Beyond Redemption

Chapter Seventeen

"So, here I am, all by myself, thinking of you – no one else. There's a feeling inside and as hard as I try, it just won't go away." — Angel Hema.

Phoenix's POV

Derived from the Latin word addictus which means "enslaved by" or "devoted to," addiction is a condition that slowly manifests itself within the mind and body, making it nearly impossible to live without that necessary draw.

It has been proven time and time again that addiction is in fact a killer. But despite its frightening truth, more and more people fall prey to this manipulative murderer.

Why?

Because whatever it may be that gives you that spectacular high,  makes the world seem less of a bad place. It fills you with a feeling of euphoria and a sense of belonging, even if it's just for a moment. Because that one glorious moment will always, without fail, be worth the excruciatingly horrific crash. Always.

Contrary to popular belief, however, it isn't always first taste that gets you hooked. No one ever starts out with the intention of becoming addicted. It is something that steadily grows and develops like a cancer before it spreads to every corner and crevice of the body. A cancer that has grazed my very soul. It never stayed long enough to devour my body but it has left emptiness and unpleasantness in its wake.

They say not all addicts are addicted to drugs. And that's true because even though I used to hit three bars in one night, snort coke and other substances that shall not be named off of many hookers' asses, drugs and alcohol weren't the things that gave me that ultimate high. I was one of the lucky few in that regard.

Anyways...

After last night I finally understood why people thought the initial intake was the killer. As a matter of fact, I believe them wholeheartedly now.

Because the very first time, my lips touched hers. I knew right then and there that Scarlet Rose would become the most addictive drug I would ever have the chance to taste. And the prospect of becoming hooked on her touch, her taste, her smell, her goddamn body, filled me with a sense of uncontrollable exuberance. Forcing the logical part of my brain to forget about the equal possibility of a horrendous comedown.  

I lay on my bed, arms folded behind my head with my back against my mattress and my feet propped up on the pillow. If someone were to enter my room, they'd think I was carefully examining the intricacies of my ceiling. But my mind was far from it despite my scrutinizing stare. The only thing that occupied my mind was the thoughts of the recent events that took place in Scarlet's bedroom.

In the past twenty-four hours, the memory of her petite figure clad in nothing but a flimsy, Spiderman  t-shirt replayed more times in my head than I care to admit. Every curve and detail of her body was made visible to my hungry eyes and her tits were practically begging me to suck them. Her nipples were an edible, pinkish-brownish color as they stood erect and proud before me. There was no way in hell that she was anything less than a double d.

To my dismay, she eventually changed into a more appropriate-looking sweatshirt after a moment of embarrassment. But I could still see the outline of her boobs and in spite of my unbelief in a higher being, I found myself wondering if a god truly existed because the sight of her seemed almost otherworldly.

However, I was definitely certain that a God existed when she leaned into my arms and closed that annoying space between our mouths. Because I saw a glimpse of heaven.

I want to say that nothing happened when our lips touched. No spark, no firework, no flame, no nothing.

But I'd just be lying to myself, because when I finally got to feel her mouth against mine, my body, quite literally, came alive. My world exploded with color. Her lips felt so soft and supple against mine. My hands shook with an interminable need to touch every inch of her smooth skin.