Beyond Redemption

Chapter Twenty-Two

"Selfishness must always be forgiven you know because there is no hope of a cure." Jane Austen, Mansfield.

Scarlet's POV

I was never a fan of the blame game but I knew that it was my fault. I knew that all the blame should have been placed on me for this one. At the back of my mind, I knew that I should have never pushed him to tell me about anything he wasn't comfortable with yet I completely went against better judgment and pushed.

And once again I went against my number one rule. DON'T TALK ABOUT PERSONAL LIVES.

The concept of rules and regulations ceased to exist in the company of Phoenix Knight because I couldn't seem to follow simple instructions that I so clearly outlined.

But I had a valid excuse as to why I went against my better judgment. Somewhere along the way, Phoenix and I developed this unspoken bond. Some part of me knew it from the very beginning because things felt seemingly easier with him. I could say sentences upon sentences without a single stutter, sometimes I even found myself babbling. With him, I didn't have to make up conversation topics in advance just to make sure I seemed interesting.

Even with his intimidating presence, everything felt different. Granted I did get nervous. But it was a different kind of nervousness. One that made me feel warm inside. A type of nervousness that made me want him closer, filling me in every way.

Tuesday we were both finally aware of this tacit bond, making the atmosphere lighter and welcoming to varying topics of conversation. That's why it was so easy for me to accidentally push boundaries causing me to break my most important rule.

However, every action in life had consequences. And I sure did face mine.

Gone was the easy-going, flirtatious Phoenix I had grown to adore. In his place was someone unrecognizable. Someone who scared me, terrified me even.

I understood why he reacted the way he did though. Because if I were in his position and someone pestered me with questions about the things I faced as a child and continued to battle with, then there was no guarantee that I would have reacted any differently than he did. I may not have known the extent of his pain but I knew how it felt when someone called forth bad memories. And it wasn't all rainbows and unicorns. Trust me I knew.

But it was still very much an alarming situation. Judging from his reaction, I hit a nerve. A very sensitive nerve. He, like myself, must have had some deep-rooted, unchecked feelings and I was the most unlucky person to have stirred them up.

His eyes were darker than I'd ever seen before. This time it wasn't filled with lust or humor but anger and rage. The sight was terrifying as he stood there with clenched fists and the evident throbbing of his veins in his neck. I froze not knowing what to do or say. All I knew was that I wanted to get as far away from him as possible and run to the comfort of my bedroom.

Looking back, however, I should have done something to comfort him, telling him that it was okay. I literally could have done anything else but drive him away.

I felt like an idiot.

Phoenix had made certain to avoid me all week. I couldn't even blame him, he had every right to after I accused him of being emotionless and empty, pestering him for answers I had no right to know then kicking him out of my house like he was some kind of criminal.

Gosh, I wish I could time travel.

I kept to myself for most of the week. Lia being the wonderful friend she was, respected my decision and gave me the space I needed. But it was now Friday and Phoenix and I couldn't continue ignoring each other because I needed to graduate. So I already decided to apologize right after school so there would be no tension between us. Well, bad tension.