Breaking The Wall Of His Insecurities ✔️

part : 29

"Why? Do you care for that person only who never cared for you? Can't we celebrate your birthday?", asked Anika in a heavy voice and looked at him with tears. Shivaay felt bad for his words but he doesn't want to enjoy that worst day in his life ever. He wiped her tears with his hands and intertwined thier hands. Anika smiled from inside because slowly he is accepting thier relationship.

"No but I don't like celebrating this day", Shivaay said. Anika rolled her eyes because he is going to understand directly. She need to do something she thought for a minute and replied

"Fine don't celebrate but I will celebrate my birthday it's on the same day", Anika replied

"Really? Do you think of me as a fool?", asked Shivaay sarcastically. He knows her birthday can't lie on the same date as his. He can understand her intentions very well.

"Ohh you are an astrologer, right? Then tell me when is my birthday", asked Anika leaving him speechless because he don't have an answer. He doesn't know when is her birthday as they never talked about this day. He looked aside finding an excuse but got nothing

"I said I am ready to celebrate my birthday then why are you lying?", asked Shivaay in a little loud voice Anika realised that her joke is going on another way so she told him that her birthday is not today. She thought he will ask her birth date but rather than asking he shouted at her

"Is it a time to joke? ",

"Don't shout I am sorry it's my mistake but I want you to celebrate your birthday that is the reason I said that", Anika replied. Shivaay nodded and closed his eyes to calm himself. His anger is his biggest enemy which can ruin everything

"Okay I'm sorry as well but how Omru will react and other family members? They always tried to make me agree to celebrate my birthday. How can I say a yes when I never said that for them? They will be hurt", asked Shivaay. This time he found it best to talk with her about what his heart wanted. He now understood that she is the only person who will hear him without teasing him

"They will be happy Shivaay. They always tried because they care for you and you are agreeing this year because you care for your mother and this diary", Anika assured him and pressed his palms softly. Shivaay nodded as her mere touch assured him that they will not mind anything. They will not think that he is changed after marriage. He stared at thier hands which look so beautiful now when she is holding his hand.

He find many things changed after marriage. Not only his tag of the bachelor but his everything as before his morning used to start with alarm. He used to do his work himself but now Anika is doing half of his work which does make him smile but this is making him lazy as well.

"Let's read further", said Anika and picked the diary From his stomach as Shivaay dropped the diary when he was talking with her

Today my Shivaay called me Mumma in his sweet voice. Only he is the one who can bring a smile to my face. Now I am habitual of Shakti's behaviour. He is never polite. He always comes toward me to complete his desires. I have understood it was never love. At least not from his side

He is 1½ years old now. He can walk but not more than one minute. I always tried making him understand that falling and growing up are a part of life. His cries always make me sad but he should fall to know what is life. I still remember when he was 7 months old he started crawling. I clicked his pictures too when he started walking for the first time. I want someone to call him best not a beast like his father

"Aww you are soo cute Shivaay", Anika said and touched his photograph which was attached to his diary. Shivaay looked toward his childhood pic and remembered his mother. How much she pampered him. How much she loved him but he can't give her back anything now. He wants to hug her and talk with her just like Omru but how? He wiped his fresh tears and replied to Anika as his cuteness doesn't matter to him when his mother is no more

"Read next rather than calling me cute", Shivaay said and flipped the next page. Anika frowned and looked at him. His wet eyelashes gave her a hint that he got emotional thinking about his mother. She can never take her place. She can just force him to forget her memories for a while

"Han I talked about childhood not now. Now you are not cute", Anika said with an attitude to change his mood. She feels so sad that the one who always takes care of his family is like a wall is broken from the inside. He is lonely even after having family

"Really? I am still cute. Girls are dying to marry me", Shivaay said

"Yes as you are still bachelor for them", Anika said glaring at him. She used to think that Shivaay will never talk like this but now she understood that every guy thinks of himself as a celebrity.

"I can tell everyone if you will allow", Shivaay said as looking at Anika's expression he understood that he said something which he shouldn't. Anika shooked her head as she doesn't want him to tell others about thier relationship now. She just wants to enjoy her present with him. She knows he will be her future too

"It's ok there is no need to hurry up. Just relax I was joking. You are still cute and handsome. You don't know what I felt when I met you for the first time and then in rituals, it was difficult for me to take my eyes off... From you", Anika stammered when she talked about him but completed her words as she know he will not think bad about her. At least not now. She told truth as his charm can make anyone fall for him

"Let's continue more", Anika said and looked towards the diary.

I am pregnant again. Shivaay is 6 years old. I don't know how he will react again. Only I know how I am surviving here just for Shivaay and now for this new life. It is very difficult to hide my emotions in front of family but I have to because of Shakti Ji. I stopped calling him using jii as he doesn't deserve it but It still hurt because I loved him.

I told Shakti and surprisingly he is happy with my pregnancy now then why did he behave like that with my Shivaay? He then said he want a girl. I don't know why but I will never let him beat my children. Don't know what type of enmity he is having with Shivaay

"He treated me as a rival", said Shivaay and closed his diary as he can't take more. Rest he knows few things. He can't go through the same pain again and again that too in front of Anika. He wants to read further alone as there at least he doesn't have to control his emotions

"Shivaay that was past. He never liked you because he was jealous of you. See aren't you opposite from him? So if he was alive then I think you would have supported me hana even if he denied it?", Anika asked and placed her head on his shoulder even though she is sleepy now. She doesn't want to watch him getting emotional because of her

"Yes as it's my duty", He replied

"That's it. He was jealous so stop thinking about him. See I believe you. I want you to forget those bitter memories. You are not a mistake. Think about mom at least", Anika said. She has to tell him this, again and again, to prove to him that he is not a mistake.

"Jealous of a child? That too before birth how? ", Asked Shivaay and pushed Anika softly because he need to take medicines. He talked about the past today so he knows he can have nightmares too. He walked towards the cupboard to take medicines. He always keeps sleeping medicines safe along with heart medicines. He took medicines with water and sat on the bed

"Don't know just understand me least I am trying to light your mood rather than demotivating you. I don't know how to make you laugh. Can we talk about something else? If you are not sleepy anymore", Anika complained like a child. Shivaay smiled as she behaved like her own self now not serious because she is his wife and daughter-in-law of this house

"Hmm.. yes we can", Shivaay said and layed beside her. He knows he will sleep soon because of the medicines but will try to talk at least for some time. This medicine does take time for him to sleep as he usually takes a light dose.

"Can I ask you something?", asked Shivaay softly. Anika nodded And whispered yes
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♥️✨ Thanks for your patience