War of Hearts || Reign

69- Forgiveness

June 18th, 1577

The next morning I woke up with empty thoughts. I felt bad.

But I had to do something, something I should have done years ago.

I had my chambermaids wash and dress me and then left the room.

I walked towards a room that I hadn't visited in years but where I spent a lot of my time in the past.

I stepped into the room and made a curtsy, also something I hadn't done in years.

"Bianca, you're back already." Mary asked in surprise. She was sitting behind her table eating breakfast alone. I remembered that we used to have breakfast together. Before I ruined our friendship.

"Yes I'm back, do you have a moment I'd like to talk to you, alone." I looked at her ladies-in-waiting. Mary nodded and motioned her ladies-in-waiting to leave the room.

I sat down opposite her and fiddled with my chain. I still wore my mother's necklace around my neck.

"I wanted to apologize for the things I did to you in the past." I said, I looked up.

Mary had a calm expression on her face. "You've felt now what I felt then, haven't you? When you found out Jane was in Francis bed?". I nodded. "I forgave you years ago. You and Francis were in love and I intervened with my alliance and so-called love for Francis. It's just a shame you treated me like that."

"How else would you want me to treat you if you tried to kill my son?" I bounced back. She turned pale. "You knew about that?"

I smiled briefly "Who do you think killed your uncles? It was Francis and I. Did you really think we would let our son live in danger?"

Mary stared at me and then suddenly started laughing out loud "All this time I thought both my uncles were just unlucky but you killed them? I should have known better. But why did you let me live?"

I smiled "You are a queen and untouchable. Margaret was too young to be queen by the way and I was afraid she would lose Scotland so I decided to make only your uncles pay."

Mary smiled again "Do you remember when I was just here and you came to teach me and my ladies-in-waiting a short lesson about court life. You said my ladies-in-waiting had to watch out for the men at court because they want you only as mistress and that never ends well. Look, have you learned from your own lesson?"

I shook my head. I wish I had followed my own words.

"I forgive you for the death of my uncles and I hope you can forgive me too for what I did to you.. to you." She said

I smiled "I forgive you."

~

When I left the room again I saw Leonora and Charlotte walking down the halls together. When they saw me she ran towards me.

"Maman, you're back." Charlotte cheered, I smiled "Just for now I'm leaving again tonight."

Her face darkened for a moment and then she smiled again. "Nora and I were talking about going to the palace in Paris, is that allowed."

I smiled, "I promise to take you both to Paris when I get back." She nodded happily and they ran away together.

I walked back to my room and sat on the edge of my bed.

Time and again saw in Francis and Jane together. How long has this been going on? Why had no one told me.

I had mourned my son, my sister and my father. I had been depressed but Francis didn't seem interested because as soon as I was gone he went to bed with my lady-in-waiting.

Even Mary had known.

I felt a rush of sadness pass through me and I gasped for fresh air. I had to go outside.

I ran into the hallway and pushed everyone out of the way as I ran to the stables.

I picked up a random horse that was saddled and rode out of the palace at a brisk pace and rode into the palace estate.

My thoughts took over and my eyes filled with tears. I was finally alone, except for the few forest guards who wandered around somewhere, and could finally express my sorrow.

I screamed. Everything had to come out.

My tears blinded my view but my screams didn't stop.

I had been quiet for the past six months. I had tried to process my grief in silence, but it didn't seem to help.

I screamed again and the horse I was riding jumped up and started to rear.

I tried to grab the reins again but because I wasn't wearing any riding clothes and no gloves, it slipped out of my hands and I fell off the horse.

My head hit the hard ground and everything went black in front of me.