Is This A So Called "Isekai"?

Chapter 11 - Guilt, Picnic and a Pool Party

Currently in the kitchen in my apartment, me and Touko are preparing the last stuff to bring with us on the picnic.

"I can take care of cutting up the beets." I tell Touko as I take out the beetroots from my fridge and put them at the cutting board, while my fiancée is preparing the meatballs we made the day before

But as I cut up the beets we will use for the beetroot salad, a specialty from my country that my beloved wanted to try out, I can't help but to... stop in the middle of cutting it up.

Red juices pours down the kitchen knife as I stand there, looking at it in silence.

"Stephy, something wrong-"

As soon as Touko begins speaking, I jump and accidentally slam down the knife so it hits my finger.

"Ah shit-!" I swear to myself as I drop the knife and take my finger under the sink tap to wash of the blood.

"O-oh my god, I'm so sorry!" Touko says as she rushes to fetch a bandage for me, running to the toilet and back to the kitchen. "My sweetiepie..!"

"T-Touko, it's okay. I were the one who messed up with the knife, not your fault at all."

"But you accidentally wounded yourself as soon as I spoke, I definitely caused-"

"Touko, you didn't! Please... don't beat yourself up over it..." I tell her to comfort her. I wipe of my wet finger before putting the bandage on it.

Touko immediately goes up to me and holds my hand with my sliced finger close to her chest while looking at me in the eyes.

"Stephan, what even happened?" she asks me, as I divert my eyes from her, unsure how to really tell her. Hell, I can't say that I am just fine either, she literally said my name normally, so...

"Can we sit down for a minute?"

"Of course! Come, we will sit on the sofa, and have your favorite spot on it..!" Touko says as we head to the living room and we sit down on the sofa, though she makes sure I am extra comfortable on it with an extra pillow at my side.

"Touko, there is no need to stress to fulfill my dumb special needs..."

"I know, but... I want you to be comfortable, Stephy..."

"I appreciate it so much though, Touko, you are the best ever..."

Touko smiles at me, most likely very happy from what I said, before she goes back to a more concerned expression.

"What happened really, Stephan?"

"This might sound... strange, but..." I begin as I recall why I stopped midway with cutting up the beetroots. "...the red color flowing out from the beets down the knife began reminding me of the people I have hurt... and killed..."

I can barely look at my beloved in her eyes, but I could still see how in absolute shock she is, covering her mouth with both her hands and her eyes tearing up.

"O-oh god, Stephan..! Do you mean..?"

"T-Touko..." I can just say as I lose it and just fall down on her lap and begin crying uncontrollably...

Touko lifts me up from my laying position, before she embraces me into a tight hug, trying her best to calm me down.

But I just keep on crying, not even my beloved Touko Kirigaya makes me able to calm down. I had too much guilt at this point that I had to let out all my feelings.

I'm so sorry Touko, I wanted this to be a completely normal day between you and me, but instead, I am suffering the consequenses of how damaged you get from killing people...