Dangerous Game

CHAPTER 22

Small premise before starting!

I know that last chapter I wrote that it would be the last and that I would soon post the epilogue but this story has a life of its own now and so I felt compelled to write another chapter.
This time it will really be the last and next week the epilogue will come.

So...enjoy the last chapter ❤️

!WARNIG!

This chapter contains a very sensitive topic.
I will write about abortion so if you are not comfortable with this topic please don't read.

Amaya POV

Two years later

Damn!
Damn!
I have been locked in the bathroom of Natasha's room for almost fifteen minutes, finishing my make-up and dressing for the party that will take place tonight.
Today is December 31st.
Tonight we will say goodbye to the old year to welcome the new one.
And my year will end and start in the worst way.
I look at my reflection in the mirror.
I would like to cry, right now I would just like to cry.
Damn!
A few knocks on the door make me blow up full of fear.
“Amaya are you ready?We have less than half an hour to go before the party starts and Steve has already called me twice" Natasha chuckles from behind the closed door.
I try to compose myself, take a deep breath and open the door.
Nat's hand is in the air, surely she was ready to knock again.
“Wow honey!You are so hot!Bucky's jaw will drop” my friend squeaks happily.
This is now our sacred ritual.
Whenever an opportunity arises that requires a certain elegance, she and I lock ourselves in our room for hours to prepare and amaze our men.
I usually love this moment of ours but not today.
Not today.
I look at her with a hint of a short smile.
“Coming from you!Did you see yourself?Steve will fall for you all over again” I reply.
It's really spectacular Natasha tonight.
She is wearing a beautiful red silk mermaid dress, the fabric is smooth and shiny.
She has a sweetheart neckline and her dress slides sensually over her soft curves.
Her hair is pulled back into a neat bun and a light veil of makeup adorns her already beautiful face.
Natasha giggles and does a little twirl on herself, golden pumps with a vertiginous heel embellish her already perfect look.
"You say?" she murmurs looking at herself in the large mirror placed on the wall opposite the bed.
I roll my eyes.
“I will never understand if you are serious or not.You know very well that your husband would jump on you even if you were wearing a garbage bag” I tease her, making her laugh.
“I know Amaya!It's just that I don't often use this type of clothing, Steve is mostly used to seeing me in civilian clothes or with a work suite...I like to tease him with my feminine side" replies my friend, cleaning a small smear of lipstick on the corner of her lips.
I shake my head in amusement.
As if she wasn't fucking perfect even with t-shirt and sweetpants.
Natasha turns to me.
"I used to say that this dress would be enchanting for you" she tells me, approaching me and arranging the braid that rests delicately on my shoulder.
Natasha smiles at me and I lose myself looking at my reflection in the mirror.
I am wearing a long black dress, the sleeves and the bodice are in lace with a deep V-neck.
A long satin skirt extends from my waist with a slit that goes up to my mid-thigh.
At feet I wear black satin pumps with a stiletto heel.
I look carefully trying to understand if anyone could notice it.
I observe every inch of my body hoping that nothing has changed yet.
I feel the panic assault me and a light veil of sweat beading my forehead.
Natasha's gaze observes me curiously.
"Is everything okay Amaya?" she asks me scrutinizing me with her immense green eyes.
I try to escape the little X-ray exam and pretending to laugh at her amusedly I turn her back and head back to the bathroom.
With a firm step I cross the threshold of the bathroom and grab a small towel to dab the sweat that gradually increases on my forehead.
I have to stop, I have to try to calm down.
"What are you hiding?" whispers Natasha's voice behind me.
And for the second time in ten minutes, my heart skips in my throat.
“Jeez Nat!I didn't hear you coming.You scared the shit out of me” I stammer placing a hand on my chest and trying to bring my accelerated breathing back to a normal pace.
Natasha behind me folds her arms over her chest and we both look at each other through the reflection in the mirror.
Her eyes don't let me go.
I feel trapped, with no way out.
“Don't be paranoid Romanoff.What the hell could I hide from you?" I ask turning to her with a tight smile on my lips.
“Do you know Snow?You may not realize it but when you try to cut me off like this you hurt me” she murmurs coming out of the bathroom and leaving me alone with my feelings of guilt.
I close my eyes by bowing my head forward.
Damn!
All of this is not going to end well.
I leave the bathroom with an uncertain step and find Natasha sitting on her bed as she tries to hook the pearl necklace around her neck.
"I'll help you" I whisper, approaching and sitting next to her.
We look at each other for a few minutes, eye to eye.
Green against green.
Then, sighing, she hands me her necklace and turns.
I bring my hands close to her slender and graceful neck and with quick and confident gestures I adjust her necklace.
"It's not that I want to know all your secrets but at least I wish you didn't lie to me" Natasha sighs.
I sigh too, looking down at my hands that are tirelessly torturing the delicate fabric of my dress.
Natasha is my best friend, I've always told her everything.
She always manages to make me see my problems from a different perspective, she always manages to make me think clearly.
Maybe I should just stop lying to her and at least confide in her.
I gather all the courage I have and force myself to speak.
"Do you remember when I was sick a few weeks ago?"
Natasha laughs softly.
"When did you throw up on my favorite hoodie?" she teases me by giving me a playful shoulder.
Despite the anxiety that grips my guts in a painful grip, a little laugh leaves my lips.
"I thought I apologized enough for that" I chuckled followed by Nat who immediately adds "Yes I remember.What happens?"
I remain silent not knowing where to start with the words.
