With Love, Ryan (Shattered#1)

.8

| Eleanor |

11:30 PM

Awkward.

All I could think was this word flashing in my head like a neon sign. One might think I would have gotten gratitude in return but all I got was. . . . indifference.

He didn't look traumatised or . . affected.

"Are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital?" I asked again, just in case he hit his head and couldn't get it the first time.

His eyes downward, he shook his head in a gentle no.

I twisted my hands together, worried and scared for him. I mean it's not like he mattered to me or anything. .he was a human and I was normal.

Normal people cared.

"Can you drink that up? I paid for it, you know." I insisted looking at the water bottle in his hand.

He didn't answer.

I had the urge to stomp my foot or do something wild.

Like whack him with the bottle.

Somehow I managed to put pants on him and tried to lend my support to him which was . .nerve wrecking. I had zero experience dealing with grown up men. With all the huffing and puffing , he gained consciousness. Barely but enough to not lean on me all the way.

I nearly toppled over under his weight. The guy was lean and tall. .which meant double the weight.

We were occupying an abandoned bench right outside a tall skyscraper. The night time breeze was chilling my bones but it had nothing on what I saw. I  had always read about women on the receiving end of such a barbaric crime but this. .

I peeked at him.

He had his head down, his legs slightly apart , his elbows resting on his knees as his eyes continued to bore holes in the ground.

We had a decent distance between us.

I mean. .I didn't want to get too close to cause him discomfort.

I cleared my throat to get his attention.

Anything.

"Uh I promise I won't tell. . . anything to anyone."

I thought I saw his lips going skyward in a bitter sweet smile.

"I know you won't." He said softly, uncapping the bottle.

I had no idea why but hearing him speak made me feel. .good.

"How can you be so sure?" I asked just for the sake of conversation and for him to keep going.

Ryan glanced at me suddenly, his blue eyes dull and  . . .

His eyes were empty. Hopeless. Like what happened was as normal as the sun in the sky.

"I told you. You can keep a secret."

"How many are they?" I blurted out.

Ryan looked away at the empty road.

"Enough to make you never look back and—," he stopped himself from saying anything further but his silence. .it said it all.

I tried to change the topic.

"Wanna call your family?" I asked my hand slipping in my pants pocket when—

"I don't have any." He clipped.

Um what?

Okay. .

"Its totally fine. Some people don't have any of fam and. . ."  I genuinely got blank. I thought talking about family would cheer him up but somewhere it made him seem more dark and on edge.

"I don't know what to say. ."

"No one does." Uncapping the bottle, he flipped the bottle cap behind the bench. It clattered away and then—

No.

He didn't drink.

He poured the water all over his face and head. As he shook his head, droplets of it swished at me. . hitting me on my neck and top.

He continued drenching himself while I gawked at his side profile.

I had never seen a guy do this-this hot thing. Ever! I would never call him handsome. .hot was the word. The water made his torn shirt stick to his lean body, gel back his hair and . . .wow!

Shut your mouth, El!

I did that.

Dropping my gaze ,going red in the face.

He placed the empty bottle on the ground right beside his feet and leaned back against the bench.

It was odd how he looked calm and cool.

Odd and annoying.

Why wasn't he . . saying something? Be angry or. .I don't know. .

"Don't you want to talk about it?" I asked in a low voice.

"Do you?" He counter asked.

I clenched my fists. He kept repeating my questions!

Don't lose it, Eleanor! He just went through shit! He's bound to react like that!

"You first." I nearly bit out but reigned my anger the last second.

Slowly, he looked at me. Really looked at me. Blue eyes catching the sparkle of the lights.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" He asked in that calm voice that made me want to hit him.

"Oh my God!" I exclaimed. " Here I'm trying to make sure you're okay and . . you're. . hitting on me?" I scowled, my voice drenched in disbelief.

"What's wrong with that?" He shrugged carelessly.

I swear my eyes bugged out of their sockets.

"Hello?!" I said shrilly, "you almost got assaulted and-and it doesn't matter to you?! What's wrong with you?!" I raised my voice, going breathless.

This guy made me breathless.

He freaking smiled.

That heart melting, gut wrenching Brad Pitt smile!

"If you can scoot over here," he patted the space beside him," I'll tell you everything you want to know."

Was this guy for real?

I was a person with anger management issues and people are not suppose to mess with me!

My eyes turned into slits.

"Listen here, hotshot! I'm not the girl you think I'm!  It would be nice if you stop whoring around for once so Megan like episodes don't happen ever again."

His raised a dark eyebrow.

"You make me sound like a prostitute."

"That's because you're one."

Shit! Now he looked amused!

"I know my sex life might kill your set of morals. At least I don't judge people like how you, the mighty saints, do. You're the good girl right? Am I passing around judgements over that? Why can't you let me be a prostitute as you put it? A prostitute in peace?"

One of my eyes twitched.

His voice was as smooth as a butter and everything he said made legit sense but . .

"W-well. ." I stammered." Because it's wrong! It sounds wrong! It feels wrong!"

He smiled again.

"What is so wrong , Eleanor?"

"Being a whore."

He smirked.

"I do sex around but I don't think I have qualified for being a prostitute yet. You know, you have a name fit for a queen but you don't sound like one."

××××××××××