16 Finding back together

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I lay in bed and was about to fall asleep again. My eyes were burning like fire from all the crying, but I felt a little bit better. Or maybe not better but just lighter. Lighter because I had let out everything that had been building up over such a long time.

My eyelids were heavy and fluttering as I heard the front door open. Damian was home. I sat up slowly and swung my legs over the edge of the bed and stood up. Despite my exhaustion, I went into the living room to greet him.

Without saying a word, I walked up to him and pulled him to me as tightly as I could. Damian wrapped his long arms around my waist and rested his head in the crook of my neck. Immediately I felt him exhale a sigh of relief. I also exhaled in relief and breathed in his familiar, soothing scent.

Although I really needed the time for myself, it felt unbelievably good to be able to hold him in my arms again.

After a few minutes he lifted me up and instinctively I hooked my legs around his waist and wrapped my arms even tighter around his neck. At some point Damian took us to the bedroom and we lay down in bed, tightly embraced by each other. 

"I missed you so much!" I whispered as I finally broke away from him a little so I could look into his eyes. Into those warm brown eyes that looked at me with so much love.

Damian lifted his hand and gently stroked my cheek and neck while looking deep into my eyes. 

"I missed you too, baby. How are you feeling? Are you in pain?" he asked with a frown.

I brought my hand to his face and tried to smooth away the worry lines on his forehead with my fingers.

"Physically, no, emotionally... yes. And part of me will probably always hurt. But I'll learn to live with it. There's nothing I can't deal with as long as I can hold you in my arms." I explained softly.

"Always, mi querida, for always. I just wish that somehow I could take away the pain for both of us." he said and his fingers traced small circles on my back.

"It's going to be okay, Damian. We have to be strong and believe in ourselves. And our baby will always be a part of our lives, even if we can't see or touch that part. He will always be there regardless. It hurts not to be able to hold someone in your arms that you carry in your heart. But at least I have a part of our baby in you with me. That's enough for now," I said and then leaned in to give him a soft kiss.

"You're right. I need nothing more than you right now. And if we're blessed enough to have another chance at a baby, which I'm convinced we will, we'll have even more to love. And it will become easier to accept that we had no influence on what happened," he replied.

"Can you still love me after I failed to protect our baby?" I asked cautiously, lowering my head to avoid his gaze.

"Of course I do. And it won't change." replied Damian as he lifted my chin with his index fingers to look me in the eye.

"Please say it. I need you to say it. Please!" I pleaded in a trembling voice.

"I love you, Y/N! Always have and always will! But... can you still love me after I failed to protect you and our baby?" he replied seriously.

"I love you more than I can put into words. And you are the one who saved me in the first place." I said, and before he could object, I pressed my mouth to his in need. 

That was what I desperately needed at the moment. The assurance that we still had this strong connection. The trust in each other and in our love. We were on the razor's edge, but I was sure that together we could find our way back to our lives. 

As we lay there cuddled up to each other, tiredness overcame us both at some point. Our breathing became more even and slowly we drifted off to sleep.

We had both gained a few more scars and they would always be there, but we were both convinced that they would make us and our relationship stronger.

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