~Decisions~

~chapter 82~

"That's illegal" I say to jimin. He chuckles as he continues to rub his hands up and down my thigh. I smack his hand. I smirk at him as  he turns and glares  at me .

"What? I'm innocent" I say getting up smirking. "That's my girl" Suga says. "Mommy~" Andy says. "Hmm?" I say back. "I'm tired" he says. I turn and look at him. "Hi tired nice to meet you, I'm lydia" I say holding out my hand. He whines. "Grab a pillow and lay down on the floor then" I say. He looks at me. I look at him. "You just gonna look at me or are you gonna get your pillow and lay down?" I say.

He roles his eyes and stands up. "Attitude for a 3 year old?" I say in a questioning tone. The boys chuckle. He walks back with a pillow. He lays on the floor. "Let me join you kid" Suga says laying next to him. I chuckle this time. I walk to the kitchen and pour a cup of water. I take a drink and set it down on the counter. I take a deep breath and let out a quiet whimper.

I walk out to see the boys all laughing and smiling. I lean against the door frame of the kitchen and just smile. My eyes start to water as I walk to the bathroom. I shut the door and lock it. I wipe my tears.

"Bitch you are lucky" I say to myself. I walk back out. Hobi smiles at me. I smile back. I sit down on the couch. "Why are crying?" Jungkook says. I turn and look at him. "I'm happy. That's all" I whisper to him. "Surrounded by my husbands and my now son. I'm happy" I say softly. They smile at me.

I lay my head on Jin's shoulder. I turn my attention to the TV and somehow fall asleep.

4 hours later

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*dreaming*

"Make her suffer!Make her cry!Scream! Do something! I wanna know she's getting a punishment!" My mother yells. I let out a sob. "Mom no!" I yell. "Mom please no!" I yell again. I get dragged by Carlos. "MOM!"I yell with tears running down my face. I get shoved in a room with Carlos and Rick.

Carlos pins me to a wall. He slaps me. I whimper. Tears streaming down my face. I let out a shaky breath. I let out a whimpering sob. "You are gonna get it" Rick says. Carlos puts his hand around my throat. I look at him. I let out another sob. He squeezes as I try and wiggle out.
———————————
.. "wake up"...

.. "baby wake up"

*end of dreaming*

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I jump up. The boys sitting around and looking at me. I look at all of them confused. Andy peacefully asleep on the floor still. I wipe my wet cheeks. "Are you okay?" Tae asks. I squeeze my eyes shut as I let out a sob. I stand up and walk out onto the balcony. I shut the door behind me.

I take a deep breath. I look at the sunset. The different colors of red, orange, pink. I shiver as I feel a breeze against my skin. I try to calm my breathing but I let out another sob. The door opens. "How long do I have to keep living in fear?" I whisper out. I turn around and see all the boys standing behind me. They shut the door.

"I can't..close my eyes..with out having a fucking nightmare" I say as I turn back around and stare as the sun gives of the golden hour tint. It shines against my skin. I look out. "I can't..breath..without feeling suffocated..like the walls around me are closing in on me..I try to scream for help..nothing comes out" I whisper to them. I sniff.

I feel someone wrap their arms around me and breath into my neck. I slowly stiffen but then relax against the touch. "Trust us" the voice whispers. Sugas voice. "I-I trust you guys..I-I j-just d-don't trust m-my s-self" I say sobbing. "I can't escape the fucking past...it's always there" I choke out.

"I just need you guys to be patient with me, love me, trust me, be mine. It's all im asking" I whisper. "Lydia I love you. We all love you. We trust you. We are yours. We will be patient no matter how long it takes baby" Suga whispers in my ear.

I turn around and look at him. I wrap my arms around his neck as I hug him tightly. I let him go and hug each member individually. Jungkook holding onto me a little longer. The door opens and we all turn around. "Mommy you're crying" Andy whispers. "I'm just happy" I say as I pick him up. I smile at him. Tae reaches out for him as Andy gladly accepts. I turn back to jungkook. He smiles at me.

Is it me or did my heart just flutter?

Hope you like this chapter!!