I started my day sitting on top of Ashton's kitchens worktop. It has been a few weeks since the Calum incident and I was still attempting the rid the guilty feeling off my shoulders every time me and Ashton kissed. Speaking of Ashton, he was cooking breakfast on the stove that I was sat opposite to, giving a very nice view of his shirtless back.
"Coffee?" Ashton asked turning around.
"Please." I smiled, hoping that it would cover up my previous act of checking out Ash's back. However the quick, sly wink he sent me before turning round again to get the coffee instantly let me know that I had been caught.
"God damnit." Ash cursed.
"What?" I tore my gaze away from his back once again.
"We're out of milk, would you mind...?" He looked at me hopefully.
I sighed and hopped off the counter, blowing him a kiss as I walked out of the kitchen. I went to grab Ash's flannel off the back as the couch to act as some sort of jacket (and also because he had a good taste in cologne). However, on my way to sofa I tripped over something and fell just short of the sofa.
I groaned and so did the thing I had tripped over. Then I realised that I hadn't tripped over something, but someone.
"Michael?" I asked only to get a low groan in reply. He was may on the floor, face down and rigid.
My many nights spent on YouTube watching danisnotonfire helped me easily assess the situation.
"Existential crisis?" I asked.
He nodded and groaned again in reply. I examined the bruise forming on my knee already through the rips in my jeans.
"Stella?" Michael asked.
"Yeah?" I replied, curiously poking at my knee.
"What's the point anymore?"
My eyes immediately snapped up to look at him. "What?" I asked stupidly.
"I mean, everybody is planning, planning weddings, births, funerals, what they're gonna do after school - but why? The future is inevitable, but so is death. You can spend all night studying for a test but only to get hit by a car the next day walking to school. Why don't people think about this more often and instead of planning, learn to love life, learn to live. Throw caution to the wind if you wanna go sky diving, go book yourself lessons and then a slot and go sky dive. Don't wait. But at the same time I'm waiting. I'm waiting to find someone, to finish art school and get my work out there and explore the world, there's so much out there to see and I'm not following my own advice. Also I -"
"Michael, take a breath okay? Just write all your thoughts down on a piece of paper and rip it up or burn it. I've got to go and get some milk, but I'll be back soon just try and follow my advice, yeah?" And with that I grabbed Ashton's flannel and headed towards the door. I shook my head vigorously before heading out the door, I could feel my own existential crisis coming on.
.
.
.
In the shop, I grabbed basket and easily navigated myself towards the dairy isle. I grabbed a bottle of milk before carrying on to do more shopping, I grabbed teabags, coffee and strawberry laces. Before I headed to the till to pay, I walked round back to the dairy isle to pick up some chocolate milk, in the hope that it would cheer Michael up. As soon as I turned down the dairy aisle i froze. There was Calum Hood standing /right in front/ of the chocolate milk.
Michael didn't need chocolate milk anyways, it's not like it was important. I didn't tell him I was going to get some and what he doesn't know won't hurt him. I shrugged, and turned around to go back to the tills. Just as I was turning away, a hand grabbed my wrist. I jumped and gasped loudly, thankful that he had grabbed the hand that /wasn't/ holding the basket full of shopping. But there I was in the middle of the dairy aisle staring into Calum Hood's chocolate brown eyes.
I felt my cheeks heat up as I looked down, searching for a way to get away.
"Hey, I haven't seen you around lately." He smiled innocently.
/I know I've been avoiding you./ I think. Instead I giggle nervously and stutter out a, "W-well all I do is study and work, you know where to find me."
"Is that an offer?" His eyes hold a mischievous glint.
"Oh, god no!" I quickly recover, feeling my heart sink a little at the look of rejection that flashed through his expression.
"So why are you here?" I changes the subject easily.
"Uhm, well Ashton has run out of coffee and Michael isn't feeling well so I was gonna get him some chocolate milk." I point behind him to the many cartons of chocolate milk.
"You're living with them?!" His voice raising slightly.
"Well Ash is my boyfriend so I've bee-" I'm cut off before I can finish my sentence.
"You're still with him. After everything ... after us." His voice drops to a low deadly whisper. His dark brown pupils turning almost as dark as his black irises.
He looks deadly angry, and I struggle to not take a step back in fear. "O-of course, I mean, sure. Why wouldn't I be?" My jumbled sentence gives away the fact that I'm scared.
He just shakes his head and brushes past me harshly. I let out a small breath and head towards the chocolate milk. "Oh, and Michael prefers strawberry milk, especially if he's having an existential crisis." Calum calls, but when I turn to thank him, he's gone.
.
.
.
When I return back to Ashton's flat, I'm still over-thinking about Calum. Shaking him from my thoughts and kissing Ashton softly as I handed him the coffee and other things I turned to pour Michael a glass of strawberry milk. I placed it down in front of him and sipped carefully from my strong coffee. I settled into Ashton, was sitting next to me, and focused on the TV show that was currently playing. Anything that would distract me, anything.
**************
hello
Now that I have confirmed that I am not dead ...
HAPPY EASTER!!!!
School is just stressing me out so I'm writing when possible, stick with my guys please.
I'm on Easter break currently so I'll try to update as much as possible.
It's not that I've got writers block ((trust me, my head is full of ideas for this)) or motivation ((I have absolutely loads for writing)) it's just that I have the stress
I'm sorry, I'm trying my best for ya
Have a good Easter guys and I shall see you shortly
~Dani
