Dangerous Game

CHAPTER 18

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Amaya POV

A light knock on the door makes me jump, awakening me from my thoughts.
I cautiously approach the door with my heart beating madly and open it the face of my best friend appears in front of me.
With her clear eyes and her sly smile on her lips she looks at me as if she knew perfectly well what is going through my head right now.
"Fuck!You scared me" I reply while the echo of my heart still echoes frantically in my ears.
Nat just crosses her arms over her chest and watches me in silence.
I raise an eyebrow.
"What?" I ask, hammering my thumb between my teeth, anxious to quickly close the door.
Natasha sighs in exasperation, rolling her eyes and then she pushes me aside to enter my room.
I am going to close the door quickly.
Still remaining in religious silence, she approaches my bed and takes a seat on it.
She's already wearing her pajamas and her hair is wrapped up in big curlers.
Tomorrow Natasha will finally marry the love of her life and tonight, as tradition dictates, she will stay away from her future husband.
So we will spend the night together.
"You didn't join our welcome committee.You didn't join us for dinner.Are you going to be locked in this room forever?" my best friend asks me, looking at me with the smile of someone who knows a lot.
"You know I'm getting married tomorrow and I would like the ass of my bridesmaid and best friend to be next to me at the altar" she adds.
What a fool.
As if I could ever miss her wedding.
"Don't be stupid Romanoff.Of course I'll be there tomorrow" I answer, approaching the mirror and finishing wrapping the last strands of hair around the rollers.
Natasha is behind me but I can see her reflection in the mirror in front of me.
She sits better on my bed lying on her stomach and letting her beautiful legs swing in the air.
She puts her hands under her chin and tilts her head to the side, looking at me with an expression that is a little too amused for my taste.
"You know that sooner or later you'll have to see him again, right?If I remember correctly he is still the best man.You won't be able to avoid him forever" she murmurs as she searches for the reflection of my eyes in the mirror.
I meet her gaze for just a moment then I immediately bring it back to my hair.
"Don't talk nonsense.I'm not avoiding anyone" I replied, flaunting an Oscar-worthy confidence.
"Really?"
"Nat stop it...these games don't work with me" I warn her.
I honestly don't feel like talking about him right now.
"What a shame.Because he seemed really disappointed that you weren't there to greet him"
Natasha stands up and joins me helping me with the last strands behind.
I sigh and lowering my eyes I ask Natasha "How are him?How did him seem to you?"
I don't get any response.
I feel Nat's hands tinkering with my hair, she fixes the last curler and then she wraps my head with a silk handkerchief to ensure that the hair takes shape and does not get damaged.
I observe her gestures enraptured by the skill of her expert fingers.
Then our eyes are chained.
"He seems to be fine.And definitely more muscular and oh!He has grown his hair, now it brushes his shoulders.I have to say that he is really charming" says Nat.
I just nod, looking for an answer to give.
"Well...I...fine.I'm happy for him"
Natasha puts her hands on my shoulders and squeezes them affectionately.
Her red nails stand out against the white of my tank top.
"If I asked you something would you be honest with me?"
I nod knowing already that I will regret it.
"Think of it as a wedding present for me" she chuckles at trying to convince me.
I laugh with her.
Then she turns serious and her smile fades from her lips.
"Are you still in love with Barnes?"
I close my eyes and squeeze them tightly.
God knows how many people have asked me the same question.
But she is Natasha.
My best friend.
What I consider to all intents and purposes as a sister.
The only one that has left me free to process my pain in recent months.
Her more than anyone else deserve my honesty.
"Yes" I whisper in a breath voice as I feel a tear roll down my cheek.
I open my eyes and Natasha is looking at me with a very sweet expression, the same expression that a mother would reserve for her little girl.
I can't hold so much love and I look down on my hands and moving away from her grip on my shoulders I sit on my bed.
I let out a disconsolate sigh.
"But that doesn't matter Nat.He now doesn't want to know anything more and that's right.I was mean to him.I forced him to abandon this place, to abandon his family.I certainly don't expect him to feel anything for me yet.And then Sam confirmed what I think"
"Sam?What did he tell you?" asks Natasha curiously, joining me on the bed.
I turn in her direction.
"Bucky specifically told him that anyone could call him as long as they never told him about me and what I do"
I shrug.
