Dangerous Game

CHAPTER 6

WARNING

This chapter contains detailed erotic scenes.If you are not comfortable with this topic do not read.

Enjoy ❤

Amaya POV

I turn over again in bed, now my gaze is turned towards the large window in the room.
The dawn light begins to brighten the sky above Washington.
Even tonight I didn't sleep a wink, every time I tried it the same images always filled my mind.
My hands dipped into his blood-covered chest.
His white face and gray lips.
My screams as Sam dragged me away from his body to allow the doctors to help him.
I feel a constant pain hammering in my head, I close my eyes sighing now I am more than sure that I will never be able to fall asleep.
I lie on my back and let my eyes wander around the room.
This room hosted me for the last week.
The white walls are covered with photographs of two beautiful children, Sam's nephews.
I can never thank my friend enough for giving me a place to stay, I can never thank him enough for not asking me questions.
He was close to me without pushing my buttons too much.  The total opposite of Tony Stark.
I can't help but think back to when he came to see me two days after that damn mission.

《Flashback》

Tony opens the door of Sam's room suddenly, without knocking and without asking permission.
"Hey kid, how are you?"
His dark eyes scan me seriously, there is no trace of that joyful flame that distinguishes him.
He looks really worried.
I shrugged in response as I sat on the bed and looked out the window again.
I hear Tony sigh and come over to sit next to me.
"Come home"
His words are accompanied by his hand that rests on my knee squeezing it slightly.
"That's not my house Tony"
I don't look him in the eye.
I couldn't hold his gaze right now.
"Do not be stupid!Of course it's your home and we are all waiting for you.Nobody is angry with you for what happened.Much less Barnes”
I just need to hear his name to feel my stomach close in a vise.
I try to breathe deeply, I can't afford another panic attack.
Not in front of Tony.
I harness all my emotions and close them in the depths of me.
“I will not go back Tony.It was a mistake to accept Fury's proposal.I can't be an Avengers.I am not what you all expected"
A knot tightens my throat.
My voice dies at the end of the sentence.
As much as I have dozens of reasons to feel bad, what hurts the most right now is knowing I have let down Tony.
The man who with his countless advice was helping me to get out of my shell.
The only person able to understand the depth of my pain.
"Are you kidding me kid?Just come home, please”
I get out of bed overwhelmed by a fury that I've been trying to keep at bay for the last two days.
I begin to stride around the room, I feel like a lion in a cage.
I wish I could scream.
I wish I could tell him why I can't go back.
“Listen to me Amaya.I know what you're feeling”
Tony's words make me turn in his direction, a sarcastic smile appearing on my lips.
"Really Stark?"
"C'mon Snow!Why do you act like this.You have been a cold-blooded killer for a decade.You know how this job works, you know what the risks of the trade are.You know that when bullets fly someone can leave their skin.If you couldn't handle this, you could have joined the Boy Scouts.Don't be dramatic, Barnes will do great.Don't worry"
That's what I love about this man.
Brutal but sincere.
He will never sweeten the situation for you.
In fact, he will always choose the hardest way to spur you to react.
"Listen to me Amaya" Tony tells me.
He is standing in front of me now, his hands are resting on my shoulders.
“I'm going to tell you something no one knows.A secret.So if you dare to tell someone I'll be ready to deny it to the death”
I roll my eyes and smile.
Always the same Tony.
He smiles back at me.
“Years ago when we faced Ultron, something happened that shook me to the core.For a moment I too thought about abandoning everything and going away with Pepper.I wanted to say goodbye to the Avengers”
I look at him with disbelief, as if the Avengers could ever exist without him.
I go back to focusing on the man in front of me.
“Before Wanda was our ally, before she was our friend she sided against us.As you well know, she has innumerable qualities.She is a very powerful witch but one of her scarier abilities than she is to make you see, let you live, your greatest fears.Right here”
So saying he taps his index finger on my temple.
"What did she show you?" I ask greedy for answers.
“I saw all the Avengers deads.All my friends who had lost their lives just because of me.Because I wasn't strong enough to protect them” I see him sigh.
“What I'm trying to tell you kid is that it's okay to be afraid of not being able to save your friends.I too thought that anyone next to me was destined to die"
I close my eyes and lower my head.
My hands clench in two fists.
In part he is right.
My desire not to return also stems from the fear of not being able to save my team.
This is one of the reasons why I loved working alone, no distractions.
No bond.
The only person to protect was me and this gave me more ability to concentrate.
But unfortunately this is not the main reason.
If the bullet had hit Sam, Natasha or Steve I would have handled the situation better and not because I don't care about them.
The problem is, I can't allow Barnes to become such a big distraction, I can't afford to let my feelings prevail during a mission.
That's not what I was trained for.
I am tired and my mind can no longer produce coherent thoughts.
Tony places a finger under my chin and pushes upwards so that my gaze meets his.
“You don't have to say anything right now, okay?You don't owe me any explanation.I'm no one to tell you what you should or shouldn't do, I just ask you to think about it, deal?"
"Deal" I reply with a whisper.
Tony heads for the door but before leaving he turns back to me.
"I hope to see you again.You all miss you a lot, you know?Nat is back to being the usual curmudgeon without you” having said that, he goes away without even giving me time to answer him.