I wanted to do something.

Well, something that didn't involve sitting by myself. I got up and my ankle did feel better. I mean, it was almost the end of the day anyway. It was almost 8 at night. I got up and I decided not to use them. They were uncomfortable anyway. And my ankle was practically better.

I went out into the kitchen and it was just the Curtis'.

"Hey, Loren. We made dinner. Want some?" Sodapop asked.

I shrugged my shoulders and got some of the leftovers on the stove. "Aren't you supposed to be using crutches?" Darry asked.

I shrugged my shoulders again. I mouthed "Feels fine to me" while using sign language.

"I dunno if that's a good idea." Darry continued.

"Actually, sprained ankles heal withing a weak or two. It's been more than that so it should be healed." Ponyboy said.

"I guess as long as you feel fine." Sodapop said. "We got Darry to make the mac and cheese, your favorite, and he's the best at it."

I grinned. Not looking well for them.

They all started talking and I just sat there awkwardly. "Do you have to go to the hospital again for anything?" Ponyboy asked. I looked around for a piece of paper and a pen. Before I could find something to write on, Ponyboy spoke up. "This wouldn't have happened if Sodapop didn't pick a fight." He mumbled.

"How was I supposed to know?" He asked calmly.

"You shouldn't have been being an asshole." He said slouching back.

"Alright, you two. Don't start this." Darry said.

"Why am I being blamed for this?" Sodapop said getting angry.

"It's your fault!" Ponyboy yelled.

"Guys!" Darry scolded.

"No! It was a harmless mistake!" Soda continued.

"Harmless? She can't talk!" He yelled.

"How was I supposed to know a drunk driver was gonna come by? And it wasn't even my fault! She left because of that letter she got!" Sodapop said.

"What was in that letter anyway?" Darry asked.

I was so overwhealmed by everyone yelling I couldn't even think right. "Look at Sodapop wrecking things again." Ponyboy said crossing his arms.

Then things got messy. Sodapop and Ponyboy started yelling and then Darry tried to stop them and Ponyboy was arguing back. I just couldn't take it. I stood up and ran out the door.

I felt horrible. I couldn't believe I was doing this. Just having them yell over each other and everything. I couldn't handle it. I didn't know where I was running but as long as I was out of that house, I was fine with it. I ended up past the lot and into a field before the middle school.

I stopped at a few patch of trees and sunk down. I almost started crying but I just couldn't. I didn't want to. I hated myself for what I was doing.

"Loren!" Someone yelled. I didn't flinch. "Jesus, I didn't know you were that fast." Sodapop said sitting next to me.

I ignored him.

"Look, I'm really sorry 'bout all that. I should have just let it go and move on. Ponyboy's sorry, too."

I continued to ignore him. Part of me only ignored him cause I didn't really know what to do. Looking head and not giving any type of response was my go to in this situation.

"For a girl who just got out of the hospital, you're moving around pretty well." He said. He managed to make me grin. "Gotcha." He said with a grin. I smiled and realized he really could make anyone grin when he needed to. "But really, we are sorry. It won't happen again. Promise." He said.

I looked at him and smiled. He hugged me and helped me up and we started walking home. Sodapop did all the talking. I just listened. Well, sorta.

So far, it seems I will be leaving with my dad in a few days. Soda hasn't been this nice to me in MONTHS! It only proves he's pitying me. Even if I didn't lose my voice, he would have been nice to me until I got better. Then things would have gone right back to how they were.

I zoned back into reality. "I know I haven't been the greatest friend ever. Hell, I've sucked. And I wanted to tell you this for a while. Before you got in the crash, even. I don't hate you. You're my best friend. I don't think I could ever hate you. There was an officer who told us you might die. I knew I messed up after that. I've been trying to think of the words to tell you how sorry I was. I had weeks and I still couldn't think of it. So I guess it's best to tell you now just however it comes out. I'm really sorry. I couldn't ever truly hate you."

I grinned. I pointed to my eye. "I?" I flattened my hand out and put it across my neck. Like how you would tell someone to shut up without saying it. "Don't?" I held up my middle finger. "Fuck you?" I smiled. "Oh! Hate?" I pointed to him. "Me?" I nodded. "I don't hate me..." He mumbled. "I don't hate you! Oh!" He said getting it. I laughed except made sure there was no noise. "Thank, God. We're good?" He asked. I nodded.

I know he said he could never hate me, but when he hears me talk again, I'm sure it'll change.