I try to keep a neutral expression even if at the moment I just want to scream.
I was a fool and now it's too late.
It's too late.
Natasha says nothing and I smile.
"I think he said the same thing to you too.Don't make that face!I know very well that you too have called him often.You're friends, it's completely normal"
I giggle at her guilty expression.
"In my opinion he didn't want us to talk to him about you just because it makes him suffer" the former Russian spy tries to console me.
"Or he's mad at me.He said some horrible things to me when he left.Horrible but true.You should have seen the pain in his eyes.I hurt him too much Nat, there is no longer any future for the two of us" I whisper.
I feel a lump in my throat.
Natasha stands up and looking at me from above she smiles at me with renewed optimism.
"I repeat what I have been telling you for months.Talk to each other.Now that time has healed your wounds a little, you just have to talk to each other.There is still a lot of love between you.It's not over!I'm sure" she approaches the bedroom door and opens it a few inches.
"Anyway, no more sadness now.I'm going to get some snacks and something to drink, we have a very long list of things to do on my last night as a free woman" adds Nat winking at me and leaving me alone with my thoughts.
Over the past six months, I've been focusing a lot on myself.
I went to the analysis and thanks to Doctor Tancredi I managed to deal with many of my unsolved problems.
I was able to mourn and free myself from the ghosts of my past.
Including Bucky too.
I had the ability and strength to analyze my feelings for him by understanding how madly I am still in love with him.
But I never got to the next step.
Talk to him.
I lied to the doctor saying I would do it in attendance when he returned to New York.
But now that he's really here, in the room across from mine, I don't even have the courage to walk out of my room.
God only knows how the hell I'll do tomorrow.
Tomorrow I will be forced to see him again, we will be together at the altar.
We will be forced to interact and I absolutely don't know what the hell to do.
I throw myself on the bed only to get up right away to keep my hair from getting crushed.
Damn curlers.
I wait patiently for Nat to return even though she is taking too long.
I approach the door determined to go find her when I hear giggling in the hallway.
I approach, leaning my ear against the door.
"Hey you!What the hell are you doing?Steve goes back to your room and you go back to yours"
I close my eyes.
It's Bucky's voice.
"Ugh!You're a pain in the ass Barnes!" Natasha exclaims.
I can imagine her adorable pout.
"Stop that!It is only for one night.Tomorrow you will have plenty of time to flirt.Now go away Romanoff!" he exclaims.
His words are followed by a slamming door.
I open the door and put my hands on my hips looking at her with an incredulous frown.
She just shrugs and goes back into the room.
"We were just kissing" she justifies herself.
I smile.
Steve and Natasha are truly inseparable.
I know it may seem exaggerated but I am perfectly aware that this night that they will have to pass apart will not be easy for them.
"Come on Juliet!Tomorrow you will have your Romeo all to yourself" I tell her, giggling and pushing her against the sofa where we will spend a few hours watching a list of romantic films.
I smile thinking back to when Natasha called me Juliet.
It was the next morning that I spent the night with Bucky for the first time.
"Go headed Juliet, I have to have a chat with your Romeo" she told me.
And in the end, just like the two unfortunate lovers, we never got our happy ending.
While we watch TV we put on polish and get lost in futile chatter.
Between laughter and excited tears we spend the evening in total serenity.
I get up from the sofa stretching my back and yawning, Nat imitates my gestures.
"It's really late.Maybe we should go to sleep" I suggest.
I would never want Natasha to arrive at the church tomorrow with dark circles from having little sleep.
My friend checks the clock on the wall and she agrees with me.
Together we lay down on the bed.
"Natasha?"
"Tell me?" she replies with a yawn.
"How does it feel to marry the love of your life?"
The redhead next to me chuckles turning on her side.
I put myself in the same position as her.
Face to face, even though the room is half dark, I can see a radiant smile spread across her face.
"It's the best feeling in the world.Try to imagine a hot bath, your favorite pizza and a night of stratospheric sex.Do you know the emotions you would feel in every single moment?Well, add it all up and multiply it by a thousand and you get what I feel right now.It is joy, excitement and serenity.It's the right thing to do"
My skin shivers at her words.
I take advantage of the darkness to allow the tears to flow from my eyes and die suffocated on the white cotton of the sheets.
I try to stifle my pain but a slight treacherous sob bares me.
