Dangerous Game

CHAPTER 7

Amaya POV

I open my eyes and immediately notice the dark room, I look around for any source of light that helps me understand what time it is.
I am lying on my stomach, I am on my bed and I am naked.
Completely naked.
I try to get up but something hard and cold is pressing on my back.
I turn my head to the other side and find Bucky in front of me.
He is sleeping, a relaxed expression adorns his beautiful face and his Vibranium arm is on my back.
His hand lies lazily on my butt.
He looks so relaxed, so sweet.
There is no trace of that hostile and suspicious frown that characterizes his person.
He seems at peace.
A wave of pleasure breaks between my thighs, I rub them against each other without finding the relief I so crave.
I would like to jump on him even though he is sleeping but I try to let my lust cool off just because he looks really tired.
His deep dark circles are proof of this.
I try to stretch my arm to reach the night stand next to me, with my fingertips I touch my smartphone so I try to grab it but unfortunately it escapes from my grip reaching the ground with a dry thud.
Bucky immediately jerks off with a sudden movement, sits up while his haunted gaze wanders vacantly across the room.
I sit up too but my movement triggers a violent reaction in him.
He turns his gaze, glassy and absent, towards me and his hand in Vibranium tightens around my throat.
I try not to panic and with a broken voice from lack of oxygen I whisper his name.
“James…please James.It's me,  Amaya!”
He keeps looking at me as if he doesn't see me, his finger grip increases.
I put my hands around his wrist, I know I don't have the strength to push him away but the survival instinct pushes me to try.
“Please James let me go.It's okay, you're safe”
My eyes are filling with tears, I don't know how long I will resist before I pass out.
I know it's not his fault, it's his nightmares.
Those damned nightmares that sometimes affect me too when my subconscious decides that I have to relive some of my murders.
Crimes I committed in full conscience so I can't even imagine the extent of his pain or the intensity of his nightmares.
But he has to wake up.
Everything happens quickly, an idea crosses my mind and I immediately put it into action.
I bring my head back and using all the strength I can muster I give him a head on the nose.
I can feel his bone crash into my head and immediately afterwards his fingers let go of my neck.
I move away from him and in the heat of my movements I fall out of bed.
I am shaken by an uncontrollable cough, my chest rises and falls furiously.
With one hand I pull the blanket towards me to cover my naked body, I curl up near the wall, scared that he may not have woken up and that he may return to the attack.
But immediately after I hear him cursing, he puts his hands to his face trying to stop the bleeding.
I breathe a sigh of relief.
He's James again.
He's my James again.
“What the fuck is going on?Why the hell…”
But the question dies on his lips when he notices my figure on the floor.
My hands are at my throat and a few coughing spasms still shake my chest.
“Fuck!No no no!Fuck!"
Bucky exclaims, rising like a fury and throwing himself at my feet.
“Are you okay Amaya?Oh shit!I'm sorry, I'm really sorry!I...I..."
He seems to be panicking, he can't finish a sentence.
He is completely naked with a trickle of blood that, starting from his nose, dirties his chin and chest, kneels at my feet and begins to gesticulate with his hands as if he wants to touch me to help me but does not do it for fear of my reaction.
"James" I croak in a hoarse voice.
At the sound of my voice his eyes fill with remorse and disgust, disgust at what he has done.
Towards himself.
I can read the anger he feels in his own eyes.
I have to tell him something before his mind begins to navigate the stormy waters.
I clear my throat.
Fuck it hurts!So much!
I try again and in the end I speak.
“It's okay James.Nothing happened”
I look for his hands which he promptly pulls away.
"It's not your fault it was just a nightmare"
I approach him more decisively and use the blanket I was using to cover myself to wipe off his bloodstained face.
He remains motionless and he watches me as if I could disappear at any moment.
“I'm sorry about the low blow Barnes.I had no choice"
I try to apologize but he violently grabs my hand that is trying to clean up the mess that is his face, he pushes it away from his face and with a harsh voice he exclaims "Don't you dare excuse yourself, don't try!Don't try to make me feel better”
So saying he lets go of my hand as if it burned and getting up he goes angrily to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.
Shit.
I get up sighing, my legs just shake.
The head is spinning a bit due to the short and recent lack of oxygen.
I stop for a moment and take a few more deep breaths, when the room seems to stop spinning I pick up my panties on the floor and grab an old t-shirt from above the chair.
I head for the bathroom door and without knocking I enter.
The bathroom seems empty at first glance but the sound of the water in the shower attracts my attention.
I don't think twice and throwing open the door to the shower box, I immerse myself under the jet of water, holding tight to Bucky's chest.
His arms hang lifeless along his body, his face turned right under the water.
"Fuck!" I exclaim in contact with the icy water.
