Chapter 30

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Jenelle

Four years later

"Mommy can we please go to the park?" I turn away from the stove when I hear my baby girl's voice.
"Sure baby let me finish lunch and we can make it a picnic."
She smiles and nods excitedly as she tries to lift the empty picnic basket.I take it from her and she helps me to pack snacks and juice boxes. Deciding that mac and cheese would be messy at the park. I make some sandwich instead.
"Go put on your shoes while I finish up here."
She nods and leaves the room.

After being free Natasha and I decided to move to London. While on the plane we didn't know where to tell the pilot to fly us. Natasha said she always planned to study abroad in London and I agreed that it should happen. This is her chance to get what she's always dreamed.When I visited London in the past I loved it and now I can live here.

When we got settled I started therapy.I've been going for the past four years.I use to have night terrors which kept me up for hours. I was paranoid for months thinking I see Ambrossio even though I know he's dead. At one point I was convinced that his ghost is haunting me.Over the years it got better.I needed to be better for my daughter. When I was in a good place I started working at a woman's shelter. With all the money Ambrossio gave us we invested some of it and technically we don't have to work.I wanted to volunteer but the shelter offered me a job. I told them that I didn't want to receive any payment and any money that they wanted to give me they should put back in the center.

Angelo contacts us occasionally but only when he knows it's safe.I keep him up to date about what's happening with us and send him pictures of Kiah. I think it makes him happy since she's his only family. As much as I wanted him to be free and enjoy his life he still in the mafia.He wouldn't tell me exactly what he's been doing but he did say it wasn't the same as his family.

I grab my phone and text Natasha If she wants to meet us at the park as Kiah walks in with two different pairs of shoes.A pink croc on one foot and a rainboot on the other.I smile.
"Silly girl,how are you going to run and play with your friends If you're not wearing sneakers."
She looks down at her feet and then back up at me
"You're right mommy."
she skips to her room and changes into her sneakers.

We pull up to the park to see that Natasha beat us here.
"Aunty Sam!"
Kiah yells as she runs to her.She lifts her up and spins her as they both laugh.When she puts Kiah down she runs to the swing.To this day Natasha hasn't told me what happened while she was with Guillermo.She kept to herself for months after we moved here because she said it what she needed to do.I respected her wishes and she slowly got back to the Natasha I knew.She even started dating a guy she met at school.

I've accepted that I can't give myself emotionally to a man.My therapist tries to convince me not all men are the same.But she hasn't been through half the shit I have.I ignore her recommendation about getting out there.I'll just focus on raising my daughter.I catch up with Natasha about schools nd life before Kiah comes over saying she's hungry.

We lay out the food on the picnic blanket and eat as we play I spy.We stay at the park for a few hours before the weather changes.
"Bye bye aunty Sam."
Kiah yells through the car window.
"Bye guys let's have a sleep over." Nat yells and I agree to set up a night.we say our final goodbye and I drive away.
"Mommy?"
I look in the rearview mirror at Kiah
"Yes baby?"
She smiles " I love you."
I blow her a kiss through the mirror "I love you too baby".

So you're not confused in Kiah's book
Jenelle's name is now Michelle
Natasha's name is now Samantha

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