tattoos || c.h.

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴛᴡᴇɴᴛʏ

calum

julian just told mia she's the mom he never had. as julian's in my arm i can see mia silently freaking out. god, i hope she doesn't leave because of this. i know it's not something to spring on someone you've met only a few months ago, but i hope she won't freak out so much that she'll leave.

mia finally looks to julian, not caring for my presence, and i can see she's afraid of losing him. even after those words she still doesn't want to leave, even though it seemed to freak her out.

julian calms down and let's go of me to run back to mia, who gladly wraps her arms around him.

"hey, buddy." she whispers. "you feeling better now?" julian gives her a small nod as she repeats the action i did only a few seconds ago, rubbing his back.

it feels weird saying this, but looking back at her interactions with julian and how she always seems to be genuinely happy when he's around, she does seem like a mom to him. especially right now and how she's holding him right and she's holding him like she'll never see him again.

we sit in silence. the only thing heard are the people in the park and the cars on the road that's a good walk away.

mia doesn't meet my eyes, but i can see a few tears pricking at her own. quickly, she closes her eyes. she actually believes i'm not going to let them see each other again. a few tears fall from mia's eyes and julian quickly pulls away from the hug.

"why're you crying?" julian asks mia as he wipers her tears. fuck. this is like from a movie or something, dramatic as hell. but it's actually really fucking sad.

"why don't we all go back home and we can all watch a movie?" i offer and mia looks at me, surprise written all over her face. "it's going to get dark if we don't get walking." i offer mia my hand to get up and she takes it as she grabs her camera.

julian stands between mia and me and grabs both of our hands and we start to walk back to my place. julian and i decided to walk here, so by the time we get back to my apartment it'll probably be around five or six.

i grab a bag of popcorn and put it in the microwave. i turn to see julian making himself comfortable in mia's lap, making her laugh. even after what julian said, she still wants to be apart of his life. he's only four and sees someone else as the mom he never gets to grow up to have.

the microwave goes off and i pour the popcorn in a big bowl as i walk to the couch to see julian's decided to want to watch finding nemo.

every now and then i'd look over and mia hasn't moved once unless it was julian wiggling a little bit to get more comfortable in her lap. her head rests on top of julian's and she has both arms wrapped around him. i feel she still believes that she'll never see julian again.

when the movie ends i look over to find both my son and mia fast asleep. i find one of the softest blankets in the living room and place it over them.

i never paid much attention to how mia would interact with julian, just that the two were always smiling and having fun. but since julian said that, i can now see it. especially right now.

i let out a deep breath and quietly make my way to the balcony that gives me a great view of the skyline. i pull my phone out of my jeans and dial ashton's number, hoping he'll answer.

"hey, what's up?" my best friend answers.

"what i tell you right now can not go to anyone else. not even your family who's not here." i tell him.

"okay, i won't. what's so serious you said that?" i can hear the concern in his voice.

"we closed the shop today because i thought all of us deserve at least one day off, so i took julian to the park. we walked there and somehow julian noticed mia and ran to her. she had her camera with her and he wanted a picture, so she took it. i walked over, she took a picture of me and julian." i take a quick breather. "he then grabbed her into a hug and we talked a tiny bit, then julian tells mia that she's the mom he never had and he starts to cry. after a few minutes julian allows mia to hand me him. we sit there for awhile and she wanted to leave, but i silently told her to stay. i saw how she thought i wouldn't let her see julian again and i didn't and still don't understand why she would think that. julian stopped crying, went back to hug mia."

"mia then started to cry because, like i said, she thought she wouldn't see him again. julian pulled back from their hug and wiped her tears and asked why she way crying. before she could get a word out i offered for all of us to come back to my place and watch a movie. she seemed really surprised, but she still walked with us back to my apartment. we watched finding nemo and when the movie ended i saw julian fast asleep on mia who seemed to be asleep too. and now i'm looking back at all the times mia and julian interacted and realizing she kind of has been acting like a mom with him, and i guess she didn't notice either because when julian said that she looked just as surprised as me. but when i covered them with a blanket, she really did look like a mom to julian." i finally end my rambling about the past few hours.

"holy shit." is all ashton replies with. "wow. dude, i don't know what to say or do. i don't know how to give you any advice on that. i'm sorry."

"no, it's fine. i just really needed to get that off my chest." i admit. "it's something mia taught me to do. wow."

"shit, dude." ash says. "in just a few months she's already got you learning how to deal with stuff and reassuring that you're a great dad. and bringing up the park, it seems she now plays a big role in yours and julian's life."

"i'm just afraid she'll leave like reece did." i lean against the railing on my porch. "besides julian thinking she's the mom he never got to have, mia's amazing, and she's a really great friend, and i don't know if i could lose her too."

"then stay friends. she seems to not want to end your two's friendship and her friendship with julian. that's the only thing i can really tell you." he replies.

"you really think that she won't leave?" i question ash on if he believes his own words.

"i know she won't leave." he sounds so assure of himself. "june talks to me. she tells me that mia talks about julian and how she loves when they have their own fun like kids. she brings up how mia believes she won't be a good mom if she ever adopts, but then she acts like this with julian. june talks about how she doesn't understand why mia would think that when she acts like a mom with julian."

"even june thinks that?" i question mia's best friend's beliefs. "shit. does everyone else think that?"

"dude, the first night we all hung out together and saw mia with julian it already looked like she was his mom. june told me how mia's great with kids, but she's never seen mia act like this with another kid. she's never seen mia act like an actual mom."

"fuck." i run my fingers through my hair. "mate, i don't know what to do. i don't want her to leave mine nor julian's life, she's a great person. but what if one day she realizes it's too much. like being told she's like the mom julian never had and how julian's always wanting to see her all the time."

"from how much she enjoys yours and julian's company, i don't think she'll be leaving any time soon." ashton assures me. "and to be honest? if you let her, she'll most likely never leave."