But I don't move away, my arms are wrapped around his big and muscular torso, my fingers just brush against his back.
I rest my head on his chest where I can feel his heart beating furiously.
"Go away from here.You'll get sick"
His voice is a barely audible whisper.
I shake my head against his broad chest.
"No...I don't...I don't care" I stammer shaken by chills.
"It's not...it's not your fault" I reply.
I leave him a kiss on the chest, right above the bullet scar.
I stand up on tiptoe and kiss his jaw.
With trembling hands I grab his hand in Vibranium, the one that a little while before was holding my throat, and I bring it to my lips.
His astonished gaze falls on me.
I look at him with intensity, I want him to understand how sincere I am.
"It's not your fault" I repeat.
His free hand lifts up and closes the water.
Thanks God!
My soaked shirt makes my teeth chatter uncontrollably.
Our fingers intertwine and he drags me out of the shower, with extreme delicacy he frees me from my wet clothes and wraps me in my bathrobe.
He just wraps a towel around his hips.
He makes me sit on the edge of the large bathtub and after brushing my hair he starts drying it using the hairdryer.
I remain to observe him rapt all the time, the delicacy and sweetness of every gesture of him make me feel the butterflies in my stomach.
I look at him through the mirror positioned right in front of us but his gaze never meets mine, it stays fixed on my hair.
I sigh silently enjoying the heat that the hairdryer gives off and my muscles tense, with shock from what happened and from the cold water, they begin to relax.
I close my eyes to enjoy this moment.
Bucky continues to stroke my hair and once it is dry he brushes it again.
I lull myself into the sweet touch of him.
After a few minutes I open my eyes and find him staring at me.
But he's not staring at me, he's staring at the purple shadow around my neck.
That shadow that has the shape of his hand.
I get up quickly and turn to hug him.
I close my arms around his neck.
"It's not your fault.Please don't walk away from me” I whimper against the skin of his neck.
His hands close around my shoulders and push me away, so I can see his face.
“I'm sorry Amaya.It hadn't happened to me for a long time now.I think it happened because of the stress that took me away from sleep in the last week" admits Bucky, his gaze wandering around the room lingering in my eyes for only a few seconds.
He is embarrassed.
“You know I would never hurt you.Never!You know that, right?"
His question is fraught with desperation.
I approach his body again, holding on to him with all my strength.
“I know James.You don't need to tell me”
I lift my face and we look into each others eyes.
I lift a hand and stroke the tip of his nose.
"I'm sorry about your nose babe" I smile embarrassed.
"Nah...super soldier, remember?"
We both smile and finally, after what seems like an eternity, our lips touch again.
A sweet kiss.
Then the former Winter Soldier wraps his mighty arms around my waist and lifts me so that my feet no longer touch the ground and takes me back to my room, gently lying me on the bed.
He kisses the top of my head and goes to my closet where he pulls out some pants and a t-shirt, helps me get dressed and then grabs his boxers and pants and gets dressed too.
“I'm going now.See you soon,ok?"
I nod speechless at Bucky's voice.
I feel the panic making room in my heart.
He is about to open the door, he will leave soon and I need to know something.
I hear my voice whispering a pathetic “You're not leaving me, right?You...you still want me?"
He turns to me with a raised eyebrow.
He looks incredulous at my words.
He goes back and kneeling at my eye level, he grabs my face in his hands and kisses me again.
But this time it's not just a simple brushing of lips.
His mouth claims mine with possession, I feel his tongue push down almost to my throat.
He comes off too soon for my liking and he looks at me intently, flames of ardor shining in his eyes.
“Oh doll, you won't get rid of me that easily.And then the monster is me...you should run away from me” he whispers on my lips.
His words make my heart tighten, both our eyes are wet and sad.
"There is nothing wrong with you.You're not a monster.You are my beautiful and sweet man”
I hear my voice tremble as I speak.
“See you later doll”
His sweet breath tickles my face and makes me hungry, hungry for his body.
We kiss again.
"Now I have to go and talk to Natasha, I have some shortcomings to be forgiven" I sigh.
I'm really worried about how my friend will react to my apologies.
"Everything will be fine my little robin, do not worry"
I nod, blushing at the sound of that sweet nickname.
Bucky walks away but I grab him by the arm, he looks at my grip and then points his crystalline gaze into mine.
"Would you like to spend the night with me?" I ask him without shame.
A corner of his lips lifts giving life to a mischievous smile.
"You can count on it"
His answer is loaded with obscene promises.
One last quick kiss and James is already out of my room.
I sigh.
I get out of bed and after grabbing my phone I make my way to Nat's room.
God send me good.
As I walk towards her room, on the other side of the corridor, Steve and Tony appear.
