I'm Waiting - VRVR

ᵖʳᵉᵛⁱᵉʷ

ᵃⁿʸ ⁿᵉʷ ʳᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ʳᵉᶠᵉʳ ᵗᵒ ˢᵗᵒʳʸ ᵈᵉˢᶜʳⁱᵖᵗⁱᵒⁿ ᶠᵒʳ ᵇᵉᵗᵗᵉʳ ʳᵉᵃᵈⁱⁿᵍ ᵃᶜᶜᵒʳᵈⁱⁿᵍ ᵗᵒ ᵗʰᵉ ᵉˣᵃᶜᵗ ᵒʳᵈᵉʳ ᵗᵒ ᵃᵛᵒⁱᵈ ᵃⁿʸ ᶜᵒⁿᶠᵘˢⁱⁿᵍ. ⁱ'ᵛᵉ ᵗʳⁱᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ ᶠⁱˣ ⁱᵗ. ᵗʰᵃⁿᵏ ʸᵒᵘ ᶠᵒʳ ʰᵃʳᵈʷᵒʳᵏ ᵃⁿᵈ ᶠᵒʳᵍⁱᵛᵉ ᵐᵉ.

*****

'Knock. Knock'.

"Kangmin ah, are you okay?".

I raise my head and turn to the door room. I know it's Hoyoung hyung but i'm too scared even to move my leg near the door.

"Kangmin ah, it's okay. We're all here. You know you can rely on us, right?".

Hoyoung hyung's begging calmly. His voice nearly making me burst into tears.

Yes, i need someone to rely on. I need someone to burst out all my confession. I need someone to hug me. I want to feel that warm again. The warm hug that i missed for a long time.

"Kangmin ah, can i come in?".

I raise my head again looking at the door that knocking nonstop from the outside.

I can't stop my heart that beating so fast. Even my hands that trembling so hard. Even to move my legs to bring my body everywhere. I can't think straight. I can't control my body like i used to. Even to control it to open the door.

"Kangmin ah, we can hear all of your confession that stored in your heart. It's okay to cry infront of us. We're friends. We're your family. We need you. You need us".

I can't stay my head raised anymore. My eyes bursting a lot of tears. Again.

I stand slowly. I come near the door as my legs feel burden to bring my body around. My trembling hands slowly open the door.

As the door opened, i can see six people smiling calmly at me.

"Hyung...", i moan and finally fall to Hoyoung hyung's chest.

I can't stand it anymore then i'm finally hugging someone. I can feel that Hoyoung hyung's hugging me back. I'm crying hardly on his chest as my heart can't beating normally.

Honestly, i miss them. I miss their face. I miss having time with them. I really miss everything that i used to have.

I miss their warm hug. But....

This is not what i want to feel right now.

My eyes immediately stop crying. My heart beating really fast that i can't stand it.

I raise my head slowly. I let my hands down slowly letting that cold body. I walk back slowly.

As my head raised, i can see....

That smiley faces again.

I can feel my heart stop beating. And....

That voice.

"Kangminie, why do you look ashen? You must be sick".

"We should bring you to the hospital".

"You look like you can faint anytime, Kangmin ah".

"Oh my! Are you that sick?".

"You need to head to the front while walking. You might get fall".

"You shouldn't stretched your eyes that hard. It must be hurt".

"You abandoned us again, Kangmin ah. It's all you fault!

You're the one that started this up!

You need to feel this!

You need to feel how to be alone!

You need to feel how to do everything all by yourself!".

"Aaaarrrggghhh!!!!!".

I scream as much as i can. I shut my eyes tightly. I shut my ears strictly.

That smiley faces again.

That voices again.

Someone that blaming me.

Someone that made me terrified.

Someone that made me confused between dream and reality.

Someone that something.

"𝐼'𝑚 𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑑. 𝐼'𝑚 𝑠𝑜 𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑑".

****************************

ᵃⁿʸ ᵈⁱᶠᶠⁱᶜᵘˡᵗʸ ᵗᵒ ʳᵉᵃᵈ ᵃᶜᶜᵒʳᵈⁱⁿᵍ ᵗᵒ ᵗʰᵉ ᵒʳᵈᵉʳ, ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ʳᵉᶠᵉʳ ᵗᵒ ˢᵗᵒʳʸ ᵈᵉˢᶜʳⁱᵖᵗⁱᵒⁿ. ᵗʰᵃⁿᵏ ʸᵒᵘ