"Do you also remember that in the end I stretched so badly that it took me the antibiotic to be able to heal?"
Nat's gaze gradually becomes more and more confused.
"Yeah...but what does this have to do with it?" my friend asks.
“I think I'm pregnant Natasha.I believe that the antibiotic interfered with the effectiveness of my birth control pill by canceling its effectiveness" I admit in one breath.
I look down unable to hold the look of astonishment in the eyes of the former Russian spy.
Silence reigns supreme for a few minutes, minutes that in my head turn into hours.
"Are you sure?" Nat asks me in a whisper.
I look up from my lap and bring back my gaze to my best friend's face.
“I have a very regular cycle.Every twenty-eight days, punctual as a Swiss watch.Right now I'm almost three weeks late” I murmur with my heart racing furiously in my chest.
This pregnancy is not what I wanted.
But that's not scares me either.
What scares me more than anything else is Bucky's possible reaction.
He will want this baby.
Even though he has put aside his desire to have a family only for me I know very well that this urgent desire of his is always there.
Ready to jump out.
How can I look him in the eye as I tell him that he will be the father of a child who will never look into this life?
Natasha touches my shoulder, rousing me from my thoughts.
"Sorry Nat, were you saying?" I ask, blinking frantically to blink back the tears of pain that impetuously demand to be released.
"I said have you already taken a pregnancy test?"
I shake my head in response.
"I bought one last week but I haven't had the courage to do it yet" I add in a shaky voice.
I don't know with what courage I bought the test but that courage failed when I thought about doing it.
And in fact the test lies hidden inside a wardrobe drawer.
"I don't know what to do Nat" I sigh shakily.
"You...what would you do?" I ask her.
Natasha looks at me with a strange expression.
“I'm not the right person to ask Amaya.I think each of us wants what we can't have…my answer is very different from your will” Nat replies with a hint of a guilty smile on her lips.
I get up with a wave of disgust.
I feel ungrateful to life but what can I do if this is not what I want for me?
Natasha seems to understand what direction my thoughts are taking and she immediately gets up and joins me in a couple of strides.
She grabs me by the wrist making me turn towards her.
“It's not your fault Amaya.You and only you have the right to choose what you want to do"
"But you..."
Natasha interrupts me immediately.
"What I desire cannot and must not influence your decision"
Her gaze softens.
“No matter what you decide Amaya, I will always be by your side.Always”
We embrace with momentum, her arms hold me against her body giving me all the warmth and comfort I need.
We break away from our embrace and Natasha gently moves a lock of hair from my face, bringing it behind my ear.
"I've already chosen" I admit with fear.
Natasha nods.
“I know honey, I know” she murmurs as she closes her hands around my face.
I lift my hands and place them gently on hers.
“I'm just afraid of how Bucky might react.This whole thing could wreck our love story.I'm so scared Nat” I whimper softly.
A beautiful smile is painted on Natasha's red lips.
"Bucky loves you and I'm sure he will respect your choice" she replies as she strokes my cheeks with the tips of her thumbs.
"I hope so" I admit.
I feel my head explode and I have no idea how this is all going to turn out.
I close my eyes in a wave of desperation.
I don't want to go to a party right now, I just want to put on some warm pajamas and sink my head on my handsome sergeant's broad and muscular chest.
Natasha seems to read my mind.
“Do you want me to make up an excuse for tonight?Maybe you can say that you have had a relapse of the flu"
I shake my head, smiling at her concern.
“No, it's not needed.It's the last day of the year and we have to celebrate" I reply.
She watches me carefully ready to catch every nuance in my gaze.
“I'm fine Nat, really!Come on, let's go to the party” I tell her, smiling sweetly and grabbing her hand.
Together we leave her room and slowly move towards the large hall that will host the annual New Year's Eve party of the famous Tony Stark.
As soon as we step into the great room, the music and the laughter of the guests overwhelm us.
With my eyes I scan the entire room in search of a person.
And after a few moments I find it.
And there he is, my Bucky.
He is chatting with Doctor Banner.
His eyes blue like a sunset sky, immediately find me in the crowd, as if he had sensed my presence.
He smiles at me and apologizing to Bruce he approaches me making his way through the crowd.
He approaches with a sure-footed step and his hands in his pockets, his beauty is intoxicating.
Natasha next to me greets me telling me that she would join Steve.
I nod without taking my eyes off the man who literally stole my heart and turned my life upside down.
Yet I'm about to break his heart once and for all.
Bucky joins me and with a big smile wraps my waist with his arm in Vibranium and squeezes me against his warm body.
“Oh my God doll!You're fucking gorgeous” he whispers to me in a hoarse voice and then forcefully descends on my lips.
He kisses me so passionately that I dizzy.
We walk away from our respective lips with a beaming smile.
"Not even you are so bad sergeant" I whisper, blinking sensually.
He moves away from me and spinning on himself he show me how much he is sexy.
Even if he wears a simple black tuxedo with a white shirt and a black tie, he is the apotheosis of perfection.
"Really?I took the first rag I found in the closet" he says with mock nonchalance, making me laugh heartily.
"Yeah, right" I murmur, rolling my eyes.
"Would you like a drink?" Bucky asks me with extreme simplicity.
The question destabilizes me.
I could drink but something inside me is holding me back.
My heart skips a beat at this strange feeling.
Bucky is looking around and luckily he hasn't noticed this inner torment of mine.
When his beautiful eyes come back to my face they find the same smile I had a little while ago.
"Not yet.Let's go say hello to Sam” I smile at him, grabbing him by the hand and dragging him into the crowd of people to be able to reach Sam and the others.