It was 4am.
And I was sitting straight upright in bed, wide awake. I had not slept for one minute since I got back from Ashton's about three hours earlier. I decided not to stop at his after all.
My thoughts swum never-ending circles around my head and every single cell in my body was wracked with guilt.
I had tossed and turned, desperately wanting to get to sleep and escape my thoughts for the maximum amount of time as possible. I had to be up for class in three hours.
For a moment, I considered switching my alarm off and sleeping through, it's not like Professor Langston would notice anyway. I could hear Luke's snores through the thin walls and sighing in annoyance. 'At least he can sleep, he hasn't got anything worrying on his mind, he hasn't cheated on his girlfriend. Luke is completely loyal, why couldn't you be like that' my thoughts jeered as I cowered from them.
I curled up in my sheets as if they would protect me from my thoughts and the world. They didn't. I was deep in my thoughts I didn't even notice the sun filling the room up through the small crack in my curtains. I didn't even hear Luke getting up till he knocked on my door and walked in.
Upon seeing my state he frowned. "What happened to you?"
"What?" I mumbled thickly, so now my body decides it wants to sleep.
"You look terrible ... no offence." He added on quickly.
"I can't sleep, I haven't slept all night." I frowned.
"Then sleep now, I'll take the class notes for you." He smiled softly.
I nodded, or I may not have I'm not sure, because at that moment I was drifting off to sleep.
.
.
.
When I woke up it was dull and grey outside, yellow street lamps lit the busy roads. I glanced at the time on my clock on the beside table. It was 5pm. I'd slept for about 10 hours.
My fidgeting caused a small thump in the floor as if something had fallen off the bed. After scrambling around to find my light switch I discovered it to be my black notebook. Flicking through the pages I found three pages of untidy handwriting which would take me about three hours to decipher
I sighed, and got out of bed to get dressed.
Once dressed I walked into the living room to find Luke, Charlotte and Ashton watching TV, the tension in the room was very noticeable. I cringed almost as soon as I stepped out out the room. Luke was the first one to notice me.
"Hey Stella! Feeling better?" He asked jumping up and hugging me. I could feel the daggers that Ashton was giving him.
"Yes I am, thanks. I'm just gonna grab some coffee." I said pulling away from Luke and turning to hug Ashton who kissed the top of my head too.
When I had got away from them both I walked to the kitchen and found Michael and Calum deep in conversation. It was just my luck that Calum was standing right in front of the coffee maker. I sighed and cleared my throat, both of them jumped and looked at me.
I forcefully smiled at them both. "Can I, uhm, get to the coffee maker please." I pointed to the large clunky black object behind Calum.
Together, they both nodded and moved. I busied myself making the coffee in awkward silence. Seconds before the coffee was brewed I felt lips softly linger on the side of my neck. I spun round quickly to see who it was. It wasn't who I really wanted it to be.
I rolled my eyes and turned back around to the coffee as it beeped loudly at me. "Calum." I stated.
"Aw c'mon baby, you were loving it the other night." He giggled.
"Will you shut up about that. I suppose you told Michael." I snapped as I poured milk into my mug.
"I wasn't actually." He said slowly.
For the second time that morning, well evening, I rolled my eyes. "So what were you talking about then?"
"That's none of your business. Anyway, I thought you wanted answers." He answered quickly.
"Well at 5am this morning when I couldn't get any sleep, that I didn't really care for answers - I cared for sleeping. I don't want anything to do with you anymore." And with that I picked up my coffee mug and stormed past Calum, settling down on the sofa next to Ashton, who was having a heated discussion with Luke and Michael about what takeaway they should order.
"Oh Luke? Thanks for making the notes for me." I smiled.
"It wasn't me. It was Calum." I was sightly taken aback and looked around for him. He hadn't returned from the kitchen.
"Yeah, he actually did something in lesson for once." Charlotte joked.
It didn't occur to me till later on when Calum returned with red eyes and a saddened expression that I might have been a little harsh.
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DID I JUST UPDATE!??
WOW YEAH SO IVE FINALLY FINISHED HIGH SCHOOL A BIG CONGRATULATIONS TO ME FOR SURVIVING WOOOO YAAAY
SO IM BACK AND IM SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING SINCE LIKE FEBRUARY IM SORRY
THANKS FOR 7K!!
~ Dani
