Haikyuu Oneshots And Theories

Kitchen Shopping -{KageHina}

There are some moments when spending money on your house isn't necessary. Like when you see a mirror that would like nice above the fireplace or when you want to install a shelf in the hallway. There are other moments when you really do need to spend money on your house. Like when your husband manages to not only destroy your oven but also destroy the dishwasher, the sink and the microwave.

Shoyo wasn't even too sure how Tobio had managed to do that. But he had. So that's why they were looking at new kitchens on a Thursday afternoon, once their respective coaches had let them off for the day. The saleswoman seemed just as confused as Shoyo, as to why these professional athletes were insisting on a new kitchen.

"This one, sirs, is a classic staple," She said, showing off the design. "High worktops, polished granite surfaces and wood-print floors. Comes with warm lighting but I'm sure you can change that at the desk." She beamed at them. "Do you like it?"

Tobio hummed, looking at the kitchen model. He walked in, looking at all the cupboards and drawers as if assessing their ability to hold things like he would assess a spiker.

Shoyo smiled at the saleswoman. "It is very nice."

She smiled back. "It's a more western design, y'know. If you're looking for Japanese designs, though, we do have a branch that I can show you-"

"It's very nice!" Tobio decided loudly. "Does it come with a stool?"

"Um, a what?"

"A stool? Or a step?" Tobio tried to gesture with his hands. "Maybe a mini ladder?"

She blinked at him, confused. "I-I'm sorry, sir, why would you need that in a kitchen?"

Tobio pointed at his husband. "For him."

There was a pause. "Tobio!" Shoyo shouted. "I'm not that short!"

"Yes, you are, dumbass," Tobio grunted. "You'd never be able to reach these countertops!"

Shoyo bristled. "Watch me!" He said, then took a running start and jumped. He landed squarely on one of the counters, glaring at Tobio. "See? I can get up here, easy!"

"Uh, sir, please don't jump onto the models-"

"Well, where will the food go, dumbass? We can't have you walking all over it!"

Shoyo looked around, thinking. Then he pointed. "We can put the food there because I can't jump into such a small gap."

"But then that defeats the point of you jumping! You need a stool, you moron!"

"You could pick me up," Shoyo tried, blinking innocently.

Tobio frowned. "You're heavy."

"Think of it like weightlifting, then."

"You wriggle too much."

"Advanced weightlifting."

Tobio's frown deepened. "But it wouldn't be weightlifting."

"Advanced human-lifting."

The saleswoman stepped forward nervously. "Sorry to interrupt, sirs; we do have other kitchens, with lower worktops, if you'd prefer. Please may you get off the counter?"

Shoyo hesitated. "Tobio, I'm going to jump. Will you catch me?"

"No, you moron. Catch yourself."

"I'm gonna jump!" Shoyo jumped off the counter, right into Tobio's arms. His husband put him down with a glare, that Shoyo beamed at. "You caught me!"

"You're a dumbass."

The saleswoman looked like she was forcing her smile now. "If you'd like to go this way, sirs, I'm sure we can find a model that suits all your needs-?"

"We'll take this one," Tobio decided. "It has a nice oven."

"I agree," Shoyo nodded. "It is a nice oven."

.:*:.

"Well, this is nice," Commented Shoyo, a week later, with a newly installed kitchen. "It's a very shiny kitchen."

"I have a present for you, Sho," Tobio said.

Shoyo looked over. "Eh? You do?"

His husband nodded and showed Shoyo a carrier bag, pulling out a wrapped box. "It's inside the box."

Shoyo took it, trying to feel its shape. When he shook it vigorously, he heard dull thunking."It goes 'thck'... What sort of present goes 'thck'?"

Tobio shrugged. "I don't know. Open it."

Shoyo opened it, then opened the cardboard box. that was wrapped. He found himself looking at a baby-stool, about thirty centimetres high. Tobio was already making a dash for the front door and Shoyo followed him, shouting very loudly.

Short but I like writing domestic KageHina with no plot. You can't sue me for short one-shots, I'm feeding you desperate things with my shitty writing u-u

(Honestly, I am sorry that a couple of these one-shots fall under 1500 words - I try to bring you semi-good-quality stuff and sometimes it doesn't work out)