The Night We Met

Chapter 35- And So It Goes (Oliver)

How is it possible to feel so much pain in your life that it just feels natural? Why me? Why fucking me? I don't want to wake up, this feels like a bad fucking nightmare. I'm going to wake up and be that same sad twelve year old where I hate my life but at least everyone in my life is okay. I'm just so so tired of having no one in my corner.

The ambulance took my father away, I told Joey to go with him because I need time to think. All I can think about is that I might loose the person that I just found again. And I have no one to help me through this. Joey has never dealt with grief before, his father left him, but he has a big family and they helped his mother through that tough time until she got on her feet and married his step dad. Joey was 14, that's when we drifted apart. River hates my father so I doubt she'll feel much of anything if he does something selfish like die. I truly have no one.

I'm also officially on the verge of being a potential orphan. My family's small. It was always just the four of us plus my grandfather. I don't know if I even have any other family.

Why does my short time with him have to end so soon? I arrive at the hospital and spot Joey, he says that they rushed my father into surgery and I sit down and wait.

I wait and wait and wait. I wait for over 3 hours until someone comes out and tells me that my father is stable and I can visit. I feel some of the tension from my shoulders drop but I can't help but feel like there's something more at play.

I turn to tell Joey the good news but he's asleep. I wake him up and tell him, he's about to get up when I say "Your tried, call Brynn and go home. It's late and if something changes I'll tell you." With that I leave and go to my father.

I walk in and he's asleep. I walk over and sit next to him and hold his hand and cry. I'm about to loose my father when I just got him. He's had a few health issues over the years. Broken limps, a smoking problem he had to get over after it started making him loose too much weight. He's close to his 62, hasn't lived the healthiest life, there's no way he can beat this. I want to be optimistic but life has never handed me a free pass. My life has been a whole lotta fuck you's. I doubt they'll let me be happy.

I'm crying so hard I don't even realize someone entered the room until I look up and see River. She has tears in her eyes as she starts wiping mine. I take her into my arms and hold her tightly.

"It's okay." She says.

"It's not."

"I'm here for you. I love you Oliver." 

"I love you River, but I feel like sometimes you love me too."

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My heart just broke. A few more sad chapters to come. I'm sorry but like my characters have to go through pain.

Also my chapters might be coming in a little shorter because it's the final chapters