Sinned Blood

Chapter 13 - A Deal With The Devil

I've never thought about it before, but now I wonder what happens to us after we die? Do our souls remain on this earth? Do we live on in those whom we loved? Will someone send to hell or heaven? Is there an afterlife? Now that I think of it, I'm not sure which of these options I'd prefer.

I guess I'd accept anything but the void I feel now. The emptiness is slowly spreading itself inside me, the coldness that embraces me. How could he just leave me here? I understand that he has no soul, no heart, and no feelings whatsoever. But why does he have to define my fate? Why can't my life choices lay in my hands? Why do I not get to choose?

I can feel my lungs being filled with blood. The air around me seems to be getting thinner and thinner with each breath I take. The pain I've felt earlier is slowly fading away as the pressure hits down on my lungs. I can't decide if my body feels lighter or heavier from second to second.

Is this it...? Is that god?

With my vision blurred by my tears, I can hardly see a figure hovering above me. The silhouette of a person comes closer to me as I become weaker. Is this the creature who chooses what happens to me next?

"You know, I've been thinking."

The voice. This goddamn voice. I blink hard, hoping it would improve my vision, only to see that Ryan came back and is now standing next to my body with a cigarette in his hand.

"I figured my brothers would do anything to make my life a living hell for leaving you here. Like spending time with me to make me become a better person. Crap like that, you know?"

I cough as I try to plead for help, but he kneels next to me and takes a long hit of his cigarette like he has all the time in the world, which he does.

"I'm not down to have my evening ruined, so I'll do what everybody would do in this situation. I'm giving you a choice." He says and leans down while placing a kiss on my cheek. I try to turn away from him, but my body's actions are no longer in my control.

I can feel him putting a strand of my hair behind my ear like it's going to make me prettier. Or maybe he wants to see me suffer and needs to look at my whole face for that.

"I'm giving you a choice to live. Commit your life to me. Let your body, your soul, your heart, and your future be mine. Devote yourself to me and face the acceptance of your life depending on me. And once you're mine, you will let the whole world know. Or I can leave you to die. By giving you a choice, I don't have to listen to my brothers' complaints. Call it a deal with the devil, love."

When I said I wish I got to choose, this is not what I meant.

I cannot believe him. He could have let me die but chose to come back to reach out his hand while I hang off the edge, but with the problem that he'll pull away if I don't abandon myself to him?

How can he expect me to lay down my life to him like it means nothing more than that? Is this what he sees my life as? Something to "deal" with? A price? An option? If only I knew what happens after death. Maybe the choice would be way easier then.
Because right now, I am not sure if I'm ready to dedicate my life to this psychotic monster of a man.

"I can feel that you're time's almost up. Your choice. Take it or leave it." I knew that he was serious. He was ready to leave me here to die. What choice do I have? The truth is, I am scared of the unknown that's awaiting me. The chances of finding happiness after death are probably small. Not like anybody would know.

"P-please..." I whisper between my deep breaths.

"I'm sorry, that was a bit quiet. Could you repeat that for me?" I frown at him. My vision is turning pitch black as I slowly start to faint. With my last bit of energy, I manage to get the word out.