Outrun The World

Chapter 31

He could hear Nato's angry voice from the bathroom. The kid was yelling strings of words in Bisaya and he sounded upset, but Mo Guan Shan sat motionless on the toilet seat, staring at the white wall inside the pristine bathroom.

It was cruel. He Cheng said something so cruel. He thought the guy was cool but without He Tian around, he's just another monster trampling down on everything, who didn't even care if he's hurting people along the way.

He Tian would never let people treat him that way.

Mo Guan Shan buried his face in his hands, calling He Tian's name as if he was conjuring a spell. He was unquestionably too dependent on the man now to ever consider living a life all alone, away from everyone.

He wanted to run away again. Run away from everyone and everything, go somewhere even more remote than that place, to some island without phones. Escape everything, start all over again.

Outrun the world, be a fool and chase the horizon like a dog who chases its tail, until he finds the right place for him.

But then at present, he's painfully aware of the reality that no matter where he ended up, his past and his problems would always catch up to nibble on his heels as he slept. No one could get rid of his shadow. He couldn't just keep on running away, especially if he wanted He Tian by his side forever.

Unlike him, He Tian has a brilliant future waiting for him.

"Kuya Shan, please open the door," Nato called, voice now even and controlled. It surprised Mo Guan Shan how calm he sounded even after having a shouting match over the phone.

"Don't worry, Nato. I'm not about to do anything stupid," he answered, wiping his face with his palms before he buried the heels of his palms on his eye sockets to keep himself from bawling. 

"Kuya He Tian told me that even if you say something like that, I shouldn't just buy it and leave you alone on your own."

Mo Guan Shan sighed before he stood up and opened the bathroom door. Nato, who looked like he was holding in his breath, sighed in relief when he emerged.

"Sorry for making you worry."

"Uhm, I can. . .I guess I can give you a hug if you need it," Nato offered with an awkward smile. Even if he said that, he's holding his arm across his body like he's unsure of what to do next.

"We both need it," Mo Guan Shan said and embraced the boy as tight as he could. The boy stiffened but he relaxed and patted his back. It was obvious that he wasn't used to this kind of gesture. "I'm sorry. This day is a fucking disaster."

"There were slices of it that we actually enjoyed, so it's not entirely hopeless," Nato said when they separated

 The boy beamed at him. "I'll try sleeping in this freakishly huge bed."

"I guess I'll do that too," Mo Guan Shan answered. He peered at his oversized watch and saw that it was still three in the afternoon but the sky outside looked dark and bleak. What shitty weather to have in such a shitty situation.

"If I really fall asleep, please don't do something that would make me blame myself for the rest of my life," Nato said in a quiet voice. He's already lying on the bed with the thick blanket covering half of his face.

"Promise. I love He Tian too much to even wanna die right now," he answered, crawling on his side of the bed. He tucked both of his hands under his head and stared at the ceiling. "Nato, I will tell you what's going on, okay? I know you're a smart kid and you'll probably understand me, but I won't take it badly if you decide it's best to not be friends anymore."