Regrets

Chapter 11

A/N: Finally! :D As an apology for making you wait for so long.. Here's a rather long update for you guys

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It was the first time Taemin felt so out of control. He was so close to losing himself. Jiyeon does that to him. He wanted to spend the rest of the night with her, cuddling with her until morning, watching her sleep, wrapping his arms around her and letting her rest her head on his chest. He misses those rare times when they would spend the night wrapped in each other's arms.

He regrets that he didn't let her have her way those few times when she asked him to stay. He always had an excuse each time. Things like he was busy or that he had to go somewhere, meet important people, go to interviews and practice some more. Now he wondered why he chose them over Jiyeon. Why did he refuse her offer to stay when being with her is the most wonderful thing in the world? Now he knew he will never give it up with anything anymore. But it's already too late and all he could do now is leave.

Before he totally lose his resolve and do something he knew he will regret eventually, he silently walked to the door with feather-like steps careful not to make too much noise, and out to the dark chilly night feeling as if he just woken up from a wonderful dream in which he had no way of returning to.

While wasting sighs and feeling his heart beating in a frantic rhythm, he reached the car, slid inside, rested his head on the steering wheel and closed his eyes. He wondered how many more of this can his heart take before it explodes. How many times does he have to restrain himself before he finally accepts the fact that they were no longer meant to be. He took her for granted before so what right does he have for him to wish he could once again call her his own?

He just wanted to hold hands with her, feel her fingers intertwining with his own. But even that is impossible now.

"Why are you wasting your time, ajushi?" A voice beside him made him lift his head up. The little boy who put him in this mess was sitting at the passenger seat across from him.

Taemin who got used of him appearing and disappearing out of nowhere, was no longer surprised to find him sitting on the passenger seat with a sad look on his face as if he was disappointed with how Taemin chose to live his life the second time.

Taemin wasn't happy with his life either. He was far from it actually. But the fact that he knew Jiyeon is alive and breathing increases his resolve and convinces him that he was doing the right thing. Even if it was torture on his part. Even if it feels like going through hell and back. It wasn't even close to the kind of punishment he deserves for taking her for granted all those years.

"I'm not wasting my time. I'm trying to figure out a way to save her."

"You can't save her. No, don't even consider it, ajusshi. You're not allowed to change her fate."

"I have to try."

"With the expense of your life?"

Taemin, surprised by the boy's words, asked, "What do you mean?"

"If, I'm not saying it will but just in case, with some kind of miracle, she survives, someone else has to die and that person would be you."

Taemin thought nothing can surprise him anymore. After experiencing time travel first hand, he decided he won't be surprised if he suddenly sees a person conjuring up fireballs with bare hands, bending spoons with his mind, or even flying. So finding out that he might die in exchange for Jiyeon's life was not really a shock for him. He expected that much anyway. He realized that if all ends well, it would be too good to be true. Therefore it should be expected that he has to give up something big in exchange.