"I miss Bucky.I miss him so much" I sob.
I admit it hiding my face in my hands.
Natasha immediately gets up on one elbow turning on the light of the lamp on the bedside table.
"Oh honey, please don't make me cry" my best friend sniffles.
"Come here" she tells me, drawing me to her and making me rest my head on her chest.
"I'm sorry Nat, I'm really so sorry.This night is supposed to be for you...I don't want to spoil it with my problems" I whimper at her on her soft chest.
Her sweet vanilla scent makes me feel protected, safe.
"Don't say that" my best friend scolds me.
"You are my best friend and you must never hide your true feelings from me.Never.It's clear?"
We remain silent as Natasha continues to caress my back with slow and gentle movements.
But the silence is interrupted by Natasha's voice, she talks with her lips resting on my hair.
"You have to tell him Amaya.And there is no better chance than tomorrow"
I sigh, barely nodding.
Life is so funny.
He loved me and I hated him.
Now I love him and he no longer.
Right person at the wrong time.
This seems to be the mantra of my life.
We both slowly slip into a deep sleep.
When I open my eyes, the sun's rays are powerfully lighting up the room.
I turn to my left side and the first thing I see is Natasha.
She is still sleeping.
She is on her stomach and her arms under the pillow, she snores lightly making me laugh.
I grab my phone to check the time.
It is 11 in the morning.
Okay, it's time to get up.
The wedding will be at 3pm so we still have plenty of time to prepare.
I get up and go to the bathroom and begin to get rid of all the curlers.
I am already anxiously thinking about everything I have to do.
Stark said he will send a car to pick up me and Natasha at 1pm.
From the tower to the cute little church that the two future spouses have chosen it will take about an hour, this will ensure that we will arrive in an hour of advance and we will be able to finish dressing and getting ready in all calm.
My hair falls soft and wavy on my shoulders and with my fingers I arrange the locks in an orderly manner.
No hairstyle for me, I'll just wear a pearl headband and little old pink silk roses that will recall the bride's bouquet.
I switch to makeup leaving it as natural as possible in order to be in harmony with the simplicity of the dress.
I will wear a long one-shoulder dress in soft antique pink silk.
It will have a wide skirt, with a slit that will rise above the knee and a pearl belt positioned just below my breasts.
On my feet I will wear jeweled sandals with a vertiginous heel.
I look in the mirror losing myself for a moment in old and sweet memories of Bucky.
For a moment, for a single moment, the memories don't hurt and I bask in them with pleasure.
I remember that wonderful evening when Bucky took me to that wonderful restaurant on the Hudson.
And the sex that came after.
God!
The sex with Bucky.
That was the best night of my life.
I smile sadly and take a deep breath I force myself and go back to the room where my friend is still sleeping.
I take off my pajamas and wear a black tank top and a pair of black shorts, a comfortable and easy outfit to take off without ruining my make-up and hair.
I look at the clock.
There are a few minutes to noon.
I approach Nat sitting next to her.
"Hey Sleeping Beauty!It's time to get up.Your prince is waiting for you" I whisper softly to her.
Her eyes flicker a little and then slowly reopen.
She rolls onto her back and stretching her arms upwards she yawns loudly.
"What time is it?" she asks me rubbing her eyes.
"Twelve o'clock.The car will be here in an hour.Let's get up, I'll help you" and so extending my hand I help her get up and we go to the bathroom where I help her with her hair and make-up.
"God Natasha!You're beautiful" I whimper trying not to cry, I don't want me to run my mascara and then find myself forced to do it all over again.
Natasha looks in the mirror with a radiant smile on her face and shining eyes.
Her gorgeous red hair is pulled up high in a composed and elegant bun.
In her hair, here and there, there are small pearls to embellish them.
The makeup is simple except for a shiny red lipstick.
I dubbed it the Natasha Romanoff touch.
"Thanks Amaya" she whispers turning and hugging me.
"You don't have to thank me.You are beautiful, I have not done anything" I replied.
I walk away from her, gently stroking her face with my fingertips.
"Come on and dress up!It's almost time to go" I tell her and after a few moments JARVIS's voice resounds in the air.
"Agent Snow?The car sent by Mr. Stark has just arrived"
"Thanks JARVIS.We arrive immediately"
Nat and I exchange a look, emotion and joy shine through our faces.
We are almost there.