Regrets

Chapter 27

Erase my existence. Make everyone forget that I ever existed. Make Jiyeon forget about me.

It was that wish that changed things the way they once were. SHINee is still the same, famous for their contemporary music and unique fashion, but the five-member group is now composed of four – had always been four ever since the group's debut. As far as everyone is concerned there was no and had been no Lee Taemin – the lead dancer and maknae. There was only Choi Minho (who became the maknae of the group), Kim Kibum, Kim Jonghyun, and the leader Lee Jinki.

Nobody knew that there was once a Lee Taemin who suddenly decided on his own that the world would probably be a better place without him in it.

But it wasn't. Things had changed but it can hardly be called better. At least for Jiyeon it wasn't.

She lives her life wondering why she couldn't fall in love like everyone else does. Even her friend Yuri has a boyfriend now. Watching her friend being happy and in love makes her wonder why she couldn't feel the same way.

And then there was Choi Minho. He was every girl's dream – tall, gorgeous, has a freaking wonderful smile, gentleman and totally nice. So why couldn't she fall in love with him? There must be really something wrong with her. Sometimes she thinks she was destined to be alone and lonely for the rest of her life. She fears the thought just like how she fears the existence of ghosts – the possibility of it being real makes her want to curl up in a ball and wrap herself in blankets.

"Yuri, do you think there's something wrong with me?" She asks her friend the same question almost every day that the other girl only rolled her eyes and didn't say anything.

Jiyeon sighed feeling miserable even more. "I know you said I'm just confused but sometimes I think there's something more to it, you know."

"Give the guy a favor, will you?" Yuri obviously wanted her to consider dating Choi Minho and Jiyeon didn't know how to explain to her friend that it isn't as simple as that. "Either turn him down or date him. Make up your mind."

Jiyeon decided Yuri is not the person she should be talking to. She was happily in love with her boyfriend so she would never understand the feeling of helplessness and desperation that she currently have.

Then she thought about Key and how he would probably nag at her telling her she was lucky to have Minho and that she should treasure him a bit more. She couldn't agree more. But... Yeah, there will always be buts and yet she didn't know exactly what those buts are.

After realizing that there was probably no one who would ever understand how she feels, she ended up spending time with herself but instead of drowning herself with alcohol at some bar, she decided to indulge herself with different flavors of ice cream – lots of ice cream.

Except for that one person at the counter, there was no one else at the shop which isn't surprising because who would want to go in an ice cream shop and eat ice cream in the middle of winter? Probably no one. Except her of course.

Jiyeon tried to ignore how the guy at the counter keeps stealing glances at her and she also tried to ignore the fact that the guy is probably the best looking guy she had ever seen. But that fact is pretty hard to ignore when there's nothing more interesting and stare-worthy than the guy at the counter (not that she's complaining because she honestly needed the distraction to get her mind off the depressing thoughts in her head)

"What flavor next?" the guy at the counter asked good naturedly. Jiyeon thinks he's gorgeous and that she's slowly melting with warmth despite the cold weather. It was weird but it doesn't mean she didn't like it.