I can't help it but my eyes fill with tears, I quicken my pace and throw myself into Tony's arms.
“Hey kid!Glad you are here.I hope you are back to stay"
"Yes Tony, I will stay.I'm certainly not done stressing you out” I reply laughing and breaking away from our embrace.
I feel Steve's eyes on me so I turn around and hug him too.
“I'm sorry I didn't pick up your calls” I whisper on his chest.
He pets my hair.
"Don't worry.Everything is fine.I'm glad you're back”
I squeeze him a little tighter and then let him go.
"Where is Natasha?" I ask, clearing my throat and running the back of my hand over my eyes.
I don't even remember the last time I shed so many tears, in fact I remember it...I was just a little girl and I had just lost the most important people in my life.
I shake my head to dismiss this thought.
Steve and Tony look at each other then turn in my direction.
"What's up?" I ask, then I realize.
"She's really pissed off, isn't she?"
Tony smiles sadly.
"Do you want to blame her?She is your best friend and you cut her off like it was nothing"
Ladies and gentleman this is Tony Stark.
Always straight to the point.
I look down, mortified.
"C'mon Tony!Don't be so hard on her!" Steve berates his friend.
I feel Steve's hand resting on my shoulder and I look up into his sweet baby blue eyes.
“Listen Amaya, Nat is angry that's true but she doesn't hate you.Go to her and talk to her, she is in our room right now.And if I can give you some advice, you trie to be 100% honest with her.She will appreciate it and she will forgive you faster.Trust me”
Steve's smile gives me the strength to face Nat.Tony winks at me and they both continue on their way.
I take a deep breath and head to the bedroom door Steve and Natasha share.
I knock and wait.
After a few seconds the door opens and my best friend's face is all I see.
Her beautiful green eyes so similar to mine are hard.
Shit, she's really mad.
"Can I...can I enter?"
She continues to stare at me without saying a word, crossing her arms across her chest.
I begin to feel uncomfortable, I look down on my hands that I am incessantly torturing at the moment.
The silence continues so I decide to go away.
“I…I just wanted to apologize.I'm sorry for how I behaved, I lost my mind.I just needed to be alone with my thoughts and…”
“ Should I hit Barnes?” my friend interrupts me.
My eyebrows are raised, the curiosity to understand her words is great.
"Why would you ever do that?" I reply trying to hold back the laughter.
“Because it's his fault that you want to leave”
“I'm not leaving Nat.And no, you don't have to hit Barnes.I already thought about it a little while ago”
Her crystalline laughter is music to my ears and so without being able to do without it I join her.
We look into each others eyes and a moment later we are embracing each other with all the strength we have in our bodies.
"I'm sorry" I whisper through tears.
“Don't think about it anymore Amaya.It's okay”
Nat breaks away from our embrace and grabs my hand and pulls me to her room.
“Come inside and tell me why you beat up Bucky.And don't leave out any detail”
I burst out laughing and follow her.
We both sit on the bed, facing each other with our legs crossed.
I spend the next hour talking about how I felt overwhelmed by what happened on my mission, what happened with James.
Natasha listens carefully without ever interrupting me, she lets me vent like only a true friend can.
Then I arrive at Bucky's nightmare and her eyes widen with fear.
Her gaze immediately rests on my neck.
"Fuck!"
It is the first word that has come out of her mouth since we sat on this bed.
"How are you?" she asks me worried.
"Good.I guess…”
Natasha watches me closely.
I feel compelled to justify James.
“It's not his fault, Nat”
“I know, I'm not saying that.But you have every right to be scared.You don't have to act as a super woman”
Her words make me smile.
"Don't worry Romanoff!I know how to get by, I have my tricks up my sleeve”
We smile at each other.
“Steve told me about his nightmares.As far as I know he hasn't had any in quite a while” Nat tells me after a few seconds.
"It's the same thing Bucky told me" I reply back.
"According to him it is due to the stress of everything he has been through in the last few days"
We remain silent for a while.
"Do you think I should let he go?" I ask embarrassed as I watch my fingers follow imaginary lines on the blanket.
"And why would you ever do that?"
“I don't know…it all seems so wrong…”
“Wrong for who Amaya?If you really care about each other, you just have to grit your teeth and wait for the worst to pass"
I smile at her shyly.
Maybe she is right.
Once he leaves Sharon things will get better, of course it won't be easy at first but over time everything will settle down.
Or at least I hope so.
"Ok, now stop whining" says my best friend throwing herself at me, we both fall on the bed and start laughing like two stupid.
“I missed you”
“I missed you too Snow and now that you're here you have to help me plan Steve's birthday.There is only a week left and I don't know what the hell to come up with”
More than a request, it's seems like an order.
"Don't worry, we'll invent something"