Regrets

Chapter 23

A/N: I just realized it's been 2 months.. Before you hate me, you might want to consider reading first *grins*

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Love is a complicated thing. It is love when you wake up in the morning and find your special someone staring at you as you sleep and wishing you woke up earlier than he did so you can do the same. It is definitely love when your heart flips in your chest because you see him smile at you and you find yourself smiling back because it is suddenly a good day even if the rain is pouring hard outside. It is certainly and without a doubt love when you feel your heart explode when he leans down and softly brushes his lips on top of yours.

That's exactly what Jiyeon was thinking as Taemin gave her an early morning kiss. She already stopped thinking about the whys. Why Taemin lied to her, why he pushed her away and why was he so desperate to make her fall out of love for him. Sometimes it's enough that you know it is love.

"Stop staring please..." she said softly as her cheeks starts to tint with red. Taemin has the habit of always staring and she finds it unnerving though pleasant. It worries her that he might find her flaws and stopped loving her because of it. She had so much insecurity because after all she was just an ordinary girl.

"I can't help it." He said. Her cheeks turned a deeper shade and she gave up trying to hide herself from his scrutinizing gaze. "Jiyeon-ah..." Taemin said which forced Jiyeon to meet his gaze

"Hmmm?"

"Live with me."

Taemin didn't have to ask twice. It was something they both have always wanted. And given the amount of time they have left, the decision came suddenly. None of their friends objected (Taemin guesses that even if he suddenly announces that he wanted to live in the middle of the Antarctic they wouldn't object) He realized it's probably one of the perks of having your friends know that you're dying. You can ask them anything and they will always let you have your way.

Taemin and Jiyeon rented a place near the café where Jiyeon used to work before moving to America. She decided she misses the place and she wanted to work there again just until she finishes college and she could put up her own café business. Jiyeon misses baking and Yuri was just as delighted with the idea as she was.

The first few months flew by so fast that everything seemed like a blur for Jiyeon. Things were going perfectly for the both of them that Jiyeon was able to push the nagging feeling of dread at the back of her mind. She didn't want to think about the day when Taemin finally leaves because it was too scary and Jiyeon didn't want those thoughts to ruin her last few moments with Taemin.

But there were times when those fears manifest in the form of nightmares that wake her up in the middle of the night crying and shivering in fear. It would take a few caresses and soothing words from Taemin to calm her down. Jiyeon would only stop crying once she realizes that Taemin was still there with her and that he hadn't left.

Jiyeon wanted to convince herself that she was okay with everything- of being happy for a while than missing her chance and not being happy at all. But then she realized she was becoming more and more selfish everyday. The more time she spends with Taemin and the more happiness she felt, the more she wishes for that happiness to last. But she didn't dare tell Taemin that because she didn't want to be a burden. So she endured it even if she was slowly dying of frustrations, worries and fears deep inside.

But there is only so much she could endure. Taemin didn't tell her when exactly he's leaving and sometimes she thinks that maybe it's better that she doesn't know. But the worry is already too much to handle lately with the six months being almost up and she needed some kind of assurance at the least.