mind games ⁀➷ s.j ✓

24

Two weeks have slowly and painfully past, Sunghoon and Heeseung have tried to comfort me by buying me stuffed animals and food. They've been hanging out with me every day, and I've been succeeding in hiding my actual emotions. I look okay on the outside and I look normal, but I'm still pretty sad about the whole thing with Jake and Jay.

I can't even think about forgiving Jake right now. I'm still trying to accept what happened. The betrayal and hurt inside of me lingers too strongly that I cannot even process trying to forgive Jake.

Sunghoon says that Jake truly feels bad and regrets it, and that he didn't know Jay was doing all of that seriously. When I last saw him, which was the day I found everything out, he did seem a bit sad and teary-eyed when I went off on him.

I don't know. I'm trying to not think about Jake right now. I hate that a part of me feels bad for going off on him, because I know that I 100% shouldn't.

But maybe he isn't in the wrong like Jay is, after all.

'You're just as bad as Jay is.'

I feel super terrible for saying that to Jake. I mean, it was the heat of the moment and I was angry at him, but I don't know if he really is at fault like Jay is.

I won't even get into details regarding what I'm thinking about when it comes to Jay.

All of my thoughts about Jay are harsh, mean, foul, and cruel. Resentment, anger, sadness, hatred... you name it.

I hate him so much.

It hurts even more that he was the one who created all of that. I will never forgive Jay for what he said about me and did to me.

He betrayed me and I know for a fact he will never feel sorry.

I was just disinfecting the kitchen counters when I got a text notification from Heeseung and Sunghoon in a group chat with only the three of us.

heeddeungie: Shiyeon you there ?

heeddeungie: Shiyeon?

penguinhoon: earth to shiyeon~~~

penguinhoon: maybe she's sleeping or something

heeddeungie: She doesn't take naps at 3 in the afternoon

penguinhoon: dude.. hyung... you're weird for remembering that .....

heeddeungie: Shut up it's not like that dumb ass

penguinhoon: uh huh. keep saying that, hyung. you're not fooling anyone ~~

heeddeungie: I will shove chopsticks up ur nostrils if you don't shut up

penguinhoon: not like that hasn't been done before

shiyeon: yo what's up guys

shiyeon: what do you guys want

heeddeungie: Oh my gosh finally you're here. I thought for a second you died

penguinhoon: SHIYEON I TRIEUD TJE NEW BOBa PLACR YOU TALKED ABOUR

shiyeon: how is it

penguinhoon: IT WAS SO GOODsf

heeddeungie: Sunghoon can you type like a normal human being???? -.-

penguinhoon: shut up hyung

heeddeungie: Who taught you to be disrespectful to your elders

penguinhoon: shiyeon did =:)

shiyeon: wtf no I didn't. i'll beat your ass sunghoon stop with these false accusations you know damn well I didn't teach you anything -.-